


This Is How It Ought To Be

by TVbabie



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Awkwardness, Basketball Star! Tyler, Bi! Josh, Boyfrens, Brendon is a little shit, Coming Out, Drama, Eventual Smut, Everything is just so dramatic and cheesy, F/F, Falling In Love, Feminist Themes, First Times, Homophobia, Insomniac! Tyler, Jenna is lovely and kicks serious ass, Josh smokes, Lonely! Tyler, M/M, Pan! Tyler, Parties, Reckless Use Of Alcohol, Religion, Rich! Brendon, Romance, Romantic! Tyler, Sleepovers, Slow Build, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Tyler crushes on Jenna a bit, Tyler is secretly a sad poet boy, Tyler just wants to get in Josh ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), Tyler just wants to get in with Josh and his friends, Ukulele Serenades, josh has anxiety, sorry if your faves are dicks, unsupportive parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-07-27 12:36:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 19
Words: 72,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7618360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TVbabie/pseuds/TVbabie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler awoke to the all-too-familiar combination of his brother's voice and a sock being thrown at his face.</p><p>“Wake <em>up</em> Tyler! <em>God</em> I thought you were dead!” Zack groaned, helping himself to the contents of Tyler's wardrobe whilst Tyler himself mustered up the energy to bat the odd sock away.</p><p>“Shuddup Zack, 'n don’t use The Lord’s name in vain.” He mumbled tonelessly back into the pillow before daring to squint an eye open and look at the clock on his bedside table.</p><p>07:13 - it read, and Tyler immediately squeezed his eyelids back shut in denial. Three hours of sleep, he counted. How the heck was he supposed to function on three hours?<br/></p><hr/><p>In which Tyler and Josh are flung together for a music class events planning assignment. Needless to say, Josh rocks Tyler’s world and Tyler is far too tired to deal with anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Are You Satisfied?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey whoever's reading this! Welcome to the first fic I've ever written! Woo!  
> Okay so here's just a few things you may want to know before gettin' stuck in:
> 
> I'm from the UK so I'm not too confident on how the school system and other stuff works in the US so shout me if I get anything painfully wrong.
> 
> Tyler and Josh are around 16/17 in this AU and in their last year of High School, also in the first few chapters Tyler is mildly homophobic as is the All Time Low boys so TW for homophobic slurs.
> 
> I get that Tyler and Josh are real people; this is just a story inspired by their character and I don't wish to offend anyone.
> 
> And finally, I haven't really got a solid end to this fic but I'm gonna see where it leads me and update when I can :) hope you enjoy it! xx

Tyler awoke to the all-too-familiar combination of his brother's voice and a sock being thrown at his face.

“Wake _up_ Tyler! _God_ I thought you were dead!” Zack groaned, helping himself to the contents of Tyler's wardrobe whilst Tyler himself mustered up the energy to bat the odd sock away.

“Shuddup Zack, 'n don’t use The Lord’s name in vain.” He mumbled tonelessly back into the pillow before daring to squint an eye open and look at the clock on his bedside table.

07:13 - it read, and Tyler immediately squeezed his eyelids back shut in denial. Three hours of sleep, he counted. How the heck was he supposed to function on three hours?

* * *

Tyler slumped in his seat, barely making the bell. Music class, and by the way the teacher was twitching excitedly around the classroom, they were probably about to get a new assignment. Music wasn’t really Tyler’s scene; he was a sports guy and sports are what he does best - his peers knew it, his parents knew it and he knew it. He found music class kind of pointless from this perspective, but at least it wasn’t as hard on him as maths or science – especially on a morning like this.

The teacher leapt to the front of the room and hushed the class before beginning the lesson in a tone too sickly sweet for Tyler to focus on. Instead he took to staring blankly out of the window, wishing uselessly for his bed and a good night's sleep. It was only when the teacher started announcing names that his attention got caught.

“Hana and Claire, Alex and Miles, Mikey and Mark, Tyler and Josh-“ 

It took up all Tyler's energy (which was not a lot) to stifle a frustrated groan. A pairs project was the last thing he needed right now.

As the other names washed over him, Tyler savoured the last few moments of peace before the teacher started ushering the class to move. As chairs and tables scraped against the floor around him, Tyler sighed, slowly reaching for his bag in preparation to stand up and wade through pure chaos in order to meet his new ‘partner’. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation or maybe it was Tyler being a useless piece of crap, but mid-stride he suddenly realised that he had no idea who this guy actually was. Awkwardly placing his foot back down, Tyler's cheeks began to heat up as he wracked his brain, eyes darting frantically from person to person in a last-ditch attempt to try and jog his terrible memory, or at least make eye contact with the guy so he could trick him into thinking he knew who he was – Josh was it? Tyler was seriously regretting staying up so late last night, but then again, it's not like he could've helped it. Insomnia's a bitch, and it's _always_ worse on school nights.

“Uh, Hey.”

Tyler's train of thought was suddenly interrupted and he quickly spun around to come face-to-face with what can only be described as the most stereotypical rebellious-punk-teen he’d ever laid his eyes upon. The boy was slightly shorter than him; wearing a faded band t-shirt and (super) skinny jeans. He had black gauges in both his ears and a silver nose ring on his left nostril, but what _really_ caught Tyler’s eye was the messy fluorescent-pink Mohawk he was sporting. Honestly how could he have not clocked this guy from a mile away? His bright-haired partner must have noticed Tyler squinting at his head for an abnormal amount of time because it was then that he awkwardly cleared his throat, snapping Tyler back to reality.

“My eyes are down here, aha. Um, Tyler, right? I’m Josh, uh, Josh Dun.” Josh laughed nervously then dropped his gaze to the floor, and Tyler briefly wondered why before realising he hadn’t yet spoken a word to the poor boy. 

“Oh-uh, yep-yeah I’m Tyler, pleased to meet you,” he stumbled over his words and wiped a sweaty palm on the side of his jeans, leaving it there to linger for just a second as he wondered whether he should try and shake Josh's hand or not. He quickly decided against it and instead shoved the hand back deep into his jean pocket; ‘ _Punks don’t shake hands!’_ he scolded to himself, sheepishly looking back up at his classmate. Fortunately, Josh took no notice of his awkwardness and instead made a small noise of approval at the introduction before flinging his bag onto Tyler's desk and promptly sitting down.

Tyler wavered for a moment longer, feeling thankful that the pleasantries were now over, then went to drag up a chair of his own to plonk down onto. As he did, Josh opened up his mouth to say something else but Tyler just raised a hand apologetically and cut him off, “Sorry I didn’t get much sleep last night. Or the night before. But that’s-" he waved his hand around as if it would help him form more words, “-whatever, you know, cool hair. It’s pink,” Tyler said, ultimately giving up on his explanation.

Josh's anxious expression broke out into a wide smile and he laughed genuinely, “Oh yeah? Thanks man! I did it like a week ago but I think it’s already starting to fade, does it look alright? I think its cause I used a different brand maybe, I’m not sure,” he rambled, consciously reaching up to twirl a pink lock in-between his thumb and forefinger, eyes crossing slightly as he tried to stare at it. Tyler chuckled at the sight.

“Oh no, however will you keep up your punk façade with pastel-pink hair.” Tyler replied sarcastically, stretching his arms out on the desk as he started to relax.

“Hey man, you don't know me, I’m pure punk. I don’t take shit from nobody.” Josh joked back and Tyler raised an eyebrow playfully.

"Oh really? You seem pretty nice to me. I'm gonna make a hypothesis right now and deduce that you're just a big softie." Tyler smiled deviously and poked Josh's arm which earnt him an eye-roll and a badly-hidden smirk.

"That doesn't even make any sense and if you haven't noticed we're not in science class, Brainiac." He pointed out and Tyler snorted at his choice of name-calling.

"Oh come on, that was hardly mean - say something that'll prove you're a _real_  punk." Tyler challenged, subconsciously rapping his stump fingernails against the desk as Josh pursed his lips to hide a smile.

"And why should I prove myself to you?" He asked back, folding his arms smugly and leaning forwards to rest them on the desk - invading Tyler's personal space only _slightly_. Tyler held his gaze as he tried to think up an equally witty answer before shrugging nonchalantly and changing his approach once the silence had stretched out for a moment too long.

“Well if you were a real punk you wouldn’t have dyed your hair _pink_ in the first place.” Tyler reitorated innocently, unaware of the spite lurking in his tone.

Josh's smile faltered and he frowned, “Uh, Wh-what do you mean?" He asked, barely managing to sound annoyed.

“Oh it’s just that pink's a bit _gay,_ isn’t it. No offense.” Tyler sat back up in his chair, finally realising he had said something wrong. Josh just glared back at him and it was like the playful atmosphere of before had never existed.

“Hey man, pink isn’t a ‘gay’ colour and isn’t just inclusive for girls you know, society says ‘blue for boys and pink for girls’ because it sells! And that wasn’t even a thing until Hitler put pink triangles on gays and-" Josh snapped, stopping himself before taking a deep breath and calmly saying, “Do you mind if we not get into this?”

“You’re gay aren’t you.” The words left Tyler's lips before he even had a chance to organise his thoughts, and as Josh stared back at him with an unreadable expression, he gasped, clamping a hand over his mouth as if he had just swore in front of his parents. Josh blinked, slightly taken aback by Tyler's reaction before squinting and sighing a very small but disappointed 'ohh' of realisation. Not knowing what this meant, Tyler shot him back a look that was stuck in between uncomfortable and apologetic, seriously believing he had just outed him or something. Surprisingly to Tyler, Josh didn't cry or beg for him not to tell anyone - no. Instead he turned back to Tyler looking more confident than ever.

“Okay so in retrospect I should've seen this coming from the typical basketball-jock-guy you are, and from what I've heard you're also a little church boy who’s been brainwashed into thinking a certain way so I’m not gonna kick your ass,” He paused for a second and Tyler blinked, not entirely sure of what was happening. “One: I’m not gay, Two: Being gay isn’t a bad thing and Three: I don’t care if people think I’m gay because _being gay is not a bad thing_.” Josh finished with a huff and sat back in his chair, crossing his arms. “And pink isn’t just for girls”.

Josh’s patronising tone ticked Tyler off a little but he tried his best to keep a level head. He certainly didn't expect all of that coming from a _punk_ guy, and to think, they were actually getting along before Tyler had gone and opened up his big mouth. Biting his lip and glancing away from Josh's already averted eyes, he took a second to try and formulate an answer in his head because he had literally known this guy for five minutes and had somehow already managed to piss him off massively in that short space of time.

“Uh, sorry I, er, I’ve not been brainwashed and I’m loyal to the church but I, er, I don’t think being gay is... that bad?” Tyler said quietly, raising his eyebrows concededly. Josh’s eyes flicked up from the desk in front of him and his lips pursed into a straight line but he made no comment, the silence prompting Tyler to continue.

“I, er, I mean it’s a touchy subject with friends and family and even the church doesn’t say much about it so… I guess I’m just uneducated. Sorry, I’ll try to not be so offensive from now on.” Tyler finished, hoping he had said at least _something_ along the right lines. It’d be awkward as hell doing this project with Josh if they fell out before even getting to know each other, and Tyler was also slightly lacking in the friends department which caused him to try _extra_ hard to win Josh’s favour back.

Eventually Josh sighed, defeated, and looked back at Tyler with a hint of sympathy, “Well, I suppose you’re not a _total_ homophobic bigot, so maybe I’ll ‘educate’ you sometime,” Another smile was pulling at his lips that Tyler found infectious, “-but right now we really need to get on with this project, Ty-guy."

* * *

As it turns out, the project consisted of events planning for something musical and required a bit of out-of-school work for the pairs; so Josh and Tyler exchanged numbers and promised to ‘meet up and brainstorm this thing’ at some point during the week. Thankfully, their first lesson together ended on good terms.

Tyler was shooting baskets in his front yard later that evening when his mind wandered back to his pink-haired partner. ‘ _Why was he so het up about the 'gay' thing earlier? I mean, h_ _e seemed to know what he was talking about… so what if the church is wrong? Does that mean I've been brainwashed?’_ He knew gay people _existed_ and therefore God must have put them there, right? He’d heard preachers call them a ‘mistake’ but if it was God’s will to put them on Earth then surely they aren’t? Or are they just another ‘test’ that determines how loyal and trusting you are of God? Tyler’s head buzzed as a bead of sweat ran down his temple. There was something sickeningly humorous about the fact that it was homosexuality causing him to question his faith, and not like, the meaning of life. Tyler’s silver cross necklace knocked heavily against his chest as he scored his last basket.

Once inside, he grabbed a towel from the bathroom and flung it around his neck before drudging downstairs into his room in the basement. It was like the three hours of sleep had suddenly caught up with him and he collapsed onto his bed face-first without even bothering to take off his dirty sneakers. After a moment of stillness, Tyler flung his hand out limply to retrieve his phone from his bedside table and held down the squishy 'home' button with his thumb to turn it on. Squinting as his eyes adjusted to the screen's brightness, he scrolled straight down to Josh’s contact. Josh had put it in himself and Tyler couldn't help but grin as he read the grand title of ‘music class jish’, rolling his eyes at the typo and repeating ‘jish’ out loud just for the thrill of it; giggling in a way that was far more girly than he'd care to admit. His thumb tapped innocently on the screen as he deliberated texting or calling him to chat about his current crisis, but quickly decided that the internet is a far better consultant than a guy he had just met today - no matter how friendly or likable that guy seemed.

Somehow he managed to pull himself off of his _extremely_ comfortable bed in order to slink over to his desk and start up his computer, which whirred away busily as he sat back in his comfy blue office chair. Once he was faced with the familiar blank google searchbar he wiggled his fingers above the keyboard optimistically, and eventually decided that a simple ‘is being gay a sin?’ would be a good starting point. Unfortunately, Tyler found himself eyes _still_ glued to the screen an hour later with multiple tabs open and even more questions. More than anything Tyler just felt stupid that stuff like this seemed like common knowledge to most kids - kids like _Josh_.

He sighed and flicked back through the remaining tabs, defeated. He was on the last one when a particular ad caught his eye.

Written on the bottom left hand side of his screen in big white capital letters was ‘HOT TWINK GETS DESTROYED BY XXL DADDY’, and caused Tyler to choke on his spit in astonishment before he violently yanked himself closer to the screen to re-read the sentence a million-or-so times just to check if he was hallucinating or not. Yep, it wasn’t the sleep deprivation messing with his head - this was a _real_ advert. His cheeks burned red as he found himself even _considering_ clicking the link - _yeah no way -_ he quickly shut himself down and gripped the mouse, letting it hover over the little x in the corner of the screen, curiosity the only thing holding him back. He had barely watched any straight porn let alone gay porn - and all it'd do is give his computer a freaking virus, so  _why the hell_   _was he still considering it_ _?_

A vibrating buzz from behind him interrupted his chaotic train of thought and he jumped up, exiting the tab as fast as humanly possible. Zack had a knack of forgetting to knock before entering his room and it gave Tyler a mini heart attack every time, but this time there was no one loitering in the doorway. Instead a screen was flashing from his bed and Tyler let out a small, shallow sigh of relief as he realised it was only his phone. He let it's dull light dance across his bedroom walls two more times before cautiously going to pick it up, cursing under his breath. But then as he firmly pressed unlock he saw ‘Music class jish’ grace his home screen, and mysteriously felt all his frustration melt away. He didn’t even have to stress about the whole who-would-text-who-first-and-when-was-it-appropriate-to-do-so dynamics because Josh had sorted it out already.

 **Music class jish** : Hey Tyler, u free tomorrow after school? Wanna come round mine or somethin to work on this project? X

Although he was over the moon that Josh had texted him first, Tyler still couldn't help but eye the little pixelated X at the end of the sentence suspiciously. He didn't have much texting experience but he was _pretty sure_ that an X meant a kiss - but before jumping to any conclusions, Tyler forced himself into thinking with some kind of rationality. _'I mean, does the capitalisation of the X make it more masculine or something? Bro to bro kisses?'_ Tyler shook his head and hastily put his weird thoughts down to paranoia after all the ‘research’ he had been doing tonight. After all, Josh said he wasn't gay and, after his whole impassioned speech, he really didn't seem like the kind of guy who would lie about that stuff, right? Tyler put his phone down and roughly rubbed his face - annoyed to have conjured up yet another dilemma out of nothing. He was too tired to be dealing with any of this.

"Oh fuck it." Tyler breathed and quickly swiped up the phone to type a reply before he could overthink anything anymore, returning the X Josh had sent him out of mutual respect.

 **Me** : Yeah sure thats fine by me X

Tyler bit his lip as the message delivered and wondered if he had been too blunt and unfriendly in his reply. His worry was interrupted by another prompt message from Josh.

 **Music class jish** : noice :) X

Tyler smiled out of relief, and a wave of exhaustion overcame his body. _'I think that's enough of... whatever I was just doing - for tonight.'_ He thought to himself dazedly, reaching across the bed to put his phone back on charge. After that he stripped off, leaving his sweaty basketball gear all over the floor (he'd told himself he'd do it in the morning but - let's be real - he wouldn't) then he either passed out or fell asleep at the sensible time of 20:27pm. The line between the two was pretty blurred at this point.


	2. Inside The Outsider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- All Time Low are dicks (except Jack)  
> \- Tyler meets Josh's friends  
> \- This Is Halloween  
> \- Josh smokes  
> \- Will we ever get to the see the end of this day? No.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (TW for homophobic slurs)

Tyler was halfway through fourth period the next day when he suddenly remembered he had basketball practice after school and nearly let a number of profanities fly right there and then for double-booking Josh. Thankfully he held back and instead settled on mentally slapping himself a couple of times because he was in a public place and his parents raised him better than that - but then came the consuming feeling of anxiousness as he realised he’d actually have to  _tell_ Josh that he couldn’t make their plans, and he let a low "shit." slip from his lips.

Tyler jogged his leg under the desk, weighing some of his options as the little hand on the clock above the whiteboard inched itself closer to 1pm. He couldn’t help but notice how he felt overwhelmingly disappointed; finding himself wanting to spend more time with Josh rather than practicing basketball. _Josh_ – a guy he had only met yesterday over practicing a sport that meant his _entire_ future.

It was at this moment that Tyler realised just how lonely he was. I mean, he had his teammates but they weren’t exactly the friendliest of guys and they'd never optionally hang out with him outside of practice or basketball games. Though, to be fair, Josh was only hanging out with him tonight because of their music assignment - because he _had_ to. But still, Tyler couldn't shake the feeling that the forgiveness Josh had shown him in the first hour of their acquaintance probably outweighed _all_ the kindness the team had shown him as a collective since he joined them two years ago. That had to mean something, right?

Tyler chewed on the inside of his cheek, knowing deep down that he had to call off Josh in spite of how he felt. Missing practice was out of the question. It was his future - and it had been for the past five years. One guy wasn't going to change all that.

Tyler sighed and leaned back in his chair, quickly glancing at the clock. _'I guess I could try finding him at lunch.'_  He thought despairingly,  _'_ _Saying it in person sure beats a crappy text, and maybe I could reschedule - that is, if he doesn't think I'm being a complete a-hole.'_

* * *

After the bell rang out for lunch Tyler shuffled his way through the corridor crowds and made a b-line for the canteen, which was where he usually sat with his basketball buddies and their friends for the majority of lunch break. No one looked up as he approached the overcrowded table and Tyler couldn't tell if it made him feel sad or glad to be going unnoticed today.

“Uh, hey guys, um-" Tyler started, standing awkwardly at the side of the table to try and catch at least someone's attention. Unfortunately everyone seemed to be preoccupied with their own conversations so he dared to step closer, catching Alex say something wildly inappropriate about a girl in their shared English class.

Alex Gaskarth was the closest thing to what Tyler could describe as a 'leader' to their little group. And by 'leader', Tyler meant that Alex could say or do whatever he wanted and everyone else would just go along with it. Not exactly a fair way to do things, but you take what you can get in high school - or at least that's what Tyler would tell himself every time Alex would humiliate or make fun of him just because he could. Just because Tyler was always too tired or sensitive to fight back. Just because, apparently, Tyler was an easy target.

So to avoid getting any unwanted attention from said-Alex, Tyler turned his focus to the guy sitting closest to him; Rian, and although he was intimidating, at least he wasn't Alex.

“Hey,” Tyler lightly tapped him on the shoulder and could only watch as he turned his closely-shaven head around to face him. All you need to know about this guy is that he was once held back a year and that his face is picture-perfect for a 'wanted' sign.

“Uh, yeah?” Rian questioned rudely, as if the story Alex was now delving into was actually engaging at all.

“Uhm, do you know Josh Dun?” Tyler asked quietly and Rian pulled a face.

“Josh Dun?” He snorted, “What do you want with that faggot?”

Before he could react, Alex caught his eye and Tyler seized up. All conversations around them seemed to come to halt as Alex’s eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth to disgustedly repeat the name, “ _Josh Dun?_ Are you kidding me Tyler? I didn’t think you’d go so low as to getting with a little fucked up punk - seriously, that guy has _almost_ as many issues as _you!_ ” He finished, flashing a smirk as the people around them snickered, waiting for Tyler to try and stand up for himself. Key word here: try.

“I- I, uh, he’s my partner-“ 

“Hah, _gaay!”_ Alex called out cockily and the table erupted into another lapse of laughter. Zack even patted Alex on the back as if congratulating him for thinking up such a great diss. Tyler waited impatiently for them to finish, not even pretending to laugh it off. After a full nine hours of sleep he was too awake to let anything slide this time.

“ _I didn't finish."_ He demanded daringly, causing a few 'oooh's to slip from the surrounding crowd. Alex noticed this and raised his eyebrows in a comical way before gesturing nonchalantly for Tyler to continue.

As the others stared on, Tyler took a breath, trying not to look as nervous as he felt. "Look, we got paired up in music class and I need to find him, so does anyone know where he eats lunch?”

A few people snickered out of habit whilst others looked towards Alex, probably expecting him to make some kind of joke instead of revealing any information that'd be actually useful. At this point Tyler was thinking _'Why did I even bother coming to them for help in the first place?'_ , but then Rian slowly nodded as if he knew something and Tyler let himself get hopeful for one blissful moment. Unfortunately, all Rian did was smirk and say, “Probably at your boyfriend’s ass.”

At this, the table erupted into a fit of laughter that was even  _more_ spectacular than before - that is if the sounds they were making could even be _classed_ as laughter. It was giving Tyler some kind of déjà-vu about his last visit to the zoo where the monkeys had had a massive scrap and traumatized most of the kids there. Yeah, that sounded about right. Tyler clenched his jaw and swallowed his pride, turning to make a dignified exit before he got involved in the inevitable detentions they'd get given for disruptive behavior. He didn't need that kind of crap on his school record.

Ignoring the hoots and hollering coming from the table behind him, Tyler headed straight for the exit. He decided he'd just have to go and find Josh himself, _'The school's only so big - how hard could it be?'_ He stormed out of the double doors and, in his reckless anger, suddenly collided with someone, stumbling onto his hands and knees.

“Oh gosh, sorry man I didn't - _Tyler!_ ” Tyler glanced up to find none other than Josh Dun standing over him with a wide smile and an outstretched arm. Now that was  _way_  easier than expected. Quickly recovering from his shock, Tyler grabbed his hand gratefully and brushed himself down, anger evaporating into nothing. That's when he noticed a girl standing beside Josh who seemed vaguely familiar, although her features were way too pretty and striking for Tyler to forget _that_ easily. She had blonde hair, piercing blue eyes and as she turned to face him he also spotted a matching streak of light blue in her hair. She flashed him a smile and Tyler involuntarily went a bit a red, quickly refocusing his eyes back onto Josh, whom he had momentarily forgotten about.

“Uh, thanks man, I was actually just looking for you. I kinda need to talk to you about-“

Josh waved his arms and shook his head, cutting Tyler off. “Come with us. I haven’t had _any_ lunch yet and I’m starving! We can talk on the field.” He turned to carry on walking before stopping for a second to add, “That’s Jenna by the way - in case you didn't know.”

“Hey.” Jenna smiled sweetly at Tyler again and for some reason he couldn't seem to do anything but blankly stare back like some anti-social idiot, then continue to stare as she dismissively turned to match Josh’s stride. Tyler wavered for a moment longer before scurrying to catch up with the two, taking to walking on Josh's side as he tried desperately to hide his blush. Jenna then picked up halfway through a story that he assumed he probably interrupted when he crashed into Josh, so - not wishing to embarrass himself any further - he kept his head down and stayed positively silent as they neared the school field.

“…So then this guy is like ‘get out of my house then, slut, you’re officially uninvited to this party’, like fine, yeah I left, the party blowed anyway, but what _really_ got me was that he called me a slut for _refusing_ to suck his dick like honestly where is the logic in that.”

Josh shrugged dramatically and then said, “I dunno Jen, maybe if you weren’t showing off your shoulders like a god-damn whore he would’ve thought twice before asking you.”

Tyler's eyes shot wide open at Josh's blunt comment and he quickly snuck a glance at the pair who had just gone into an awkward stone-silence, but then they simultaneously burst out laughing and Tyler blinked, taken-aback. If he hadn't been feeling like a third wheel before, he surely was now.

Tyler looked back over at them just in time to catch Jenna wipe an imaginary tear from her eye and pat Josh on the shoulder, which was still shaking from his ongoing laughter. “Oh babe you got me, _that’s_ why.”

As the trio crossed the school field it became apparent that they were approaching one group in particular who were sitting in the corner on the grass under the shade of a large tree. There were about five of them, boys and girls, looking like quite an odd but welcoming group. A couple of them even looked up and waved or shouted, beckoning the three of them over.

“Hey guys this is Tyler, he’s my partner in music class.” Josh announced and they all acknowledged him in one way or another through gestures or sweet ‘hello’s, then Josh went around the misshapen circle and began politely introducing the group to Tyler.

“So big-forehead dude over there is Brendon-“

“Hey!”

“Next to him is, of course, Dallon, then flame-head is Hayley, uhh, the one dressed like a child is Melanie, greasy boy is Gerard, and the guy who has hair like a skunk is Jack.”

Tyler smiled and nodded politely at the group who then went back to their previous conversations. Josh, however, carried on.

“That beautiful madam there is Jenna and I am, of course, Mr. Spooky Jim.”

“The one and only,” Jenna chimed in as she sat down next to who Tyler presumed was Hayley by her bright orange hair.

“Spooky Jim?” Tyler chuckled questioningly, turning back to Josh.

“Yeah, that’s my street name like 'Lil’ Marco' or 'Sting' or something.” Josh threw his bag onto the ground and sat down with legs crossed. Tyler followed, smirking.

“Sting isn’t a street name, that’s the guy from The Police, and why 'spooky'? It isn’t even Halloween. Its May.” Tyler pointed out matter-of-factly.

Josh gasped and clutched his chest dramatically. "How dare you, Tyler I-Don't-Know-Your-Middle-Name-Yet Joseph! _Every day is Halloween here!"_ He half-sang, half-shouted before breaking into some kind of song, “Boys and girls of every age wouldn't you like to see something strange…”

A few others around the pair including Jenna and Hayley whooped at the sound of the familiar tune, and it took no time before the _whole_ group was joining in, creating a somewhat acceptable harmonised version of ‘This Is Halloween’ from the popular and beloved Tim Burton movie. Unfortunately, it was not as beloved or even _known_  to poor Tyler, who was shuffling back in shock and confusion as people around him started getting up and dancing terribly - including Josh. Tyler was _positive_ someone started break-dancing at one point but he couldn't be 100% sure because it was all such a blur, and before he knew it Brendon had taken the lead from all the way up on Dallon’s shoulders (how he got up there so fast - Tyler had no clue). Once he had assumed the position of ringleader, Brendon revealed a piece of scrap paper that was rolled up to become a makeshift megaphone, and as he held it to his lips he began to shriek:

“Aren't you scared? Well, that's just fine!  
Say it once, say it twice  
Take a chance and roll the dice!  
Ride with the moon in the dead of night!

EVERYBODY SCREAM!”

As the others began marching around him, Tyler looked on horrified, _really_ not knowing what to make of the situation. He had some kind of a hunch that he was currently witnessing the holy grail of all inside jokes and - of course - he wasn't a part of it. Well, at least not _yet_.

From within the satanic-like marching circle Josh noticed Tyler sitting on the sidelines and hesitated for a second, looking as if he was about quit the festivities, but then he ran over to the outsider with a crazed grin on his face and rustled up his hair before grabbing his hands and pulling him up to dance as the song broke down for the bridge. The circle then broke up accordingly and they all began dancing (still badly) in pairs following Josh and Tyler's example - all except for Dallon who was still parading a singing Brendon about on his now aching shoulders.

Josh began doing a little twist, still holding onto Tyler’s hands and motioned for him to do the same. Awkwardly and with half the enthusiasm, Tyler obliged with a red face but an also growing grin - thankful to have been involved again. Josh then let go of one of Tyler’s hands and raised the other to do a clumsy pirouette under and the two burst out laughing.

Somehow towards the end of the song (that Brendon refused to let die) the pair managed to get into a tango-like position and Josh suddenly dropped Tyler into a dip. He gasped at the unexpected move but was held steady by Josh’s arms, and looked up to find him red-faced and grinning out towards the others. Tyler saw his adam's apple bob as he swallowed, panting slightly. He smelt nice. As he turned his head, Tyler suddenly realised that all eyes were on them and that people were clapping and whooping, causing Tyler to burn another shade of red as he stuck a leg and an arm out to do some jazz hands whilst they held their final position.

Josh swooped Tyler back up and released him from his grip, quickly stepping back and scratching his head as if he felt he had crossed some kind of line.

“So, uh, yeah, those are my friends and I understand if you never want to speak to me again.” Josh joked, still red, looking like he was regretting some of his former actions. Tyler grinned and frantically shook his head in disagreement.

“No, no, that was great! I mean, I’ve never really seen or done anything quite like… like _that_ , but it was pretty awesome dude. It was fun.”

It was at this moment that Jack brushed past them and smacked Josh hard on the ass. Before Tyler could react, Jack looked over at him and said, “You guys have great chemistry,” before winking and waltzing back towards the others. Josh laughed nervously and tried to smack Jack’s ass back but missed by an inch. Jack cocked a hip and turned back to blow a kiss over his shoulder before continuing on, letting out a devilish laugh cast upwards to the sky.

As the two found themselves alone again Josh bent over to place his hands on his knees and wheezed, “Oh man, am I out of shape.”

Grateful that Josh had swiftly changed the subject, Tyler made a face at him as he straightened up. “Uh, no? Have you seen those biceps? They’re like, the width of both my arms put together,” Tyler exaggerated, gesturing towards his toned arms. "You could probably carry me and you wouldn't even feel a thing - well I mean you did kinda carry me, uh, back there. With the dip...and everything..." Tyler stammered and looked away before changing the subject. “-Anyways, I actually needed to talk to you about something.”

“Oh yeah?” Josh questioned as he sat back down and got some sandwiches out of his bag.

“Yeah, um I forgot that I have basketball practice tonight so I won’t be able to hang out with you - or uh, work on the project.” Tyler said solemnly, quickly changing his word choice as he remembered the actual reason for their ‘hanging out’.

Josh swallowed a bite of his sandwich slowly and failed miserably at trying not to look disappointed. Tyler gathered that he was probably a bad liar.

“No man, it’s cool I understand.”

They then fell into a solemn silence as Tyler reached into his own bag to get out some chips. He was cracking the bag open when Josh spoke again, hitting him lightly on the side as an idea popped into his head.

“Oh dude, how long do you have practice for? Cause I can just wait for you, ya know, er, if you like?” He got less confident as he kept on talking and hastily took another bite of his sandwich to shut himself up. Tyler waited a beat before replying - trying not to sound as eager as he felt towards the concept.

“Oh it’s like an hour and a half, but it's fine we can do it another day, no biggie.” Tyler said, sounding half-hopeful that Josh would wait for him.

“Dude I can just wait for you to finish, I'll watch and cheer you on from the sidelines!” Josh mused with a goofy grin on his face. “Gimme a T and all that stuff.”

Tyler laughed happily as Josh put down his half eaten sandwich and pulled a box of cigarettes out of his pocket. He turned back to Tyler.

“You smoke?”

Tyler recoiled out of habit and said, “Uh, no thanks, it’s not good for basketball and stuff, like, uh, lungs.” He was half-scared that Josh would go off on him again but instead the other boy just shrugged.

“Suit yourself.”

He reached back into his bag for a red lighter, then delicately put a cigarette in between his teeth and lit it. He inhaled a long drag, holding it for a second, before releasing the smoke up into the sky with his eyes closed. Tyler watched, intrigued somehow. He even zoned out a little and wondered what it'd be like to spend lunch with Josh all the time.

Josh's eyes fluttered open and his head lolled back towards Tyler, a content smile on his face. Tyler noticed that he bore little creases beside his eyes because he squints when he smiles and briefly wondered if he’d ever get to see those creases on the daily. He'd like to hope so. He believed that they could be friends - it wasn't _totally_ out of the question. But then Tyler's line of sight wavered slightly to the right and he was met with the shocking scene of Brendon and Dallon passionately making out a mere few feet behind Josh. Tyler choked on a half chewed crisp and looked away, blushing furiously. Josh’s smile widened as he turned to see what Tyler was looking at but upon viewing the sordid sight behind him he returned to face Tyler with an annoyed expression.

Tyler suddenly realised Josh was probably thinking he was being somewhat homophobic and quickly put his hands up in denial, “No, no, no I, uh, I’ve just never seen, uh… two guys…making out. I was - uh, it just surprised me s’all.” Tyler yanked at his T-shirt’s collar distractedly in a ‘ _Did it just get hot out here or is it just me_ ’ kind of way before Josh’s expression relaxed slightly and he turned back to yell at Brendon and Dallon.

“Not in front of our good little Christian boy, guys! Think of the children!”

The two sprung apart just long enough for Brendon to stick his middle finger up at them before promptly getting back to work on Dallon’s lips. It was then that Jenna turned around and piped up at Josh.

“Hey don’t bash religion just because you’re a sad and immoral atheist, aren’t you forgetting that I’m a 'little Christian girl' too?”

Tyler flicked his head around to face Jenna and she sneakily caught his immediate reaction, tilting her head and questioning “What, surprised?”

“N-no, er-" Tyler managed to stutter out before Jenna went into story-telling-mode.

“Did you know that the Bible is open to interpretation? Because I didn't, not up until quite recently. I struggled a lot with my faith, especially when I came to terms with being a lesbian, but then I realised that religion is changing all the time, you know, and it was only my parents and their generation who were making me feel terrible about myself. Technically the bible says it’s a sin to wear clothes with two different types of fabric in it but no one pays attention to any of that stuff do they? They twist the Bible’s words to their will, and that’s why you must find your own way.” Jenna paused, and looked around at the others who had gone silent. “Wow, I didn’t realise I’d be making such a speech but yeah, Tyler, if you ever have any struggles regarding your faith and don’t wanna talk to these heathens, come to me.” She smiled sweetly again and Tyler felt a pang of disappointment as he recalled she was a lesbian. He felt he had quite the crush.

It was Brendon who then broke the silence by clapping his hands together and insensitively announcing “’Kay, so who’s ready to worship Satan and sacrifice this virgin?” He grabbed Josh’s shoulders who struggled to get free as Brendon pulled him into a headlock. 

“Get a room you two,” called Gerard who was now standing up, “The bell’s just gone. Time for registration.”

Tyler felt his smile falter at the thought of going back to his normal routine, so he quickly pulled a grass-stained Josh aside on a desperate impulse.

“Josh, do you think I could, uh, eat with you guys again sometime? My friends are… kinda dicks.” He mumbled and Josh nodded enthusiastically.

“Of course man! I like having you around, it adds some more spice to the dish if you get what I’m saying - I mean - not like you’re spicy or anything just like - oh never mind.” Josh shook his head but couldn't shake the grin from his lips and started walking to catch up with the others.

Tyler followed with an equally as tough-to-get-rid-of grin, and for the first time in a long time he was looking forward to the days to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh son, Josh totally thought Tyler was blushing because of him and now ya boy is #mad.  
> Tyler is oblivious and just wants friends.  
> Maybe we'll finally get to the end of this day in the next chapter (we won't, it's a long freakin' day).


	3. Ever Since We Met

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- A little bit o flirty texting bants  
> \- Tyler stands up to Alex  
> \- Intro to Pete Wentz as The Coach  
> \- Tyler gets inspired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, TW for homophobic slurs ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> This is a bit of an odd short chapter but it's one step closer to the end of this freakin' day.  
> I just can't seem to move things along as quickly or smoothly as other writers but maybe I'll get better at that as I keep this thing going who knows.

Later that day, Tyler was nearing the end of last period with his forehead buried gracefully in his desk and a book open in front of him to give the illusion that he was actually doing some work. Mathematics absolutely did his head in, even if he _did_ have a full nine hours of sleep that night. But since his thoughts were definitely not occupied with quadratic equations, he decided that he may as well do something fun to pass the time. Tyler carefully removed his phone from his hoodie pocket and unlocked it under the table; opening up his recent messages. He quickly found Josh’s chat (since the only other chats on his phone were with his mum, dad and brother) and flicked his head up momentarily to check if the coast was clear.

Sure enough, the teacher was on the other side of the classroom 'helping out' Alex because - despite being capable enough to average a B plus - he constantly craved her attention and acted like an idiot in order to get it. Pretty much everyone knew he had a crush on Miss Jackson, even Miss Jackson herself, because he made sure to mention it before, during, and after every single maths lesson - saying things like 'I bet I can get her in bed by the end of the year', or 'that Miss Jackson's got an ass like an angel'. At the very least he wanted to have sex with her, but calling it a 'crush' sounded much nicer than that, Tyler thought.

 **Me** : Yo Jish u still coming to watch me practice? X

Tyler quickly typed the message and sent it, knowing full well that Josh probably wouldn't just change his mind on the matter in the space of about two hours, but he was desperately bored and needed an excuse to text him. He quickly put his phone on silent just in time for Josh’s reply to come through - prompt as always.

 **Music class jish** : Yea boi! look for me in the bleachers :) and jish?? U can’t just make up a hybrid of spooky jim and josh, u gotta choose one or the other X

Tyler smiled and typed his reply. Next time he saw Josh in person he was _so_ going to call him Jish or Jishoua... Jishwa? That sounded about right.

 **Me** : that’s what u called urself in my phone contacts lol. Music class jish is your new street name X

 **Me** : also pls don’t come n sit on the bleachers my team will see u X

 **Music class jish** : sorry tyjo but they’ll probs hear me too cus I’m gonna be screaming ‘but she wears short skirts I wear t-shirts, she's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers’ ;) X

 **Me** : that’s not the only thing you’ll be screaming tonight ;P X

Tyler bit his lip as he sent the last text but he just couldn’t help himself; what can he say? He has a lewd sense of humor, and that was probably the only common trait he shared with his basketball buddies that he was willing to admit. And even though a bad sexual innuendo joke was a bit risky to unleash this early on in the developing stages of a friendship, if anything it was showing Josh that he _wasn’t_ homophobic. Right?

 **Music class jish** : O yea baby boy? make me ;) X

Tyler pursed his lips, re-reading the text. He honestly wasn't sure whether to class this as flirting or just Josh continuing on with the joke. Looking back at his earlier interaction with Jenna, the latter seemed plausible as it looked like he enjoys taking things to the extreme - but does Tyler know him well enough to have that kind of a joke going between them? Tyler wracked his brains to think up an appropriate yet witty reply but, alas, he was never good with banter (as his teammates liked to constantly remind him). Surprisingly, his phone buzzed again and he quickly opened the message.

 **Music class jish** : sorry if I freaked u out there I just thought it was funny lol

 **Me** : no dude I was just trying to think up a witty comeback but u got me ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Music class jish** : omg how’d u type out that emoticon so quick

Tyler breathed a sigh of relief as the subject changed to something other than his awkward attempt at a sexual based joke. He'd never be trying that one again.

 **Me** : I have it copied in my notes… how sad it that X

 **Music class jish** : OMG.

 **Music class jish** : guess who does that too X

 **Music class jish** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Tyler out right snorted at the last texts but saved himself by turning his fit of laughter into a cough. He looked around to see if anyone was watching before looking back down at his phone.

 **Me** : u just made me snort in maths class

 **Me** : there’ll be hell 2 pay when I get off the courts X

 **Music class jish** : oo kinky x

 **Me** : stop sinning Jish X

 **Music class jish** : make me X

 **Me** : is that ur most commonly used phrase or what? X

Tyler smirked at his comeback that was actually pretty witty. Who said an old dog can’t learn new tricks?

 **Music class jish** : #exposed

 **Me** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Music class jish** : the student has become the master x

“Right class, so I have some homework to set you for next week-“

Tyler jumped at the sound of the teacher’s voice interrupting the almost dead silence filling the classroom. He quickly glanced back down to his phone screen as she turned her back to the class to write something on the board.

 **Me** : gtg jish teach is winding up the lesson, see u soon X

He shoved his phone back in his pocket and began copying down the details she had left on the board. He felt his phone buzz against his stomach through his hoodie pocket and pulled it out under the desk once again. He smiled as he read the text.

 **Music class jish** : see you soon baby boy X

* * *

Tyler shut his gym locker and pulled two sweatbands onto his wrists just as he heard the nearing laughter and sneaker-squeaks of his teammates echoing through the changing rooms, indicating it was probably time for him to move onto the court and warm up. He turned on his heel and headed optimistically up towards the changing room doors, wondering if Josh would still be there like he said he would - but his thoughts were interrupted by a boisterous shout from Alex.

“Hey Tyler! Buddy! Where were you at lunch? We missed you!” Tyler stopped by the door, pursing his lips and slowly turning around to see the sneering faces of his teammates approaching him. Great.

“I uh, went to find Josh - like I said.” Tyler tried answering casually, but he knew his expression was too hard and nervous looking. These boys could sniff out anything.

“For the whole of lunch? Yeah right, you ate with that faggot and his faggot friends didn’t you?” Alex questioned in a fake-happy tone, stopping right in front of Tyler with his hands on his hips.

“Uh he’s not a f-faggot - I mean - he’s not gay and uh, even if he was it wouldn’t matter. He's, uh, kinda cool and so are his friends so...” Tyler tried, instantly regretting every jumbled word that just came out of his mouth.

Alex’s expression suddenly turned serious and he titled his head, “Oh?” he said, making a little circle with his mouth as he drew it out, “Did you forget about your little bible studies all of a sudden? That punk bats his lashes at you _once_ and you drop everything for him?”

“No, that’s not-“ Tyler put his hands up in denial as Alex stood over him, Zack and Rian looming either side of him like expressionless bodyguards.

“No, _you_ listen here,” Tyler was now backed up against a wall on the left-hand side of the corridor - something that they had never done to him before. Don't get me wrong, they'd done a lot of crappy things to Tyler, but never something so outright threatening. At this point, Tyler had officially stripped them of any title that regarded them as his ‘friends’ - and to be honest, that was quite overdue.

“What does the bible say? Go on, tell me.” Alex crossed his arms and bore his eyes into Tyler’s.

“I don’t-“

“'Man shalt not lie with another man'. That’s what it says. But you know that, right? So all  _we_ wanna know is why you’ve betrayed us for this _faggot?_ You said you don’t care about music class but now you’re eating lunch with him because of it? Have you got a fucking _crush_? Have you forgotten about the _team_ because of him?” Alex spat back, a spot of saliva landing on Tyler's cheek. "ANSWER ME."

This moment could be easily pin-pointed as 'the last straw' for Tyler because suddenly he became filled with white hot rage; the years of borderline-bullying sugar-coated as _'friendship'_ all piling up on top of him and manifesting in his expression. All he could think about were the tirelessly sour memories of humiliation and exclusion - day in, day out - playing on a loop in his mind, and whatever comes next will have all been worth it because for a few _sweet_ moments he actually got to see Alex look  _scared_ because of him.

“You _fucking_ know what?" Tyler started, "I _do_ like Josh and I ate with him and his friends today because they’re _much_ better company than you idiots have _ever_ been! Like, how many times are you gonna recycle the same _bullshit_  story about fucking some random girl at a party? No one cares Alex! It gets pretty boring after the first _fourteen_ _times!_ And maybe if you had more than _two brain cells_ in that _empty fucking head_ of yours, you'd actually be able to hold a girlfriend and wouldn't need to make up all these  _shit_ stories to impress people with in the first place!” Tyler exploded, even daring to point a hard, accusing finger at Alex’s chest.

For a few seconds the scene remained just like that; a glorious freeze-frame that Tyler would recall in the years to come as the most satisfying moment of his life thus far. That is, until, Alex unexpectedly grabbed the wrist of the hand Tyler was using to poke him with and slammed it into the wall behind him. Before Tyler could yell out or break free, Alex used his other hand to roughly grab his chin and pin him down.

“Boy, are you gonna _fucking_ get it -“

“What’s going on in here?” A stern voice sounded from behind them and the trio jumped apart, releasing Tyler in the process. Tyler himself scrambled to his feet and let out a shaky sigh of relief as the bodies parted to reveal their coach, Mr. Wentz, who was waiting patiently for a reply. As no one else dared to speak, Alex nervously cleared his throat.

“No-nothing sir, just chatting about last week’s game.” He lied through his teeth and Mr. Wentz raised a questioning eyebrow directly at Tyler as he obviously sensed the deception. All Tyler could do, though, was slowly nod in agreement because the last thing he wanted right now was to be called a snitch. Mr. Wentz sighed, deciding to let it go before clapping his hands together.

“Alright then, well you all should’ve been on the court five minutes ago so chop-chop.” He moved to hold open the door, prompting the team to move. Alex, Zack and Rian had no choice but to slink through it reluctantly, but not before Alex could shoot Tyler a salty look as he vanished onto the court.

Tyler took a deep breath and smiled shakily to himself before pushing off the wall and joining them, adrenaline still flooding his veins from the confrontation. He knew this practice time would be an unofficial-official battle between Alex and himself to determine who wins the argument, which was childish really but all Tyler wanted to do right now was wipe the _fucking_ floor with Alex, just for once. He’d already gone this far and there was no way in hell he was going back to being his 'friend', so he might as well go the whole nine yards with this thing.

The harsh artificial lighting temporarily blinded Tyler as he stepped onto the shiny court floor and he shunted to a halt to consciously ruffle his hair and soothe his vest down as he recalled Josh would be watching. As he began walking again, he casually looked over towards the bleachers and - sure enough - he spotted a single, pink-haired figure sitting slumped in the middle of the second row, feet resting up on the back support of row in front of him. _'These damn rebellious teens...'_ Tyler thought to himself in a comical old man voice before smirking as Josh looked up at him and the two locked eyes. Josh immediately threw a hand up to wave with a big, wide grin, and in return Tyler ducked his head slightly and raised a hand to awkwardly wave back.

He didn't want to show it too much but he was genuinely happy that Josh had come - especially after the incident in the locker rooms; he didn't know if he'd be able to hold his ground without a bit of support. Not only that, but his parents never really attended his games anymore because they were just such a normal part of his life now. He acted as if it didn't bother him, but really it did. His parents weren't proud of much about him, but basketball always was the one thing they'd be impressed by. Now that the effect had worn off and they didn't watch him anymore. Tyler just wanted some attention, something to fill the void, because he knew how good he was and how hard he worked, but he never got any recognition for it. Somehow having Josh there gave this effect; this effect that made him want to push his limits, to _impress_ Josh and put Alex back in his place.

Tyler felt a fire light inside of him, a fire that he hadn't felt for a long time. He was going to give this his all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Relight my fire, your love is my only desire  
> Relight my fire cos I need your love  
> Relight my fire, your love is my only desire  
> Relight my fire cos I need your love, yeah!


	4. Baby Ain't Made Of China

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Tyler thrashes his team and does a dance  
> \- Josh is a supportive friend  
> \- Hardcore bullying occurs  
> \- Josh to the rescue  
> \- Really Gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for homophobic slurs and the title is from a Wolf Alice song that kind of inspired some of this x

Tyler dunked basket after basket and each time he did, his teammates' faces burned a deeper shade of red. This, of course, only made the smirk on his face grow wider and as his ego was being boosted through the roof. Even Josh seemed to be enjoying himself as, around fifteen minutes in, he'd gone through the extensive trouble of writing ‘ _GO_ ’ and ‘ _TYLER!_ ’ on opposite sides of a scrap piece of paper in bold, black, messy handwriting in order to further encourage his sporty acquaintance. He was currently holding up the makeshift banner and let out a soft ‘whoop’ as Tyler scored yet another basket.

Without the usual roar of the crowd, you'd think it wouldn't be the same for Tyler but, in reality, this was the best game he'd played in months. And it was against his own team.

“Aaaand that’s a wrap guys!” Coach Wentz suddenly announced over the ear-splitting squeaks of the teams' sneakers and beckoned them over. The boys slowed to a panting halt and came together in a loose circle around him. Whilst the others looked positively defeated, Tyler just couldn't wipe the smile off his face. It was obvious - he had finally won.

“Tyler, well done. That was the best I’ve seen you play in a while, kid,” Coach clapped Tyler on the back who soaked up the praise gratefully before taking on a sterner tone as he addressed the others, “The rest of you seriously need to pull your socks up before the next big game 'cause by the looks of it Tyler is _carrying_ this team and I know you all want this just as much as he does.” He then paused for dramatic effect and gave them each a patronising look that said something along the lines of _‘If this ever happens again you’ll all be doing 500 baskets everyday after school until you improve’_. I guess you could say he took these matters _very_ seriously.

They were then dismissed to the showers, and without a single word of insult or backchat his teammates slunk away back into the changing rooms with their metaphorical tails in between their legs. Tyler, on the other hand, felt on top of the world and jogged enthusiastically up towards Josh who was now leaning on the front row with his arms crossed, wearing a cocky grin.

“What’s up Troy Bolton.” Josh flashed a dazzling smile and Tyler laughed.

“Oh nothing much, Danny Zuko,” He smirked back as Josh leant forwards slightly to give him a solid slap on the upper arm in congratulations.

"Dude! You fuckin' thrashed them back there, that was amazing, man!" Josh exclaimed excitedly and Tyler tried his best to act humble.

"Ah, thanks man. I dunno, I guess I was just feelin' it tonight - or maybe it was your _super_ -inspiring banner that really made me go for it," Tyler quickly gestured to the tatted piece scrap paper in Josh's hand and upon acknowledgement Josh loosely waved it about like a flag as the pair laughed. "Anyway," Tyler continued with a chuckle, "I’m just gonna go hit the showers so I’ll meet you outside the school gates in a bit, but you'll _never_ guess what happened in the locker rooms before the game...” Tyler grinned deviously, thinking back to the argument as Josh leaned forwards against the row, his words piquing his interest.

"What? You found a bright pink dildo in Alex's locker!?" He questioned urgently and Tyler groaned.

"Ugh, I wish." 

"You found his birth certificate and it turns out his parents _really_ _are_ siblings!?" Tyler rolled his eyes at the quickfire suggestion but still couldn't help from snorting at the notion.

"Nope, you'll have to wait till I've had my shower." Tyler laughed and pointed cheesy finger-guns at Josh who just groaned at the suspense of waiting.

"Aw, come on! I was _positive_  the birth certificate was it!" Tyler laughed and loosely crossed his arms, stubbornly refusing to tell Josh what had happened for his own amusement. Josh rested back into his seat, defeated, and gestured towards the doors. "Okay, okay, go and have your crummy shower - but be quick alright or we won't make it back in time for dinner."

“Dinner?” Tyler questioned. He hadn’t really thought that far into their plans.

“Yeah, my mom made some lasagne the other night that she said we could heat up, but if you’d rather we can go to like, Taco Bell or something.”

Tyler beamed as he automatically thought _‘Did he tell his mom about me?'_ , but thankfully what came out of his mouth instead was:

“Dude! I _live_ for Taco Bell, but, I, uh, don’t really wanna turn down Mama Dun after her gracious offer.” He tried to be as polite as he could but it was probably obvious that he’d rather have some crunchy shell goodness. His mouth was watering just thinking about it.

“Eh, it’s fine,” Josh shrugged, “I can just text her or something while you’re getting, um, showered so,” Josh trailed off before picking up again enthusiastically, “-but yeah man! Taco Bell is where it’s at!” Tyler laughed before taking a slow step back.

“Alright Jish, I just need to get out of these gross clothes and make myself look at least half decent so... see you in a bit.” Tyler waved a hand in the air as he spun round towards the court’s exit.

“…Goooo Tyler! Go Tyler! Go Tyler!-” Josh started chanting behind him and Tyler heard a rustle of paper as he raised his homemade banner up to his chest and began flipping it to the beat. Tyler smirked and started to walk to the rhythm of Josh’s chants which were now getting louder. Just as a crowd-pleaser, Tyler did a little hop-step and started dancing in a circular motion with his arms outstretched like a kid pretending to be an airplane. He’d hate to have seen what he looked like in that moment, but he carried on carelessly with a grin that stretched from ear to ear. Once he went around a full circle and a half, he clapped and did some impressive jazz hands as his (now) signature finishing-move facing back at Josh.

Josh threw down the makeshift banner and stood up to give Tyler a one-man standing ovation. Tyler stepped to the side and did a small comical curtsy, holding the bottom of his baggy basketball shorts in substitution for a tutu.

“Bravo! Bravo!” Josh cheered, “If I had a rose I’d throw it to you right now.” He joked, voice watering down back to a normal volume.

“If you threw me a rose I’d keep it.” Tyler said genuinely with his voice croaking slightly at the end. He really needed some water- Tyler froze up, suddenly realising that what he had just said was a bit on the creepy side. He didn’t mean it like _that_ , he just wanted to go along with what Josh was saying and show him that his praise was appreciated! But of course, Tyler said _nothing_ along those lines and instead turned on his heels and sped out of the large hall with his head down, leaving a glowing but slightly confused Josh Dun behind him. Tyler was stupid.

He felt even more stupid and wished he had just stayed with Josh because as he entered the changing rooms his eyes were cursed with the sight of three angry, half-naked, wet teenage boys wearing nothing but towels.

There was no going back now, and as he made his way over to his locker Tyler prepared himself for the worst - but no words were exchanged between them at all as he pulled off his vest and grabbed a towel. The most he got was another salty stare from Alex which he felt quite disappointed in. These guys had been making him feel like crap for two whole years and now they just stop because Tyler hit back _once?_ That hardly seems fair.

Tyler padded down the changing room hallway a little further to the shower stalls and stepped into one, leaving his towel, shorts and shoes on the bench outside. He turned on the faucet and hung his head as a cascade of cool water hit his shoulders. _'Ahh, finally'_. He pressed an arm against the cold wall and leaned into it, watching the water swirl down the metal drain at his feet. Maybe Alex was finally going to leave him alone, and maybe, finally, he could be friends with Josh - no strings attached. Suddenly his thoughts were interrupted by a bang from outside and his head shot up, water droplets hanging from his thick eyelashes.

“He-Hello?” He called out, probably not loud enough for anyone to really hear.

“Guys?” He called out again and turned the shower off to better focus his hearing. A couple of whispers and snickers coming from the direction of the locker room indicated that whatever his team were up to - it wasn't anything good. You didn’t have to be a genius to figure _that_ one out. Tyler huffed and unlocked the door, feeling more confident in himself after his fresh 'win' against them. He poked his head around the side of the shower stall and called out yet again.

“Listen, whatever you’re up to can you just quit it 'cause I’m really not in the mood!” After receiving no reply except for a few more giggles he ventured further out, reaching for his towel- his… towel?

Tyler looked down horrified to find that his towel was nowhere to be seen and before he could stop himself he let slip an, “Oh no.”

As if on cue, the boys burst to life and began sprinting down the hallway, making Tyler's heart leap out of his chest as he jumped to cover himself up with the shower stall door.

“Looking for this?” Alex exclaimed excitedly before appearing around the corner holding Tyler’s towel up like a flag. Tyler clenched his jaw but kept his expression neutral, trying not to react. The last thing he wanted to do was fuel their fire, but unfortunately Alex knew exactly how to press his buttons.

“Or maybe… These?” Alex followed up tauntingly as Rian pulled out Tyler’s day clothes _and_ his basketball kit. Tyler couldn’t help but almost snarl as he fully realised what was going on.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing? They were in _my_ locker, they're _my_ clothes, and you- you can’t just take them!” Tyler accused bitterly, knowing full well that he was in absolutely no position to do so - naked and wet and standing in a crappy school shower stall.

“Looks like we just did.” Alex frowned comically and began to stroll slowly towards Tyler’s stall. Tyler tried to hold his ground but quickly lost at the apparent game of chicken as the reality of the situation quickly kicked in; slamming the door back in Alex’s face and fumbling to lock it as soon as he got too close for comfort. He had nothing on them now; all he could do was back himself up against the cold, wet wall and try to cover himself up the best he could, even though in his heart he knew these guys could have the door off its hinges in seconds. The surge of confidence he had felt earlier was now dwindling down the drain along with his shower water. He clasped a hand over his mouth and told himself it was just the cold making him jitter but he couldn’t deny the way he jumped out of his skin when Alex’s fingernails rapped lightly against the blue door.

“Don’t get in our way again, fag.” Alex spoke softly and Tyler stopped breathing. He could’ve heard a pin drop if it weren’t for the rapid pounding in his ears.

“Come on, let’s go.” Tyler heard him mumble and listened as their footsteps and sick snickering faded away into nothingness. Finally, when he thought they were out of earshot, he took a deep breath and let out a loud sob – to which even he was shocked to hear. But before he knew it he was full on crying, naked, and sunken down on the gross floor of a changing room shower stall all because _some guys took his clothes_. This stuff happens in movies and it's always funny - so why wasn't this funny?

It wasn’t like his life was in any danger. It was just a stupid  _prank_. Stop being so _oversensitive_.

Any sane person would have wandered out by now to see if any clothes had been left but Tyler just stayed on the cold, unhygienic floor next to the used plasters and stray hairs _weeping_. He had lost track of time as his thoughts seemed to run down a long list of everything he hated about himself and repeatedly screamed the conclusion that _‘This is why you’ll have no friends and be alone forever, you fucking sap!’_. He knew it didn’t really make any logical sense at the time but he was being irrational and wallowing in his darkest thoughts, as he usually does when things get a bit too much.

It was only when he heard another loud bang, a thud, and a slight “Ow” that he was brought back to his senses and froze, holding his breath. Fresh tears seeped out of the corners of his eyes as the thought entered his mind that the team had probably come back to taunt him further - but for some reason he cried even harder when he heard a different, friendlier voice call out his name.

"Tyler?"

It was Josh, and before he could stop himself Tyler started laugh-crying before taking a few shaky breaths and desperately calling out “In h-here.”

“Uh, Tyler?” Josh questioned again cautiously, voice closer now. Tyler tried to quickly compose himself; running a shaking hand through his damp hair as he tried to even out his breathing before speaking. It didn't really work but he spoke anyway.

“Ye-yeah, um, so, th-the guys, they, uh, they-they took all my cl-clothes and m-my towel and Iknowitsreallystupidbut-“ Tyler’s pitch rose as he tried to keep himself from crying but failed once again.

“Shhh, Shh, don't worry- it’s okay Tyler, we’ll sort this out.” Josh’s voice alone soothed Tyler’s mind a little and for a moment it was silent. Then he heard a rustling noise and realised that Josh had just sat down on the damp floor in the open stall next to his. He tensed up and consciously pulled his legs closer to his body in an almost automatic defense.

“Are you okay? They didn't- You're not hurt are you?” Josh asked with practicality, worry seeping into the undertones of his voice. Tyler could see his fingertips on the floor underneath the stall wall, resting in a small gritty puddle.

“Physically? N-no, I’m okay. Emotionally - I guess I’m just, uh, a little shaken up.” Tyler had stopped crying at this point but his breathing still hitched when he saw Josh’s hand wander slowly under the stall wall and rest upon his own. He stared with wide eyes as Josh's thumb rubbed soothingly across his damp knuckles, but he didn’t pull away. In fact, Tyler was surprised to find that Josh’s hand felt warm and comforting against his own and the sensation made the fine hairs on his arms prick up. At the very least the unexpectedness of it all kept Tyler distracted from the situation at hand - and that was better than nothing.

So they stayed like that for a while. Tyler leaned his head against the side of the stall closest to his partner, whom he had dragged into this whole mess. But Tyler was too exhausted to feel anything other grateful that Josh was here; silently wishing he could just hug and see him instead of doing _this_ , naked and through a plastic wall. He also wished he hadn't let himself become the victim again, but he didn't regret speaking his mind earlier. Not one bit.

After a while Josh’s hand retracted from his and Tyler almost let out a whine.

“Okay Ty, I’m just gonna go and see if I can find you some clothes. I’ll be right back, I promise, but in the meantime…” Tyler heard a zipping noise and soon after a black hoodie was flung over the top of the stall door. Tyler stretched out his aching joints and slowly stood up, holding the wall for support as he reached up for it.

He pulled it down and as he ran his wrinkled fingers over the fabric, he smiled sadly.

“Josh I can’t... I’m all wet.” Tyler mumbled pathetically. Without a beat Josh replied back.

“I can’t have you catching a cold Ty, there’s no way in hell I’m gonna carry this project for you.” Tyler could almost hear the grin in Josh’s voice, and couldn’t help but smile weakly back. He pulled his arms through the sleeves and zipped it up, throwing the hood over his damp hair and shoving his pruning hands deep into the pockets.

“Thanks Josh.” he smiled into the hoodie, chapped bottom lip resting against the zipper. Josh must’ve just been wearing it because it was still warm and Tyler was, again, grateful for that.

“Be right back,” Josh said cheerily, and Tyler listened as his footsteps pattered around the changing rooms.

Tyler let out a deep sigh, subconsciously inhaling cigarettes, mint and a woodsy aroma from the hoodie in the process. The cigarettes dried up his throat and the mint swirled around the pit of his stomach in a slightly nauseating but brilliant way. He pulled the hoodie up so that the zip was resting on the bridge of his nose and decided to just breathe in Josh. No need to overthink things now - it was just something that was helping to ground him. Or at least, that's what he dismissively told himself in the moment.

* * *

Tyler emerged from the stall with a red-face, puffy eyelids, and a T-shirt that was two sizes too big for him. He had sneakily put the hoodie back on over the top of it, hoping that Josh wouldn’t notice and ask for it back. It was still kind of damp but Tyler didn’t care; it was bringing him some sort of comfort that he couldn’t quite explain in his current state.

“Woah dude,” Josh said as he stood up from the bench opposite the stall, “who are you and what have you done with Tyler?” His speech was breathy but a smile still pulled at his lips.

Tyler, in his grim wallowing, was caught off-guard and involuntarily let out a small, shy, snort of a laugh. Josh grinned and took a step closer to Tyler, lingering for a second as his expression became more sympathetic before revealing Tyler’s phone which he had concealed in his jean pocket.

“They, uh, left this in your busted locker.” He spoke delicately. Tyler nodded and took it thankfully before shoving it in Josh’s hoodie’s pocket.

“Oh, uh, 'busted'?” Tyler questioned in a croaky tone. Josh nodded his head regretfully.

“Yeah... uh, see for yourself, they really went to town on it. Crowbar and everything.”

The pair wandered down to the scene of the crime which consisted of Tyler’s dented locker door and a couple of bolts scattered across the floor. Something was written in neon pink graffiti above the empty locker, but Tyler’s eyes just wouldn’t focus on what it said. He stared blankly for a second before blinking a few times as the word formed in his head.

_FAG._

At first, Tyler didn’t even register the hatred that motivated tag, and instead wondered how - even with all their combined brain power - they couldn’t even think up a more meaningful insult towards Tyler. 'Fag' was all they ever said. By now, Tyler wasn’t even fazed by the word. He was desensitized to it. Numb, even. He turned back towards Josh who reciprocated with a solemn expression, but Tyler just shrugged nonchalantly - the whole drama of the situation wearing off.

“I... don’t care if people think I’m gay because being gay is not a bad thing.” Tyler slowly repeated what Josh had said to him the first time they met and smiled half-heartedly. Josh seemed to well up with pride and before he knew it, Tyler was being engulfed in a hard, warm hug as other boy threw his arms over his shoulders. Tyler’s hands almost automatically wrapped around Josh’s lower back and he held on tightly, another tear slipping out of his left eye.

“Now,” Josh said, stepping back and out of the hug. “-Do you still wanna go get some Taco Bell?”

Tyler scrunched up his nose and pulled a face. “What, dressed like _this_?” He said as he motioned towards his ridiculous outfit. Josh chuckled.

“No one’s gonna care what you look like, it's _Taco Bell_ , dude. And and once we get back to my place I can lend you some of my clothes. Unless you, er, would rather go home?” Josh trailed off and scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

“Going home to my family doesn’t seem like the _best_ thing in the world right now... I think I just need to take my mind off stuff for a bit.” Tyler explained quickly, more worried about being left alone with his thoughts than his family.

“Well, uh, nothing a little crunchy shell can't fix! Are you, uh, are you okay to get going? It’s already ten to six and I, my friend, am ready for some greasy fast food heaven.” Josh placed his palms together and looked up dramatically, mimicking a prayer.

Tyler snickered and shoved Josh’s arm playfully. He was glad Josh wasn't dwelling _too_ hard on what had just happened, which saved him back a small slice of his pride. Tyler was more than ready to just leave the whole ordeal in the dust behind them -  and preferably on a trail that lead straight to a particular fast food restaurant. It was with that thought that he turned to walk to the door, but was stopped by Josh who placed a firm hand on his shoulder.

“Err sorry dude, it’s locked, we have to go through the window.” Josh said, pointing towards a small rectangle-shaped window on the other side of the locker room. Tyler groaned and rolled his eyes before stopping short and pausing.

“Wait - is that what I heard when you broke in? You fell didn’t you?” Tyler smirked and followed Josh towards the high window.

“I don’t think _now_ is the right time to be accusing me of such things, Tyler.” Josh said in a reserved but joking manner, avoiding the question as he crouched down and linked his fingers together before motioning for Tyler to receive his offered boost up to the high window. "C'mon."

“Wait… are you really doing this?” Tyler smirked and walked up to Josh, mimicking his position before bumping against his shoulder. "I think you should go first man, I can get up there by myself _easy_.” Josh pulled a face at Tyler's sudden surge of confidence.

“No way dude, that window is _way_ too high and you’ll never be able to boost me.” Josh stated in disbelief, standing up straight.

“Oh yeah cause you’re that fat.” Tyler replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes and straightening up himself. “I think I can handle it, and yeah I can totally make that. I bet you ten bucks.” He said confidently. Little did Josh know, Tyler had actually done this once before when he left his phone in his locker after practice, but he wasn’t going to reveal that part to him  _just_ yet.

“You know what,” Josh said walking round to face the window and readying himself for the climb, “You’re on.” Tyler smirked and crouched back down - assuming his position.

Josh did a small run before placing his hands on Tyler’s shoulders and his right foot in his linked palms. Tyler twizzled round and pushed Josh’s foot up like a natural as the other boy reached for the ledge, his left foot adding an extra boost against the wall as well. Tyler released, stepped back, and looked up excitedly to see if he had made it. Instead met with the sorry sight of Josh dangling helplessly from the ledge with his arms and feet outstretched and pressed up against the wall. Tyler couldn't help but burst out laughing, feeling stitches in his sides as he clutched his stomach.

“Hey! You ass! Shut up and help me!” Josh cried from the ledge with a hint of desperation in his voice. Tyler managed to simmer down just enough to direct him on how to get out of his uncomfortable position. Tyler soon heard a loud thud (once again) that indicated he had made it to the ground outside as Josh rolled through the rectangular window.

A beat after the thud Tyler heard a feint, “I’m okay!”, to which he shook his head and chuckled. He then cracked his knuckles and backed up his runway, taking three long strides before bending his knees and propelling himself into the air. His right foot collided and pushed up against the wall whilst his left foot rose as high as it could to propel him once more. With his arms stretched out he just made the ledge, and quickly heaved himself up, using his upper body strength to grab the outside corner and slip through the window with ease, dropping down lightly onto his hands and knees. He slowly stood up and brushed his hands together, dusting himself off. Looking up smugly as he found Josh staring with his mouth slightly agape and his eyes wide.

“Well… I guess Tacos are on me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well we still ain't at the end of this god forsaken day but at least things are a little gayer now. When is Tyler gonna realise he's in deep?


	5. The Only Ones Who Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Debby Ryan  
> \- Frenship  
> \- Sexuality chat  
> \- Tyler Chickens Out  
> \- Mother Joseph tries to understand  
> \- The Never Ending Day finally ends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realised the first part of this fic sounds exactly like that verse in 'Fit But You Know It'.  
> I don't know what to do with this information.

Tyler stuck close to the right side of Josh as they neared the front of the queue in the infamous Taco Bell. His foot tapped lightly to the beat of a catchy chart tune as both boys peered up at the glowing menu above the counter with stomachs growling. The restaurant itself was relatively quiet and seemed like a bright safe haven in comparison to the dulling twilight outside, and in this moment, the shower-stall situation seemed less like it happened an hour ago and more like it happened a year ago - the only reminder being the unflattering T-shirt Tyler was currently trying to hide underneath Josh's more appropriately-sized hoodie. Tyler was deliberating on getting some nachos when Josh suddenly sprung to life and leaned towards him whilst pointing up at something on the board.

“Dude, they’re having a sale on chalupas! Ugh, I love them!” Josh swooned, but it was probably just the hunger talking.

“Ugh.” Tyler repeated in full agreement as the body in front of them walked away, leaving them fully exposed to the line of zombified employees manning the counter. A girl in the center motioned for the boys to come forwards with her hand as she distractedly pressed some buttons on the till. 

“Welcome to Taco Bell may I take your or- Josh? Jeez, I’m gonna have to start keeping you away from here with a stick ain't I,” She sighed tiredly and Tyler glanced questioningly at Josh who suddenly seemed to stiffen up. "-How many times do you come here per week man? Ya know, I should start keeping a tally." She smiled deviously but Josh just stared back, still refusing to meet Tyler's gaze - or maybe he forgot Tyler was there at all. Tyler let out a small annoyed huff at the idea but still, Josh just stared at the girl.

“Hello to you too Debby.” He finally replied in monotone. Tyler frowned at Josh's rudeness but quickly resumed a neutral facial expression as Debby’s gaze then drifted towards him and a big grin spread across her face. Tyler shuffled his feet awkwardly, succumbing under her glare.

“Well who’s this strapping young fella?” She eyed Josh suggestively, nodding at Tyler.

“This is Tyler, Tyler – Debby, Debby – Tyler” Josh motioned quickly with his hands, obviously impatient to order and get away from the girl. Tyler was getting bad vibes from her anyway.

“Salutations.” Tyler said with the same coldness as Josh, looking more like he should be saying _‘I come in peace’_ with his odd outfit and tired, purple under eyes - and he might as well have been with the stumped way Debby ogled at him.

“What?” She blinked, eyes flicking between the pair. Tyler smirked a little as her uncomfortable grin faded.

“It means-“ He started matter-of-factly, but Josh interrupted him.

“It means hello!” Josh finished, finally cracking a small smile and finally turning to face at Tyler. Tyler smiled back at him and sort of stood there, just glad that Josh wasn't too hung up on this Debby character anymore. He briefly wondered what had happened between the two of them before Josh suddenly decided this was a prime high-five moment, which definitely made the situation more awkward than it needed to be.

Debby looked on, unamused, the so-called charm of their interaction wearing off. “Alright, so what can I get you boys?” She asked promptly, causing Josh to almost instantly perk up at the thought of food.

“Uh, I’ll have a Chalupa Supreme and a coke,” Josh said confidently, “Tyler?”

“Same for me please.” Tyler shrugged. What could be say? Josh had good taste.

* * *

 Tyler carried the tray with both their meals on as Josh tucked some change back into his wallet. He'd kept his word about paying for the food but Tyler had a feeling he would've done it anyway. After all, Tyler's wallet was in his backpack which was who-even-knows-where.

The pair had decided to sit at a cosy booth in the far corner and Josh was currently unwrapping his chalupa in the same way a man would undress his wife or a sexy lady, or a sexy lady undressing another sexy lady. Tyler doesn't discriminate.

“Oh baby,” Josh said seductively as he tore the paper off the chalupa. Tyler chuckled, feeling a heat rise in his cheeks at Josh’s raw obscenity as he opened his own. Josh took a massive bite and groaned erotically as the flavours filled his senses. He then tried talking with his mouth full, which is never a good idea.

“What?” Tyler laughed at the undecipherable animalistic noises coming from Josh. “Finish chewing before you speak. God, who am I your mother?”

Tyler himself took a reserved regular-sized bite out of his own chalupa, but still couldn't help throwing his head upwards and rolling his eyes into the back of his skull at the pure goodness of the food. Honestly, what did these two look like to strangers?

“I said-“ Josh swallowed the rest of his colossal mouthful, “This shit is _amazing._ ”

“Praise it brother” Tyler said, enthusiastically pumping a fist into the air. Josh grabbed his coke from the tray and tilted it towards Tyler. Tyler, obviously confused, slowly leaned forward as if to take a sip but Josh pulled the coke away and laughed, leaving an embarrassed Tyler hanging outstretched halfway across the table.

“No dude, I was gonna do a 'cheers' thingy!” Josh laughed, pointing his straw in the direction of Tyler’s coke. Tyler blinked hard and retreated back into his seat before grabbing his drink hastily and lifting it towards Josh's.

“Woah, woah, wait a second, I wanna make a toast.” Josh said proudly, holding his cup up. Tyler snorted.

“What? In Taco Bell? What a _lovely_ gesture.”

Josh smirked and reached for a plastic fork they had been given and tapped it pointlessly on the side of his cola. “Quiet! Quiet please!” Josh called out a little too loudly. The family two booths in front of them turned around and both boys ducked their heads, bursting out with laughter.

“Shh! Oh My God be quiet Tyler!” Josh half-whispered, kicking him lightly under the table as Tyler disappeared and lied down across the booth seats, nearly wetting himself with laughter.

“It was the plastic fork that got me.” Tyler managed to wheeze out. “I’m actually gonna piss myself in a second.” Tyler sat up only to burst into another fit of giggles as Josh gave him a serious look which he only held for about .35 seconds.

Finally they managed to simmer down and Josh started his ‘toast’.

“My dearest Tyler, may we have a long and prosperous reign as music-class-partners and may our event blow all the others out of the water-“

“-And may this be the start of a great friendship.” Tyler optimistically interrupted, lowering his coke for a second wondering if he had gone too far. Tyler resented his impulsive nature, but he could never stop himself. He nervously looked back up at Josh to find him nodding approvingly.

“I’ll drink to that.”

Their drinks collided dully, ice shifting inside the paper cups. As they sipped their drinks in silence Tyler thought  _'_ _Does this make it official then? Are we friends now?'_  , and desperately tried to come up with another conversation starter to distract from his awkward and, frankly, lame outburst.

“So, um, who was that Debby girl? She doesn’t go to our school does she?” Tyler asked casually before taking another bike of his chalupa.

“Oh, uh, yeah I used to go to her school up until last year, that’s probably why you didn’t know who I was in music class…” Josh trailed off. Tyler stared at the table, still feeling slightly guilty about that. “But, uh, yeah. She’s actually my ex.” Josh finished, returning his attention to his meal.

Tyler blinked and sat back. “Really?” he said slightly shocked. _'Wow, maybe he really isn't gay.'_

Josh shot Tyler a glance, “Yeah? Is that so hard to believe?”

“No, I uh, I just uh,” Tyler tried, “I-I don’t wanna offend you cause I know you said you weren’t gay but you were so sensitive when I was being homophobic and-“

“I’m bi, Tyler.” Josh said bluntly, taking a sip of his coke.

Tyler gulped and nodded. He'd heard of that term before. “Um, so you like… Swing both ways?” Tyler asked, slightly intrigued.

“Yeah.” Josh said simply, then added with a small joking smirk, "And before you ask - no, I'm not confused."

Tyler wanted to ask more questions but held his tongue, not wanting to be outspoken. Josh raised an eyebrow at his reluctant response.

“Are you okay with that? Church boy?”

“Oh, yeah of course I just, um, how many more are out there? Like sexualities, or whatever - I mean.” Tyler itched his knee nervously, not knowing why he was asking this stuff.

Josh sat back and smiled, which eased the tension a bit. “Well they're sure as hell 'out there' but Scully and Mulder aren't looking for them.” he began, sliding in a subtle X-Files joke that Tyler would've appreciated had he not felt so damn nervous - _'why am I nervous?'_ “-So basically there’s the whole LGBT+ community that includes sexualities and genders that aren’t like-“ he put his hands up and made little inverted comma signs, “- the ‘norm', or whatever-“

"Uhh, the LGT-plus-what-now?" Tyler questioned jokingly but with real nervous confusion. Josh leaned forwards and linked his fingers around his cola on the table.

“LGBT is like, an acronym. So, the L stands for lesbian, like Jenna, G for gay like Brendon and B for bisexual like-“ Josh pointed at himself and did a cheesy pose, “Moi.” He paused and took a sip of his drink before carrying on. “In regards to other sexualities there’s, like, asexual, where you don’t want anything to do with sex. Aromantic, where you don’t want to have anything to do with romance. Uh, Pansexual, where you’re purely attracted to someone’s personality rather than their genitals or whatever biz they got going on-“

Tyler’s heart skipped a beat as Josh explained the last one. “Uh, wait go back one, um, Pansexual?” Tyler was sitting on the edge of his seat, just knowing that he could at least partially relate to what Josh was saying.

“Pansexual? I mean, it’s pretty similar to being bisexual but instead it includes all genders, not just two.” Josh explained but Tyler frowned, not really knowing what that meant. Josh sighed at Tyler’s confusion and explained further.

“So like you could be attracted to a trans person, a non-binary person or a person of third gender etcetera, but it doesn’t matter what they identify as because you purely focus on the personality of that person, like, that's what you're attracted to.”

Josh’s words echoed around in Tyler’s brain.

“You okay Ty?” Josh asked. Tyler blinked.

“Uh, yeah.” He went back to nibbling on the remaining third of his chalupa, not encouraging Josh to carry on or making any effort to speak. He was too absorbed in his own thoughts.

_'I can’t be..._

_But it makes sense. You can relate to Josh’s definition._

_But I’m basically straight; I don’t know what any of those non-binary things mean. I’ve never fancied anyone who isn’t a girl._

_That’s a lie._

_I’ve never even been in love, never had a relationship how could I know?'_

“Tyler, are you okay?” Josh was waving a hand in front of Tyler’s face.

Tyler’s head shot up.

_'I think I’m pansexual.'_

“Yeah I’m fine, just tired.”

Josh stared into his eyes, the kind of stare you do when you’re trying to figure out if someone is lying or not.

“Seriously I’m fine!” Tyler blurted out a bit harsher than he had intended. Josh looked away, and Tyler realised he had finished his meal. Quickly shoving down the remnants of his own chalupa, Tlyer got out his phone to look at the time. 21:11.

_Shit._

Tyler quickly stumbled out of the booth and Josh looked up.

“So, listen Josh, I uhm, thanks for all this but I think I need to get home. I didn’t realise how late it was and uh, sorry we didn’t get to talk about the project. Still, I had a really nice time and, uh, thanks for paying.”

Before Josh could even get up to speak Tyler had already started towards the door. He shoved his hands deep into the hoodie’s pockets and clutched his phone, pushing the thoughts of labels and his sexuality out of his head.

He could’ve sworn he heard Josh call after him but he was too focused on thinking up excuses for his parents. He prayed that they wouldn’t punish him too severely for coming home this late.

* * *

Tyler shut his front door carefully and quietly to avoid waking any of his family members up. By the time he got home it was nearly 10, and as he turned away from the door it became obvious that his efforts hadn't prevailed. His mom was already up and leaning against the banister of the stairs nursing a cup of coffee.

“Hey mom, sorry I’m so late, uh, some stuff happened at school and-“

“Whose hoodie is that?” She asked, eyes flicking downwards for a split second. She had a frantic, crazed look in her eye that she was obviously trying to cover up with her casual body language. Tyler knew her too well to understand that this interaction was going to be _far_ from casual. “Is it your boyfriend’s?” She asked, lowering her voice.

Tyler’s eyes fluttered as he tried to make no immediate reaction. Josh wasn’t even his boyfriend, so why was he acting so cautious? He then paused and swallowed hard, rewinding his last thought. Why did he think of Josh just then?

“No, it’s Josh’s.”

His mom nodded and looked away. Tyler could tell that she was on the brink of tears.

“Tyler.” She looked back at him with sadness and fear in her eyes.

“You know we love you very much, _I_ _love_ _you_ so so so much.” She seemed to be almost pleading. Tyler was starting to get worried.

“What’s going on mom?” He barely even whispered, starting to feel the fear himself.

She took a deep breath and stiffly walked into the living room. Tyler took his shoes off and followed on his tip-toes, as if any amount of noise would make the situation fall into chaos. His mind was now racing, trying to understand why she would bring up such a specific thing. What did he do?

Tyler sat on the couch beside his mom and put his hands neatly on his lap. His mom shakily turned and took them in her own, lightly squeezing them, trying to reassure herself more than anything.

“The school called today at around half six saying that your locker had been vandalised, and that… some spray paint had been used to write a… certain word.” Tyler’s mouth formed a circle as he silently mouthed an “Oh”.

“Now obviously I was worried for you because I know those boys on your team can be… not very nice at times, so I went through your room and-“

“You went through my room?” Tyler choked out, only managing to sound disappointed rather than angry.

“I know I shouldn’t have but I just wanted to make sure you were okay honey.”

"You could've just asked me." Tyler murmured coldly. Her eyes were still pleading desperately but Tyler withdrew his hands from hers and looked away. It wasn’t like he had anything to hide, but that was a major invasion of his privacy. She choked up at the gesture but forced herself to carry on.

“Well, I um, I ended up going on your computer and I looked through your internet history.”

Tyler’s heart dropped as he realised where this was going. ' _No, no, no, no, how could I have been so stupid!?-'_

“Now I understand that sometimes teenagers go through phases and-“

_'No, no, no, no-'_

“I just want you to know that-“

_'Please no, no, no-'_

“I haven’t told your father.”

Tyler let go a breath that he didn’t know he was holding. It came out like a sigh of relief, and his mother caught on, but what he was feeling was far from relief. Although, he was still glad that his mom hadn't told his dad because who knows where he'd be right now - homeless or six feet under, more likely. There was never any time to explain to his father, he was a very opinionated man and his opinion was final. Outdated, sure - but final.

“Even if you are... like this, you know I will still love you no matter what.” His mother said slowly, trying desperately to show that she truly meant it.

Tyler looked up at his mom who was now smiling back at him with a few glistening tear stains on her cheeks. They were invisible except for when they caught the light. What came next could be similarly described as the silence between a child falling over and a child crying out in pain. Those few seconds where the child just sits and processes what has happened. That was how Tyler felt. Like a child in that situation. And just like the metaphor, those seconds passed, and Tyler’s face began to distort as he tried to hold back the imminent wave of tears.

“Mom I don’t think I’m straight” He squeaked before hanging his head and completely bawling. His mother scooped him up into a hug and his cries became muffled by her cardigan.

“I know honey, I know.” She began swaying back and forth with him wrapped tightly in her arms, and ran a delicate finger through Tyler’s hair.

 She sat there and comforted him until he had no tears left to cry.

“Do you wanna talk about it honey?” She asked more confidently now that Tyler had confided in her.

Tyler pulled away and shrugged, snot running down his face.

She quickly produced a box of tissues out from behind her and Tyler couldn’t help but laugh an ugly bunged up laugh at the fact that she was so prepared for this outcome. She handed him a couple of tissues and he blew his nose generously, taking another to wipe away the remaining tears.

“I won’t tell your father about any of this, it’ll just be between you and me, okay? And I’m going to try really hard to understand this whole ‘gay thing’ but-“

“I’m not gay, mom.” Tyler said, feeling the puffiness of his lips as they strained while he talked. She titled her head and looked back at him, confused.

“Well what was all this for then?” Tyler tried to ignore the relief and happiness that seeped into her tone all of a sudden.

“Um, well I still fancy girls but… maybe g-guys now too?” He said quietly, a new wave of panic rushing over him as he said the words out loud.

His mother’s slight smile faded into confusion again. Tyler carried on talking because how could he possibly make the situation any worse at this point.

“I could be um… bisexual? But I think I’m actually, uh, pansexual.” Tyler finished, watching as his mother filtered through these new terms wearing an uneasy expression. He didn't know if it was his desire to make his mother understand, or to convince himself that he _really was pan_ , but he rambled on, trying to explain everything to the best of his abilities.

“Bisexuality is, uh, being attracted to two genders, like girls and boys, but, um, pansexuality is being attracted to someone regardless of their gender or sex or whatever.” Tyler tried repeating Josh's words that had made so much sense to him but they obviously didn't translate so well to his mother who slowly nodded, but still didn’t look like she fully understood.

“I fall in love with the person, not the gender.” Tyler finished, looking back down at his hands and taking a shaky breath. A few moments passed as Tyler let her process the information.

“Okay, well, that’s great sweetie! _You’re_ great! And maybe I’ll still get some grandchildren after all, you never know!” She smiled genuinely and Tyler bumped his shoulder lightly into hers playfully.

“Mom, you still have Zack, Maddie and Jay, and even if... that. I can still, uh, adopt.”

“Yes, yes and we will love them dearly-" She stopped short, expression reverting slowly back to fear.

“You know your father…” She started.

“I won’t tell him. Not yet. I've not even got _my_ head around this whole thing - it's all kinda sudden.” He sighed, and she smiled sadly.

“Maybe you won’t have to tell him if you try really hard to fall in love with a girl?” She said hopefully - only half joking. Tyler knew she meant no harm but he quietly corrected her.

“It doesn’t work like that, mom.”

She pursed her lips and nodded, changing the subject.

“Well I suppose this means that there's a boy in your life who's suddenly made you question all this then?” She pried, looking a little excited again. Tyler was lucky that his mom loved him so dearly. His father - not so much.

“Um, yeah you could say that.” Tyler glanced down at the hoodie and rubbed the sleeve’s material with his thumb. His mother noticed.

“Josh?” She whispered cautiously. Tyler didn’t reply, but of course it was Josh, he had no other friends. It wasn’t fucking Alex, that’s for sure.

“I think I’m gonna go to bed.” Tyler croaked out, standing up from the couch. His mother quickly got up and wrapped him into another hug. She whispered an, “I love you” into his ear then went upstairs herself. Tyler trudged down into the basement - not wishing to think about anything for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this was a bit of bummer but now that Tyler knows he's pan and he's kinda attracted to Josh things are gonna get a bit more interesting ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> So when I looked at you standing there with your hoard  
> I was waiting in the queue looking at the board  
> Wondering whether to have a Burger or chips  
> Or what the shrapnel in my back pocket could afford


	6. Certified Mind Blower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Enter Zack Joseph with Brotherly Love  
> \- Alex looses respect, his dignity and some other stuff he deserves  
> \- Jenna is an angel  
> \- Tyler wants Jenna to think he's Actually Pretty Cool

The harsh beeping of his alarm clock ripped Tyler from sleep, and a new wave of dread washed over him. He had gotten a little under 4 hours of sleep last night because of his constant worrying about, well, everything.

1, He was probably pansexual which meant 2, he wasn’t straight, which meant 3, his father and his team would _end_ him if they ever found out. Tyler sighed as he rolled over and reached for his phone. 4, Josh wasn’t answering any of his texts.

Tyler knew he had acted like a douche last night; running off like a coward without any explanation, but he had initially thought that Josh would forgive him as soon as he had the chance to explain his situation. Being bi and all, surely Josh would understand. Unfortunately, it was just Tyler's luck that Josh had been ignoring all his messages, and the kind of stuff he wanted to talk about isn't something you can just announce over text. So the information remained hidden, and Tyler couldn't tell if he was relieved about that fact or not. Sitting up in his bed, he scrolled through his messages for the hundredth time.

 **Me** : Hey Josh, I’m really sorry about last night X

 **Me** : R u mad? X

 **Me** : I need to talk to you, can I meet u at lunch? X

Tyler had sent these periodically throughout the early hours of the morning, hoping that Josh would reply and let his mind finally rest. Maybe then he would’ve had a decent night’s sleep.

It didn’t help that he was also _still_ wearing Josh’s hoodie. Tyler pulled the zip up to his nose and inhaled. This really wasn’t normal. Tyler had an addictive personality and the fact that he hadn’t taken this hoodie off since yesterday was a bad sign. It was also a bad sign that the majority of his thoughts last night revolved pretty much around Josh and Josh alone.

By this point, Tyler had realised that his feelings for his friend may not be completely… platonic. He pieced together that if it weren’t for Josh, he may not have ever found out he wasn't exactly straight; through educating him and being, well… the reason, if you will. Tyler felt uncomfortable in his own skin now, constantly wishing that he was still oblivious to his feelings - like when he thought ‘Josh smelt nice’ was a normal thing that ‘friends’ thought.

It wasn’t that he had thought about kissing Josh or anything serious (that’s a lie) because he still just wanted to get to know him. He’d only known the guy for a day and a half and he had already turned Tyler’s poor life upside down. To be fair, he still had doubts about his feelings for Josh but it was just the fact that Tyler knew, deep down, that he was at least  _willing_ to act upon these feelings at some point in the future, and that concept terrified him. He hoped that Josh was a terrible person, and that he’d never answer his texts or speak to him ever again.

That was another lie.

A light knock on his door interrupted his thoughts and he quickly pulled the bed covers up to hide the hoodie.

“Tyler, sweetie?” His mom called out softly in case Tyler was still asleep. She cracked opened the door, allowing some light to spill into his room. She stepped into Tyler’s line of sight and revealed a tray holding a generous amount of toast and a glass orange juice.

Tyler looked up at her confused. She never brings him breakfast.

“Morning sleepy-head," She said, trying her hardest to act fun and optimistic at this time in the morning, "-I just thought I’d make you some toast as something nice after yesterday’s… unfortunate events.” She articulated, walking towards Tyler’s bed. “Just with all the, um, crying.” She added quickly under her breath, trying not to dwell on it as she set the tray down on his bedside table.

“Thanks mom, really.” Tyler tried to say genuinely, even with his croaky morning-voice. It wasn’t just the toast that he was thanking her for.

She smiled and leaned down to kiss his forehead before shuffling out of his room, probably going to check that his siblings hadn’t killed each other yet.

Tyler munched on his toast contently, sitting up cross-legged on his bed. Just when he thought _'this day might not end up being so bad after all_ _',_  Zack suddenly came bounding into the room and started rummaging noisily through Tyler’s drawers.

“Do you even know how to knock?” Tyler snapped before taking another bite of his toast. Zack spun back around with an un-ironed blue T-shirt scrunched up in his hand.

“What, it’s not like you’re jerking off or anything.” he said, throwing Tyler’s sour tone back at him.

Although his brother was two years younger than him, he had shot up like a bean sprout and was now basically the same size as Tyler – bigger even. The two had a comfortable agreement of sharing clothes as neither of them wanted to get a job to pay for the said clothes and neither really cared for fashion. As Zack flung the blue T-shirt over his shoulder, his eyes caught onto the plate Tyler was holding. 

“Wait, mom made you breakfast? No fair! What happened this time? Did you come out and introduce her to your _boyfriend_ or somethin'?” Zack joked dismissively, attention already back on the contents of Tyler’s drawers. Even though he had only said it just to peeve Tyler for getting breakfast-in-bed, Zack's suggestion was close enough to the truth to make Tyler choke on his toast. Zack turned around to give his brother a questioning look, but what really gave Tyler away was the way he nervously cleared his throat before letting out a meek "N-no."

There were a brief few seconds where the two siblings just stared at each other, trying to work out what the other was thinking - but Tyler's poker-face may as well be made out of glass as Zack's narrowed eyes suddenly widened in shock, and in that moment Tyler knew the gig was up. 

“No way!? You’re actually gay? I mean I had my suspicions but-“

“Zack keep your voice down!” Tyler said through clenched teeth, knowing there was no point in trying to lie to him. He was sure they had a weird brotherly connection but, moreover, Tyler was just too tired to invest energy in trying to conceal anything and lying had never been his strong-point.

“Alright, alright I’m sorry. You know, I’m actually kinda offended you never talked to me about this. We share everything dude.” Zack looked at Tyler accusingly as he held up the T-shirt as proof.

Tyler ducked his head and motioned for Zack to sit down on his bed. Is this what it’s like to come out? You’ve gotta go and explain it to everyone you know, one at a time? Tyler was pretty close to shouting it from the rooftops already and he’d only told his mother.

“Okay yeah, I’m n-not straight but I’m not gay-” Tyler started, rushing to explain it all.

“Oh so you’re a little bi-curious or somethin’ - so what?” Zack was still relaxed and joking as if this was a normal conversation. It pissed Tyler off, even though whatever _this_ was it was much better than a negative reaction.

“No, I’m pansexual.” Tyler sighed in annoyance. Zack was quiet for a moment.

“You fuck pans?” Zack said, lowering his voice. Tyler kicked him.

“No you idiot! I like people for their personality and not their gender, now just don’t tell dad, _God!_ ” Tyler whined like a child and Zack rolled his eyes.

“Come on, that’s not a real thing, is it? Even _I_ look for a personality in a girl – if you’d believe that. You’re basically straight.” Zack argued. It was only yesterday that Tyler was telling himself this, but hearing it come from another person changed something.

“No I’m not. This is how I feel - how I am- and you can _never_ understand that,” Tyler said, fuming, and Zack recoiled at his sudden change in tone, “-so accept me or leave me the fuck alone.” Tyler finished, before quickly adding, “Please, just don’t tell dad.”

Zack gulped, expression finally serious for once. “Uh, yeah, your secret is safe with me Tyler. And you know you’re still my big bro, no matter who you fancy. I’d still accept you if you did fuck pans.” Zack paused for a second and pulled a face, “well maybe that’s stretching it a bit.” Tyler’s stone expression cracked and he flung himself at Zack, attempting to initiate a hug which turned out more like a tackle.

“Thanks, man.”

Tyler smiled happily into his brother’s shoulder. It felt like so far, things were going pretty good.                                                                       

* * *

 Tyler walked through the school’s corridors, eyes darting around nervously for a certain someone. He was so busy thinking about what he’d say to Josh that he didn’t realise his path was about to collide with his infamous teammates who stopped dead in their tracks to block Tyler’s passage.

“Well look who it is, Tyler fucking Joseph.” Alex said, looking him up and down. “Have a pleasant evening?” He smirked.

Tyler was about to make a snappy response when he remembered the fear he felt last night and decided to keep his mouth firmly shut.

“Thanks to you, we’ve all got detentions for the next two weeks, and we hardly think that’s fair. You little snitch.” Alex spat. Tyler frowned and dared to speak.

“How the hell is this my fault? You were the ones who vandalised my locker and stole my clothes – and by the way I would like them back please.” Tyler was proud he didn’t stutter.

“Why don’t you go searching Alum Creek Lake? I’m pretty sure that’s the last place _I_ saw them.” Tyler clenched his jaw and began searching for an escape route. He wanted this interaction to be over and done with as soon as possible. Suddenly he locked eyes with Jenna who was leaning against a locker across the corridor. She looked ready to pounce.

She strutted over confidently and wrapped an arm around Tyler’s shoulders.

“What’s up Ty? These numbnuts bothering you?” She said, looking the three up and down saltily.

“Fuck off to your girlfriend, lesbo.” Alex spat back. Jenna just smiled and titled her head at him.

“Why don’t you fuck off before I tell your buddies how you followed me around for an hour at Mikey’s party asking me to suck your dick and if you could call me _Jack._ ”

Alex’s reaction was priceless – Tyler saw his jaw hit the floor and his eyes literally _burst_ out of their sockets. Zack and Rian just shuffled uncomfortably either side of him.

“Oops!” Jenna said mockingly, putting a hand to her mouth. Tyler didn’t even have time to process how much she _kicked ass_ because she was already pulling him on his arm and whisking him away.

“You okay Tyler? I thought you used to roll with those losers.” Jenna snorted, her arm still linked with Tyler’s. Tyler just turned his head to stare at her, still in awe. She was undoubtedly the most terrifying person he’d ever met – and for all the best reasons.

“Uh, how did you know I was in trouble?” Tyler managed to stutter out. Usually when cornered by his team even teachers would just walk right past, mainly because – well – they were his team.

Jenna shrugged, “Girl code.” Tyler nodded; too scared to challenge her on that one because although he was pretty sure he was a boy, he really didn’t want to be on the wrong end of the stick with Jenna Black, especially after the stunt she just pulled.

“Oh, uh, Jenna?” Tyler said as a thought of Josh popped back into his brain.

“Yeah?”

“Um, have you seen Josh? I kinda need to talk to him.” Tyler bit his lip, wondering whether or not to confide in her opinion on the matter.

“Oh, I think he’s actually ill today.” She said making a face, “Anything I can help you with though?”

Tyler looked at the ground, all his anxieties rushing back at the thought of waiting even longer to talk to him face to face.

“Uh, now isn’t really the time-“ As if on cue, the morning bell rang.

“Well, come and meet me on the field at lunch. We can take a walk.” Jenna smiled again. Tyler felt like he could tell her anything – now he knew how Alex had felt.

“Bye Tyler.” She disconnected their arm linkage and Tyler watched her blonde hair disappear into the crowd of students filing through the halls.

Lunch it is.

* * *

 

Tyler stepped onto the grassy field, weaving tactically through the masses of students that the sunny day had brought out, trying to make a B-line for Josh’s shady corner.

Except for nearly being hit in the head with a football Tyler emerged unscathed, and Josh’s friends welcomed him into the safety of the circle. Jenna quickly stood up and grabbed Tyler’s arm once again before conjuring up a quick excuse for their absence. Due to the high capacity of the field on this fine day, they decided to walk around the school from outside the gates (once the coast was clear of teachers).

“So, Tyler, what’s bugging you?” Jenna said adjusting some sunglasses she produced out of her bag moments before.  Tyler wished he had some of his own, not for the sun, but just to look a fraction as cool as Jenna currently looked. Her hair was up in a high ponytail and she was wearing a white T-shirt with a criss-crossing tie at the front, ripped blue shorts and sandals. Tyler regretted not wearing something more summery as although he tans easily, it does nothing to stop him from feeling the heat.

“Well I’m pansexual so… that’s new.” Tyler said casually. He’d said it enough times now to become slightly more accustomed to the word, and he kind of wanted to impress Jenna.

“Oh yeah? Well, good for you Tyler.” She said, nudging him slightly with her arm.

“Uh, thanks, and um, well when I was figuring that out I was with Josh, like, he was explaining it - oh and this was last night, by the way-“

 _“Last night?”_ Jenna peered at him over the ridge of her sunglasses. “You figured out you were pansexual _last night?_ ” Her eyebrows were nearly disappearing into her hairline at this point.

“Uh, yeah I guess. Things have been changing pretty quickly since I got partnered up with Josh uh, yeah.” Tyler shrugged.

Jenna’s head flicked back in realisation, “Ohh! I see what’s going on here-“

“You do?” Tyler interrupted nervously. So much for Cool-Tyler.

“You like Josh.” She half-questioned half-stated, turning to look at Tyler. Tyler licked his lips and looked down.

“I, uh, I think so. I mean, I don’t think I would have figured out I was pansexual if it wasn’t for him – b-but I’m still not sure if I’m even completely pan, you know, I’ve only known him for like two days and I haven’t even thought about us like, properly together or anything…” Tyler trailed off, realising he had only known _Jenna_ for a little under two days, yet he was spilling thoughts to her that _even he_ hadn’t reflected upon.

Jenna stopped walking and pulled her arm out of his so she could stand and face him fully. Taking off her sunglasses, she stared him down a little.

“Tyler, you don’t need to label yourself because all it comes down to is what’s in here-“ Jenna pointed to Tyler’s chest, “-and if your head or your family or your faith tells you otherwise and _you listen to them_ , you fail as an individual because you’re not being your true self. Now I’m not saying that you have to be in love to listen to what your heart wants because your heart speaks to you all the time; letting you know about all the ‘maybe’s’ and the ‘if’s’. But if you don’t take a chance on one of those ‘if’s’, how will you ever fall in love?” Jenna seemed to get absorbed in her own speech for a second before bringing it back round to the context of Josh and Tyler. “What I’m trying to say is, if a part of you _likes_ Josh then you should just go with it, don’t think about what anyone else has to say. And if you do fall in love, then it would have all been worth it.” Jenna smiled wholesomely before putting her sunglasses on and linking arms with Tyler again. Tyler was in a stunned silence, only managing to say,

“Have you ever considered writing?”

Jenna laughed and pulled on Tyler’s arm, leading him down a grassy path behind the school.

“English _is_ my favourite subject,” she approved, “but what do you think? About Josh I mean.” Her voice going softer again. It’s hard to believe that she was the same girl who literally destroyed Alex’s will to live just a few hours earlier.

“I think I’ll take my time and ride it out.” Tyler sighed. He and Josh were barely even friends now, let alone being ready to become… boyfriends. This thought brought Tyler back to his actual current predicament. He supposed he got more than he bargained for with Jenna’s expert advice.

“Oh, er, another thing,” Tyler blurted out, “I kinda left him high and dry in Taco Bell after I freaked out about the pan thing and now he won’t answer any of my messages.” Jenna pushed the rim of her sunglasses up.

 “To be brutally honest with you-” that caught Tyler’s attention “-I think his phone is probably just switched off.” Jenna shrugged. Tyler let out an “Oh” at the anti-climax.

“Literally, he had the flu for like a week last November and everyone thought he had died. Turns out his mom confiscates his phone when he’s ill because she thinks it’ll help his ‘recovery’ or something. Josh said it drives him insane.”

Tyler breathed a sigh of relief as he felt a weight lift off his shoulders. There was still the possibility that Josh was actually ignoring him, but Tyler pushed those thoughts away.

It was too nice of day to be spent worrying over a boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for no Joshler interactions in this chapter but I assure you they're on their way!  
> I'm actually going on holiday tomorrow so I prolly wont update until I'm back on the 13th as I will be without a laptop. Never say never tho  
> Thank you all for your lovely comments as they are keeping this fic alive bc I'm a thirsty compliment junkie xxx


	7. Three Cheers For Sympathy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Tyjo has friends and insomnia  
> \- Jenna is everyone's rock  
> \- Party Party Party  
> \- Tyler and Jenna make some plans  
> \- Tyler is a Sad Poet Boy after all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise surprise, look who's come running back while she's still on holiday.  
> Sorry this chapter is a little short but it's kind of a filler before Tyler and Josh's big reunion in the next chapter. I'm gonna try n make it as cute as hell so there's always that to look forwards too ;))

The rest of the week had gone by in a flash for Tyler. He was nearing the end of the awkward in-between stage of being 'the new friend of a friend' in Josh's group. It was now Monday and Tyler's achievements so far included:  
\- Getting everyone's phone number  
\- Being invited to their group chat on Facebook  
\- Getting Facebook

Tyler was feeling pretty good about his new social upgrade - it certainly outweighed the awkward basketball practices - but the only thing Tyler was really missing was Josh.  
He had been ill for five days now and no one had heard a word from him. Tyler was worried sick to his stomach, thinking mainly of the loneliness and demotivation of being isolated in your room all day (he had been there too many times himself). To Tyler's dismay, Josh's (and now his) friends hardly batted an eyelid towards his absence.

Truth be told, Tyler was itching to see Josh again, which was confusing because Tyler thought he was only clinging onto Josh because he was lonely. Now he has all new friends and is _still_ lusting over the idea of Josh. If anything this just confirmed Tyler's petty crush. It didn't help that he had already thought up a thousand excuses to go directly to Josh's house just to see him - the most believable of which being returning his hoodie (but Tyler really didn't want to have to do that). Luckily, it was on this fine afternoon that an opportunity presented itself to Tyler with a neat little bow on top.

* * *

 

It was lunch time, and Tyler had taken to his usual spot on the grassy corner next to Jenna. He was only slightly late after having a stern talking-to by his Maths teacher for his ever-falling grades, but the conversation seemed to be getting heated already.

The most dominant voice that could be heard was Brendon (as always), who had also spotted Tyler and took it upon himself to explain the current situation without taking so much as a breath.

"Tyler! We're thinking about having a party round mine on Friday cause we've just got our pool cleaned and my parents are going to a wedding somewhere and staying over! what do you think!?" All eyes were suddenly on Tyler who was still trying to process what Brendon had just spewed out. He was too tried for this crap.

"Uh... Yeah?" Tyler said, trying to get the attention back onto Brendon. Brendon had other plans.

"Uh... Yeah?" He imitated Tyler mockingly, rolling his eyes before snapping out of it and exclaiming, "Come on Tyler! Yeah? Or YEAH!" He erupted, pounding his fists up in the air and leaving them there for a second. Tyler stared back blankly. "I wanna hear you say it Tyjo or you're uninvited," Brendon threatened unconvincingly, "3, 2, 1..."

"Yeah" Tyler said with a smidgin of enthusiasm. Brendon looked on disapprovingly, and was already preparing to go again - innocently trying to hype up the party. Luckily, he never got the chance to continue harassing Tyler because Jenna quickly stepped in.

"Alright! He did it Bren, now what're the details for this party?" Tyler sighed in relief and she gave him a knowing smile as Brendon hurried along with the party talk.  
Tyler had confided in Jenna on multiple occasions since his 'boy issues', one of them being his insomnia. Now whenever he's particularly slow or 'drippy' as his parents would say, she knows he's had a particularly bad night and swoops in to save the day. Tyler was eternally grateful for Jenna Black.

Tyler was snapped out of his thoughts of admiration at the mention of Josh's name. Speaking before thinking, Tyler blurted out "What about Josh?"

Brendon looked up and sighed at him for not paying attention. "We need someone to go tell Josh about the party."

Without skipping a beat Tyler replied, "I'll go."

A couple of people around the circle shot him odd glances that he ignored. He was beyond the point of caring about how desperate he looked, he just wanted to see Josh.

Brendon stared at Tyler for a second (which was an impressive amount of time for him) before explaining what everyone else apparently knew already by the looks on their faces.

"Uh, sorry buddy but Josh's mom is really strict about him having _guys_ over..." He trailed off, letting Tyler figure out what that meant on his own. His face fell and he felt an overwhelming urge to cry.  
It was probably just the lack of sleep that made him more vulnerable, but Jenna still fidgeted beside him, like she couldn't bare to see Tyler be let down like that.

"Uh, don't worry Brendon, I'll go with him. And I'm sure his mom works on Wednesday evenings. We could even bring him some Taco Bell or something." She regained her warm smile and leaned back to squeeze Tyler's hand.

He wondered if she mothered the whole group like this; she seemed to have an endless kindness and authority about her that everyone silently respected. Tyler was indebted to her once again and promised to return the kindness one way or another. The only issue Tyler had with her plan was that he was hoping to see Josh alone, seeming as he had some delicate subjects to go over and didn't want to instantly become a third wheel (like he did with their first interaction as a three). He couldn't couldn't really afford to be picky though, and assumed that if Jenna came too, Josh would be less likely to shout at him - like parents in front of their kids. Tyler weighed out the pros and cons, but all he could really do now was make it to Wednesday without overthinking anything. Easy peasy.

* * *

It was Tuesday night - or Wednesday morning - and Tyler had overthought _everything_.

He was lying sprawled out on top of his duvet because he kept overheating at the thought of Josh being mad at him. He had run through the thought process of every 'what if?', 'maybe' and 'no, never' a dozen times by now it was getting tiring - even for Tyler who was almost always tired.

He had his eyes firmly squeezed shut in a futile attempt to sleep, knowing that if he was tired tomorrow he'd mess everything up with Josh and that thought (ironically) kept him awake. He opened his eyes, finally giving in to his hyperactive mindset and looked over at his clock. 03:42am.

Tyler ran his hands over his face and rubbed his eyes so hard he began to see swirls behind his eyelids. He blindly reached for the lamp on his bedside table and switched it on. He winced at the sudden change in light and sat up with a hunch before delving into his top draw to retrieve a small, black, leather bound book.

Tyler really didn't seem like the type to write poetry, but then again, looks can be deceiving. Tyler also wasn't sure if you could class this as 'poetry' because it was more just odd words or phrases scribbled down, filling up page after page. Tyler only did it because he had to; he was no literary genius, that's for sure. He just happened to figure out that writing down his clustered thoughts helped him sleep better. Not so deep, right?

He unbuttoned the little flap on the side of the worn book and it practically exploded open. Tyler noted that he might have to get a new one soon. He leaned over the side of his bed and grabbed a black biro from the front zip of his school backpack and popped the lid off with his teeth.

Tyler got to work and immersed himself fully in his writing; letting the pen glide across the paper freely. In what seemed like minutes, a blank page was soon full of nonsense that only made sense to him. When his mind finally became clear enough to think rationally, he stopped and sat back - spitting out the pen lid that was now chewed to pieces and covered in saliva.

' _Whoops_ ' Tyler thought dismissively before looking at the page to reflect upon the words he'd written. It was while he was doing this that he had a stupid, fantastical idea.

' _What if I turned these into song lyrics?_ '

Tyler had spent four whole music lessons alone, pretending to have a plan and to know what he's doing. Maybe if he could get someone to sing his lyrics in a coffee shop or something he could actually sit back, relax, and not have to worry about failing the class. Although the idea absolutely terrified him, a part of him was drawn to it, and with him being alone in this moment in time with no strings attached - he thought he might as well try it.

Feeling determined, he looked down at the page.  
' _Won't you go to someone else's head?'_  
' _They will not take you down, they will not cast you out'_  
_'Don't be gone'_  
 _'My brain has given up'_  
 _'This is not what I had planned, please take my hand'_  
 _'I'm falling but I'm taking my time on the ride'_

Tyler frowned as he tried to tie the random phrases together. This was going to be a lot harder than just rhyming.

Suddenly it hit him that these were all written about his worries towards _Josh_ and his determination vanished. Inevitably he'd have to show him his lyrics at some point because they were partners in said-music class and this was Josh's project too. He can't just write a song about Josh and then _show it to him._.. could he? Tyler really felt at odds with himself as he found himself half  _wanting_ to show Josh his 'work'. He's never wanted to show anyone anything, especially since Rian stole his maths book a couple of years ago and declared the doodles at the back to be 'devil scratchings'.

It seemed stupid, but Tyler thought a simple change in friends really helped him to come out of his shell (no pun intended). He'd only been with Josh's lot for a week or so, but it's amazing how fast a bit of positivity and love can undo years of negativity. Tyler decided that maybe it was a good thing to step out of his comfort zone and try something new - which he had been doing a lot of lately and had resulted in better circumstances for himself overall. For so long basketball had been his whole life - and don't get me wrong he still adores it more than anything - but he was now finally opening his mind to new and exciting things that he could just  _enjoy_ for the sake of enjoyment. No scholarship attached.

For now though, Tyler's eyelids were dragging him down and it was evident that his writing therapy was working. He packed up his little book and drowsily threw it into his backpack - thoughts of showing it to Josh still lingering in his brain. His last thought was that he hoped Josh would like it, then he was taken by sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all these song lyrics are supposed to be mishmashed and wrong cause it's early stages and Tyjo ain't supposed to be good at writing... Yet


	8. Alright, Still

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday SmolBeanAcilegna!!!
> 
> -Tyler climbs shit  
> -JOSHLER  
> -Josh likes makeup   
> -THEY START THE BAND

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladies and Gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for

"What if he doesn't answer"

"Go round the back, the key is under the mat"

"What if he hates me"

"Explain your side of the story and he'll listen"

"What if he's on his deathbed"

"Call an ambulance - Tyler? Can you just ring the fucking doorbell?"

Tyler was standing outside looking up at Josh's house as if it was about to swallow him whole. Jenna was a step behind him with a death grip on his left shoulder.

"Jenna, please, I can't do this alone and I look like crap," Tyler pleaded. Jenna's grip loosened slightly.

Earlier she had revealed that she wasn't going to rain on Tyler's parade by joining him and Josh, she only said that to get Brendon off of his back. She also offered to walk him to Josh's house because it was on the way to her own, but the main reason she came along was to stop Tyler from backing out.

"Tyler you look fine," she said while raising a hand to spike up his hair, "-and it's not like you're the one who's been cooped up in his room for five days and probably hasn't had so much as a shower." She paused and raised her eyebrow at Tyler. She was right, he was being selfish.

"Are you sure I don't need flowers or-or a card or anything?" Tyler continued, voicing his thoughts nervously.

"Ty," she said softly while soothing down his shirt. "He isn't dying, this isn't a date, and Taco Bell basically equates to flowers in his eyes - trust me." Jenna shoved Tyler the bag containing his peace offering before pulling a face.

"Sorry."

"For wh-"

Jenna sidestepped past Tyler and jabbed the doorbell.

"You'll thank me later!" She called as she ran down Josh's drive and tried to slide over the bonnet of a car parked next to the sidewalk. Tyler could only stare, dumbfounded, as she scooted painfully across the silver car's front - only making it to the middle before she slid off and dropped onto the floor, scurrying to hide behind the other side. She peeked over the top and gave Tyler a thumbs up.

Tyler glared back for a split second before returning his attention to Josh's door. Tyler gulped, hearing no movement from inside. Maybe Josh _was_ bedridden. After a solid minute had passed he snuck a look back at Jenna's hiding spot. She only had the top half of her head visible behind the roof of the car and was remaining unnaturally still. Tyler shrugged at her, gesturing towards the door. Jenna narrowed her eyes and straightened up, confidently pointing a finger towards the side of Josh's house while mouthing 'go round the back'. Tyler nodded and hesitantly walked around the corner to be faced with a high wooden door and fence. A smile pulled at his lips as he dropped the Taco Bell bag and quickly scanned for the best route to climb. He put his foot in a groove on the brick wall beside him and wrapped a hand around a drainpipe. He was about to heave himself up when he heard Jenna whisper-shout.

"TYLER!"

He turned around to see her making the motion of unlocking a door. 'Try it', she mouthed. Tyler sighed and leaned forwards to twist the rusty metal hoop. To his surprise, it swung right open.

"Huh." Tyler said quietly, impressed.

Jenna smirked triumphantly before waving her hands and shooing Tyler to venture into Josh's backyard.

He tip-toed silently down the concrete lined alleyway and stepped to the left onto Josh's patio. He had his back pressed against the red brick of the house and was now looking out into the backyard.

It was quite a large area and the grass was neatly kept. There was a small old looking red swing set in the far corner surrounded by some flower pots (probably to make the rusty apparatus look more presentable). In the opposite  
corner stood a quaint looking wooden shed. Various bushes, trees, and brightly coloured flowers littered the flower beds in front of the rectangular shaped fence surrounding the garden. The patio Tyler was standing on had a matching set of black furniture and a glass table in front of the back door.

Tyler made a B-line for the door and quickly swiped under the doormat.

No key.

Tyler looked up at the house again in defeat, ready to return to Jenna when he heard a slight noise. He frowned and tilted his head to get a better reading on where it was coming from. It sounded like someone was repeatably banging on something. Tyler's eyes widened as his mind unwillingly conjured up images of Josh choking or dying and banging against the walls for help. He paced along the patio and sought that the noise was coming from a room on the second floor on the right side of the house. Luckily, the window to this room had a sturdy looking vine crawling up the side of it and Tyler wasted no time on scouring it. His long, nimble fingers grabbed branch after branch and soon he was faced with his own panicked expression in the window's reflection. He was about to see if he could pry the window open himself when he caught a glimpse of movement from inside.

Josh was sitting directly opposite Tyler. He was half naked, had his eyes closed, and was bouncing up and down on a stool _playing the drums._

Even through the murky window Tyler could see the sweat glistening off Josh's body and how his muscles moved under his tight skin. It was his face, though, that got Tyler. The way he had his jaw slightly clenched and eyelids shut relaxingly while his head bobbed and lolled in contrast to the hard movements of his hands; it was enough to make Tyler flush bright red. Josh, blissfully unaware, twirled a stick around and quickened the tempo. Tyler suddenly became aware that he could feel the beat vibrate through the wall, and would've acknowledged how good it was sounding had he not felt a heat start to pool in his stomach and _other places_.

Tyler internally _screamed_ at himself for getting an awkward boner three metres in the air while watching someone _through a window_ doing something completely non-sexual. He felt pure terror as the thought briefly crossed his mind that this was the first time he'd ever gotten hard over a _guy_ and nearly lost his footing right there and then. The drumming had stopped, but Tyler didn't notice.

"Tyler!?" Josh was now standing at the window and had shouted loud enough to make Tyler jump out of his skin and loose that footing he was so dearly relying upon.

' _Fuck_ '

Tyler's leg stretched out beneath him and the arm clutching the vine dropped down a few branches, badly scraping the palm of his right hand. Tyler hissed and his left had flew up from the window pane to grab the vine also, trying to steady himself and take the weight off of his now bleeding right hand. By now Josh was halfway out of the window and shouting desperately at Tyler.

"TYLER GRAB MY HAND"

Tyler's head shot up and reached for the equally panicked boy just as a loud snap was heard. Tyler's eyes widened and he gasped as the vine began to wobble away from the wall. He was almost flung out of reach from Josh when the vine started to tilt backwards teasingly. Tyler let out a shriek and went retrieve his hand to stop him from falling but Josh had already clasped onto it and was pulling him away from the shuddering plant with brute force. Tyler was now suspended completely in the air like a fish on the end of a fishing rod - Josh being the only thing between him and the hard concrete below.

"JOSH" Tyler shouted desperately and threw his other arm up to grab Josh's bicep. Tyler's stubby fingernails dug painfully into his arm as they both pulled, slowly retreating back into Josh's room.

Tyler's legs scrambled around as Josh moved his arms to Tyler's armpits and pulled the rest of him through the window. Tyler landed on his back with an 'oof', relieved to feel Josh's soft, solid, and carpeted floor beneath him.

The two lay there panting and shaking side by side for a couple of minutes, letting what just occurred soak in. Tyler wished they could just stay like that forever, but in the end Josh's voice sliced through the silence.

"What the fuck Tyler."

Tyler winced and decided that this was his cue to start explaining everything (literally). He took a shaky breath.

"I'm really sorry for leaving you at Taco Bell and for stealing your hoodie but I was figuring out some things that I don't even know if I can tell you right now and I don't know why because I've told other people and it hasn't been a problem and I know you won't see me any differently but you're opinion matters a lot to me even though I hardly know you and I was gonna climb through your window because I thought you were in trouble but you were just sweaty and drumming and I watched you for a bit and I really wanna stop talking now so can you say something." Tyler stopped abruptly and put his hands over his face. That was the shittiest explanation he's ever heard.

Josh was silent for a second.

"I'm not really ill."

Tyler shot a glance at the other boy who was looking up at the ceiling with a blank expression.

"After you left me like that it triggered my anxiety really badly and I didn't wanna go back to school for a while." Josh said simply.

Tyler gulped, feeling his heart drop. So Josh _was_ mad at him and this was all _his_ fault.

"Fuck, I'm-I'm really sorry Josh I had no idea..." Tyler mentally slapped himself. _'Is that all you can say!?'_

"No, uh, don't worry I should've told you." Josh mumbled in a way that sounded like he wasn't quite believing in what he was saying.

The two sat in silence for a moment which felt like an eternity to Tyler. He really needed to make up his mind on whether he wanted silence or not. Tyler turned his head to face Josh, the carpet tickling his right ear.

"I'm pansexual." Tyler tried to say confidently but it came out as no more than a whisper. The only reaction Tyler could decipher from Josh was his bottom lip being sucked in between his teeth slightly. When no response came, Tyler looked up at the ceiling and spoke again.

"Can you please say something that makes what I just said sound a little less daunting."

For the first time Josh turned to look at him. "I wanna be a drummer. I wanna be in a real band that sells out shows and I wanna have my CDs in every record store."

Tyler was taken aback for a second. Josh's expression was unreadable. _'Is this a joke?'_ Tyler thought, debating on whether to laugh or not. Josh's eyes darted down after the pause became slightly too long, showing a hint of embarrassment.

 _'Not a joke - no laughing.'_ Tyler noted, continuing the conversation delicately.

"I have a basketball scholarship lined up but I don't know if I wanna do it. I don't know if I wanna do anything."

A smile warmed Josh's face and the two laughed. They didn't know why, as they had both just vocalised daunting thoughts that had been lying in the backs of their brains for however long. Maybe it felt good to let it out, or maybe they were glad they weren't alone anymore.

This is how the two boys ended up lying on Josh's floor exchanging secrets and facts about themselves as if there had never been any bad blood between them at all. The conversation seemed to flow easier and easier as the two continued - the outside world melting away as they chatted like old friends.

"I like wearing makeup" Josh grinned, pinching the bridge of his nose a little but not letting any embarrassment seep into his tone.

"What, really?" Tyler said, now lying on his side.

"Yeah I have a kit and everything. Wanna see?" Josh smiled excitedly looking back at Tyler.

"Yeah sure man!" Tyler said positively, bouncing Josh's tone back at him. 

At this point, nothing was off the table. They had promised to keep a total open mind and it seemed that the pressures of the real world had just vanished. They felt like they were the only two people on Earth.

Josh sat up and crawled over to his bed. Reaching under the wooden frame, he pulled out a Nike shoebox. Tyler followed curiously and sat cross legged beside Josh. Gently, Josh opened the box to reveal a brightly coloured jumble of eyeshadow pallets and nail varnishes. Tyler couldn't stop himself from reaching towards the box but stopped himself and looked at Josh for permission. Josh gave him a nod of approval and Tyler returned his attention back to the contents of the box like a child in a sandbox full of toys.

"Where'd you get all this stuff?" Tyler said in awe as he opened a pallet and dragged a finger lightly across a bright shade of orange eyeshadow. It glistened on his fingertip when he tilted it towards the light. Tyler thought it was pretty.

"I steal them from my sister, mainly," Josh chuckled. Tyler looked up seriously for a second.

"Stealing is a sin Joshua Dun."

"Whaat? Dude, she has so many and she doesn't even use half of them!" Josh whined in denial.

"I'm joking man, I'm joking," Tyler laughed, pulling out a red nail varnish. "I like this colour." he said, inspecting the little glass bottle.

Josh bit his lip. "I could put it on you, if you'd like?" He asked hesitantly.

Tyler stayed silent for a second, about to think of what would happen if his father saw. He shook his head and stopped himself from thinking of anything outside the little bubble he and Josh had created.

"Go for it." He grinned, chucking the bottle at Josh.

"I'll have to take it off before I go though..." Tyler said quietly, not wanting to kill the mood. Josh started shaking the bottle, brows furrowed.

"Why don't you just, uh, crash here? My mum works a night shift so you'll only have to worry about my siblings. She gets back after I leave for school in the morning." Josh said, trying to convince Tyler the best he could without sounding desperate.

Tyler grinned (not needing any convincing at all), "Okay dude, let me just call my mom. I'll tell her it's about the project."

Tyler whipped out his phone from his back pocket and quickly dialled her number. Josh sat back and looked through his nail varnishes, picking a few out for himself.

"Hey mom it's me."

"Tyler? Are you okay sweetie? Did you make it to Josh's?" His mother's voice poured out of the phone and Tyler sighed happily. He had told her he was going round Josh's for a couple of hours and obviously she went straight to 'use protection'. Tyler had assured her that they were - in fact - working on the project and so far she had taken his word on it.

"Yeah, yeah I'm at Josh's and everything's fine, we're actually, uh, getting on really well with this project thing and I wondered if I could crash at his tonight so we could work on it some more?" Tyler bit his lip. This sounded a lot shadier once he had said it. His mom was silent for a second.

"Tyler I don't think that's a good idea."

Tyler racked his brains and started looking around the room inspiration. He really should've thought up a plan before he called her. Tyler's eyes suddenly landed on Josh's drum kit.

"Uh but Josh can play the drums and, uh, we're thinking about starting a band mom! It's going really well!" Tyler locked eyes with Josh and pointed towards the drum kit repeatedly. Josh scrambled up and slid onto the stool with ease. He picked up his sticks and started thumping the kick drum.

"Here mom, he's really good, and uh, I'm gonna sing" Tyler shouted down the phone, making things up off of the top of his head just to keep his mother from talking.

"Ty- Tyler you can't - could you just get Josh to stop for _one second_ please!" His mom shouted sternly down the phone. Tyler put his hand up and Josh stopped abruptly.

"Tyler you can't sing and a two piece band never works, you've obviously made this up. Can you just come home, please? Before your father starts asking questions?" She sounded tired.

Tyler bit his lip, refusing to admit defeat just because she mentioned his dad. He motioned at Josh to start playing again and he ran across the room to rummage through his backpack. Josh frowned, confused, but kept playing nonetheless. Tyler straightened up and shouted down the phone.

"Mom it's gonna work and we've been practicing for ages! Listen-"

Tyler revealed his little black book and started flicking through the pages. _'Shit, what have I gotten myself into,'_ he thought as he landed on last night's page.

"Won't you stay alive, I'll take you on a ride  
I will make you believe you are lovely, uh-"

Tyler was wracking his brains and flicking through the pages of his book for more lyrics. In a frenzy he dropped it and watched in horror as it slid under a chest of drawers. Tyler looked up at Josh for help but he just continued bouncing with the widest grin on his face and nodded at Tyler to carry on. He did a little drum solo to give Tyler time to think and changed the tempo up to something slower. Nervously Tyler stood facing Josh with his phone outstretched in between them.

"W-We are now just setting sail on the seas of what we fear  
Treason now is growing near to me

I'm coming clean, God hit me straight on, God hit me straight on."

Josh stopped and Tyler blushed; both boys looked down at Tyler's phone.

"Honey, that was pretty good! I'm glad you're actually taking your studies seriously!" She paused for a second and the boys looked up at one another.

"Alright you can stay, but you need to-"

"Okayalrighmomloveyoubye!" Tyler called down the phone and pressed a little red button to end the call.

"Phew, well, uh, that was something." Tyler breathed wide eyed at Josh.

Josh just grinned back. "What the heck was that man? That was amazing!"

"Oh, uh, really? It was just some stuff I wrote- like when I can't sleep and stuff. I don't really know why I brought it." Tyler grumbled, shuffling his socks along the carpet and getting down on his hands and knees to retrieve the battered book.

Josh stood up and crawled through his drum kit over to Tyler and wrapped him in a big hug. Tyler choked in surprise, partly because Josh was strong as hell and partly because he was still topless. Josh grabbed his shoulders and pulled himself out of the hug so he could look at Tyler. He cleared his throat.

"Tyler Joseph, my broseph, do you wanna start a band with me?"

Tyler blinked, taken aback. That was the least of what he expected to come out of Josh's mouth just then.

"Uh, sure? I um. I don't know anything about music I just, I just write lyrics." He managed to stutter out, not wanting to let Josh down. Josh let go of his shoulders with an unconvinced look on his face.

"Tyler your singing voice is amazing, I mean, it's a bit weird but like, good weird - you know?" Josh tried explaining.

"Thanks...?" Tyler said, not knowing if that was a compliment or not. "But like, I can't just sing over you playing drums - that'd never work. We need more people."

Josh's smiled faltered slightly and Tyler felt like he had just stepped on a puppy.

"Well, I don't know if you've noticed but my friends and I are a pretty musical bunch." Josh joked, thinking back to the 'This Is Halloween' incident. "I'm sure we can get some of them to fill in instruments for us?"

Josh sounded so hopeful that Tyler just couldn't say no. The idea of singing in front of _anyone_ frightened Tyler. The idea of people hearing his _lyrics_ frightened Tyler. The idea of being a _frontman_ frightened Tyler. Anything to do with musical performance _scared Tyler out of his wits_ \- but, of course, he agreed because he didn't want to let Josh down. Not because he fancied him a bit - no, Tyler wasn't as shallow as that - but because Josh had shared his dream with him and Tyler couldn't just stomp his flame out like that. This was Josh's dream, and obviously they wouldn't become famous because this was just a music class project, but maybe it'd give Josh a taste of what he wants to do for the rest of his life. Tyler wanted him to be happy.

"Yeah, let's do it" Tyler grinned.

Josh's face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning and he pulled Tyler into another constricting (but heartfelt) hug. This time Tyler slowly moved his hands up to Josh's back and placed them there. He curled his fingers slightly against Josh's soft skin and relaxed into the hug. Too soon it was over, and Josh was walking back towards his makeup-shoebox.

"Anyone for a celebratory makeover?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure whether to carry on the next chapter from this point or start on a new day cause I swear I can write like 5 chapters on one day if I try hard enough. 
> 
> Y'all wanna see Tyjo wear nail varnish? Son, I know what I'm about.


	9. Broken Boys From Broken Homes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Tyler gets made up xx  
> \- They hate on their dads  
> \- Poor Josh  
> \- Therapy Poetry Mashup  
> \- Best Frens  
> \- Tickle Town  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Josh has an anxiety attack in this chapter :(
> 
> I'm back off holiday ya'll get ready for the #gay
> 
> Also the pallet I was using as inspiration in this chapter is Electric by Urban Decay if anyone was wondering probs not ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

“What do you think? Red or purple?”

Josh slid a vibrant looking eyeshadow pallet along the carpeted floor towards Tyler and pointed out the two adjacent colours. Tyler turned from where he was sitting and pulled up a knee to rest his chin upon before flicking his eyes between the two shades in unnecessary concentration.

The day had soon turned to night and the boys were still sitting on Josh’s floor surrounded by makeup and Taco Bell wrappers. Not what Tyler had in mind when he turned up at Josh’s house today, but he hadn’t expected to nearly fall to his death or start a band either. _‘There’s a first for everything’_ he thought as he looked back up at Josh.

“Red definitely. Compliments your eyes.” Tyler said simply, lowering his knee and hunching over to inspect the other colours.

“Oh yeah? You like red, don’t you.” Josh laughed, letting go of the pallet that Tyler was obviously invested in and reaching to grab the two nail varnishes the boys had picked out earlier. Josh had gone for a neon pink (to match his hair) and Tyler had gone for a dull blood red.

Tyler shrugged. “I hadn’t really thought about it. I mean, why do you like all the neon colours?”

Josh returned Tyler’s shrug and started shaking the bottles. “I’d like to stand out, uh, if I ever wore it outside. Chosen a shade yet?” Josh leaned towards Tyler, propping himself up on his right arm and looking down at the electric pallet. Tyler made a noise that suggested he hadn’t and Josh narrowed his eyes.

“I think this would look good on you.” He said, pointing at a dark teal shade.

“Y-you think?” Tyler beamed, quickly taking a swatch and rubbing it off on his wrist. It was a pretty colour that sparkled hints of gold when it hit the light. It reminded Tyler of a creek he used to visit. He looked up to find Josh suspiciously close to his face and as a natural reaction he leaned back, making several unfortunate chins appear. “Uhh-”

“Yeah, you’ve got that tan olive skin. It’ll look dope.” Josh grinned, not moving away and still inspecting Tyler’s face.

“Dope?” Tyler mumbled with a faint smile, secretly hoping Josh wouldn’t be able to smell his Taco Bell after-taste breath, “no one says that anymore dude. Are you a skater boy or a punk?”

“I’m whatever I like, baby boy.” Josh purred, jokingly batting his eyelashes.

Tyler let out a quick, short breath that was supposed to sound like a laugh and then let his eyes sub-consciously flick down to Josh’s lips.  _‘Fuck.’_  He thought, feeling a burn start to spread in his cheeks. Tyler shoved the pallet in Josh’s face to divert his attention.

“Yeah I’ll have that one.”

Josh blinked and took the pallet slowly. Tyler retrieved his hand and followed it with his eyes as he placed it alongside the other in his lap, trying desperately to hide his blush.

“Ookay, so uh, do you wanna do it or…?” Josh asked, grabbing a brush from a pot he had arranged earlier.

“Uhh I dunno. You know more about makeup than me so go ahead. Make me pretty.” Tyler joked half-heartedly, trying to mask his nervousness. Josh chuckled and inched closer.

“Okay beauty queen but next time you’re doing mine. Proper sleepover-makeover style.”

Tyler nodded and pursed his lips to hide a smile at the mention of 'next time’. Suddenly makeup was one of his favourite past times.

“Right, uh, first you gotta put primer on so it doesn’t go all gross in your creases. N-not that you have creases, like, where your eyelids end.” Josh rambled, rummaging carelessly through his makeup box to retrieve a small purple tube. Tyler watched as he unscrewed it and squirted some pasty looking cream onto his finger.

“Oh, uh, sorry if this isn’t your shade. I’m pale as hell.” Josh explained as he rubbed his fingers together, spreading the substance out evenly.

“So uh, close your eyes. Please.” He hesitated.

Tyler nodded and obliged but his eyelids twitched in unrest as he listened to Josh’s clothes shuffle closer. He flinched out of habit as he felt Josh’s warm fingers lightly spread the primer on this eyelids. Tyler snuck a look out of his right eye once he thought he was done but instead nearly got a finger to the pupil.

“Tyler you gotta stop flinching,” Josh rolled his eyes, “we won’t get anywhere at this rate.”

“Sorry.” Tyler mumbled as Josh picked up the pallet. His eyelids felt heavy but smooth as he blinked and he wasn’t sure if he liked it or not.

“Closem’ please.” Josh hummed and Tyler was flung into darkness again. He felt Josh place a hand on his shoulder and another lightly on his left cheek bone. He felt hot and sweaty having Josh at this close proximity, and made his situation inevitably worse by deciding to hold his breath.

Tyler felt Josh’s finger fall across his brow bone as the brush lightly touched the mid-top of his eyelid. He was really quite surprised at how gentle the muscular drummer was as he dusted sparingly along his skin. It was relaxing (despite not breathing) and Tyler wondered if this was how it felt to be a canvas in the process of being turned into art. Makeup was pretty neat.

Once Josh had paused for long enough, Tyler let out the breath he was holding as inconspicuously as he could. He winked an eye open to find Josh sitting with his legs spread out either side of Tyler in a star-jump-like way, looking down and brushing furiously at the pallet. His bottom lip was tucked neatly behind his top, and it looked like he was chewing on it generously. It popped out suddenly, pink and raw and Josh met his gaze for a split second before he shut his eyes tightly again. _'Fuck fuck fuck FUCK’_ , Tyler thought as he replayed the former images a thousand times on a loop in his mind. _'You need to stop Tyler you need to stop-’_ He repeatedly scolded himself and recoiled as he felt the brush on his other eyelid again.

“Sorry-sorry.” He rushed and rid his face of all expression (as well as thoughts), inviting Josh to continue. Tyler gulped as he felt Josh’s hand rest on his cheekbone once more - trying really hard to keep his mind PG.

As the brush danced along his eyelid, Tyler felt Josh breathe a soft, warm breath that graced his cheek and chin and Tyler unwittingly opened his nasal canal up to the scent. Taco Bell, cigarettes, toothpaste, wetness. _'Fuck, Tyler, you are nasty,’_ He thought as he held the breath. This was borderline stalker-ish, what was he gonna do next? Steal some of Josh’s hair and put it in a heart locket to wear round his neck?

Tyler had gotten 'addicted’ to many (non-life threatening) things in his past like video games and ranch dressing - but never did he think he’d become addicted to a _person_ and he hated himself for it. He knew he was falling and did absolutely nothing to prevent it. The worst part of it all was that he felt like he was falling further and further as mere minutes went by, yet he had left Josh in the dust at the starting mark. He wanted to fall with Josh - as an equal. Tyler couldn’t even bring himself to think the word _'love’_ because people don’t just fall in love with the click of a finger and a bat of eyelashes. He was pansexual for God’s-sake; couldn’t he wait at least a week to get to know the guy before he started planning their wedding.

“All done!” Josh chirped, pulling his hand away from Tyler; happy tone contrasting against the doubtful thoughts bouncing around in Tyler’s brain.

“Hah - Done, Dun. Get it? Josh Dun.” Tyler giggled as his eyelids fluttered open, suddenly all fine and dandy in the presence of his crush.

“Har har,” Josh said, unamused, “do you know how many times I hear that kind of joke a day? It’s ridiculous.” Tyler snorted at the underlying hints of genuine sadness in Josh’s voice. He was a terrible person.

“Okay uh, I don’t have a hand mirror so I guess we’ll just go to the bathroom.” Josh thought out loud as he got up off the floor and strode over to his poster infested door. Suddenly it occurred to Tyler that there was a world outside of Josh’s room.

Josh lead Tyler down a long dark hallway, light spilling from the frames of other doors along the way that Tyler assumed belonged to Josh’s siblings. They stopped at a white-painted door just before the wooden staircase. Josh gently turned the knob and felt around for the light switch. The room was suddenly flooded with artificial light and Tyler took a second to let his eyes adjust.

Tyler saw two darkened figures in a large mirror above the sink and quickly recognised them as himself and Josh. He took a step into the bright room so he could see himself properly.

“Voila.” Josh said proudly, holding the door open and motioning for Tyler to go further into the heavily tiled white room.

Tyler inched in and placed his hands on the marbled sink in front of the mirror. His eyes were amazing. The teal looked like it was spread thickly across his eyes but Tyler could hardly feel it at all. It blended out naturally, peaking just over his eyelids and feathering out around his bottom lashes making his eyes look bigger than they were. Tyler closed one eye and brought a hand up to touch delicately around the colour.

“This is amazing Josh! I look emo but like – emo and _pretty_.” Tyler felt dumb and glanced through the mirror over his shoulder at Josh for some kind of reaction. Josh was leaning against the door, trying to stifle a proud smile.

“Is that good or bad?” Josh questioned even though he knew the answer would be the foremost. Tyler looked back into the mirror and smiled sheepishly.

“I’ve never felt pretty before.”

The answer seemed to take Josh aback slightly as his lips parted. Tyler’s eyes flicked back at him and he pretended to ignore the blush on Josh’s face.

“That’s-that’s good. I like feeling pretty.” Tyler admitted quietly. It was nice not being beaten down for being feminine.

“My dad wants me to be all masculine.” Tyler announced, staring back into the mirror intensely as his voice took on a hard tone. To anyone else it would’ve looked like Tyler was talking to himself, but Josh knew that it's hard to reveal these insecurities to anyone but yourself.

“He thinks I have a girly voice, a-and that I’m too skinny, and I, uh, cry too much for a boy. He always compares me to my brother who’s fifteen and _already_ has a six pack and I’m tired of trying to be something I’m not. I can’t help being emotional.” Tyler looked down and balled his fists lightly against the sink. “I hate him, sometimes.”

“I hate my dad too.” Josh replied in the same solemn tone. Tyler spun around, surprised at Josh’s response. “He left, uh, when I went up to high school. No note, no nothing. A year later we found out he was having an affair and had moved to Florida for this lady. My mum’s had to support and raise four kids by herself. She’s got a pretty well-paying job but has to work long hours for us to keep this house and I really, really hate him for leaving - for leaving her, mostly.”

Josh had folded his arms and was looking at the floor. Tyler didn’t really know what to say; that certainty blew his daddy issues out of the water.

“I’m sorry, Josh. Your mum sounds like an amazing woman and she didn’t deserve any of that - you didn’t deserve any of that.” Tyler said carefully.

“Yeah, well, she actually wants me out of the house as soon as possible so I suppose my bad luck with family doesn’t end there.” Josh snapped.

Tyler didn’t say anything but the silence prompted Josh to continue his bitter rant. 

“I’ve got anxiety, I smoke in her house, I’ve got piercings, I dye my hair, I can’t land a job, I’ve got dyslexia, I’m failing school, my dream is to be in a band, my friends don’t care about me, my mum says I remind her ofmydeadbeatdad and-”

Tyler watched in horror as the drummer’s uncaring tone wavered and his face contorted heart-wrenchingly, tears beginning to brim along his waterline.

“No no no, Josh, calm down.” Tyler started as he realised what was happening and rushed to Josh’s side. A single, silent tear fell down Josh’s cheek followed by another and another as he clenched his jaw and held his breath.

“Josh what’re you doing? you need to breathe or you’ll pass out!” Tyler exclaimed, searching Josh’s pained but blank expression. _'Is he having an anxiety attack? Why is he holding his breath?’_ Tyler’s mind raced as he tried to think of what to do in this situation. Josh was now grinding his teeth slowly as his brain was being deprived of oxygen. He was glued to the spot and couldn’t think straight. All he knew was that he didn’t want Tyler to see him cry. So he held his breath.

“Josh! Please!” Tyler lightly shook Josh’s shoulders but the other boy just squeezed his eyes shut. Josh was seeing swirls behind his eyelids. Tyler suddenly had a flashback to when he was locked in the school showers and quickly grabbed Josh’s hand, mimicking what the other boy had done with him when he was inconsolable.

“Uhh, Uh, Josh listen to me, it’s okay to cry you’ll feel better afterwards uh, or um, do you want me to talk about something else? Please uh, anything to make you breathe, please!” Tyler rambled, thinking out loud and wracking his brain for something to calm the trembling boy down. “Uh, oh Josh! I um I wrote a poem about y-you, but you’ve got to breathe or-or I won’t show it to you!”

Tyler had no idea what he was doing but he must've said something right because Josh’s eyes opened, glazed and blurry, and he took a deep shaky breath, and another, and another until he could think semi-straight.

“Th-that’s good Josh, keep doing that, uh, let’s go back to your room.” Tyler rushed, placing a hand on Josh’s back and guiding him out of the doorway. Josh shuffled slowly, still taking painfully deep breaths and Tyler matched his pace carefully. The noises Josh was making were worrying (to say the least) and Tyler was all kinds of confused. He’d never experienced or dealt with anything like this before and he half-expected Josh to just drop down dead. Suddenly an idea popped into his head as he looked down at the light-lined doorways they were passing.

“Josh, do you want me to get one of your siblings? Or, uh, call your mom?”

Josh froze and his breathing hitched as he quickly shook his head. Tyler gulped, deciding not to press anymore and continued on until they were at the end of the seemingly never-ending hallway. Tyler reached for the doorknob and awkwardly shuffled backwards into Josh’s room, holding up the other boy with his right arm. They moved across the messy room, Tyler dodging most of the obstacles spread out on the floor and Josh just trudging through them as if they weren’t even there. Tyler bit his lip as he heard a pallet crack under Josh’s foot, but the other boy seemed unfazed. Finally Tyler was able to off-lift Josh who collapsed onto the bed and curled up into the foetal position. His breathing was still deep and broken but it no longer sounded like grunts of pain which was good. Tyler sat on the edge of the bed and chewed on a nail nervously, wondering what else he could do. Josh stirred a little.

“I did it.” Josh mumbled.

“What?” Tyler said, perking up and looking at the dishevelled boy.

“I breathed. Read me poetry.” Josh said, slowly stringing the words together.

“O-oh, right.” Tyler said, scrambling up off the bed. Poetry was a _really_ strong word for the phrases Tyler had written last night, but maybe he could fill in some gaps and hopefully make it sound less lovey-dovey. Tyler wanted to think that he was afraid of making Josh uncomfortable in this fragile state, but really he was afraid of driving Josh away with his weird antics.  _'Stop being selfish and read the damn trash.'_ Tyler prompted himself as positively as he could.

Tyler grabbed the little book from the top of his bag and flicked to the infamous ‘Josh’ page. He took a few uneven steps to the middle of the room and looked over at the shuddering boy. Luckily he could only see a tuft of Josh’s pink hair because Tyler didn’t know if he could read this out-loud to his face. It was also concerning that only thought pushing him to speak was -  _'Just go for it. We're all gonna die anyway.'_   - but I suppose that's all the reasoning he needed because Tyler then cleared his throat and let his croaky voice fill the room.

 

Sometimes I wonder what's inside your mind

And if there's anything to find

I hope that you awake someday

And see that life with me is okay

 

Who would you live for? 

Who would you die for?

Would you ever kill?

 

You walk around like you are fine

So confident and so right

And if I let you know I'm here

Will you save me?

 

I'm falling, I'm falling

But I'm taking my time on my ride

 

I will laugh away all the pain

did you know I'd play all day

Just to maybe hear you say 

That you are falling too

 

Won't you go to someone else's head?

Won't you go to someone else's dreams?

I want to know what's under your hair

I want to know what's beneath your skull

But I don't really care what's in your hair

I just want to know what's on your mind

I used to say I want to die before I'm old

But because you you I might think twice."

 

Tyler let his hands and the book fall limply at his sides and he rolled back on his heels slightly, waiting for a response from Josh. _‘I said too much – you didn’t have to say all that – he’s going to think you’re weird – he won’t want you staying the night – make up an excuse – get out of here –‘_ Tyler’s mind swirled with thoughts but he was still aware that Josh hadn’t said anything yet. His eyes narrowed at the still body in front of him, and all the voices in his head suddenly filtered into one, single thought, _‘Is this motherfucker asleep!?’_

Tyler walked up to the bed and peered over a very still Josh with a frown on his face. _‘I can’t believe this; my poetry actually sent him to sleep.’_ Tyler circled around the bed slowly until he could see Josh’s face, then Tyler’s frown instantly dissipated as he saw the other boy was puffy faced and silently crying again.

“J-Josh?” Tyler choked out, the scene pulling at his own heart-strings. He vaguely remembered thinking _‘'I can't believe my poetry made Josh cry’_ before the other boy began to stir. Tyler leaned back and sat on the edge of the bed, giving Josh some space as he slowly sat up.

“Josh?” Tyler repeated, quieter now. Josh looked away and sniffled, wiping his eyes with the back of a hand. Tyler slowly reached out to him and placed a hand on his back. “It’s okay Josh. We’ve both seen each other cry now so I guess we get extra friendship points for that.”

Josh’s back muscles jittered under Tyler’s palm in an attempt at a laugh. Tyler smiled weakly but then made a sudden noise of surprise as Josh spun around and tackled him into a hug. Josh was kind of sticky from either sweat or tears or both – but Tyler didn’t care. He tucked his head and smiled into Josh’s shoulder. Josh moved slightly and Tyler could feel his hot breath in his ear.

“I’m really glad you showed me that, Ty. I want to know what’s on your mind too.”  Josh sniffled and pulled back. Both boys smiled shyly at each other for a second before letting out a small laugh. Tyler felt tears start to form in his eyes and he quickly got up off the bed.

“No you don’t, not now!” Tyler exclaimed, fanning his eyes dramatically and pacing in front of the bed. “Look what you did Joshua!”

Josh laughed and put his hands up in defence, “Hey I wasn’t the one reading out sappy poetry! That was the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me so gimme a break.”

Tyler stopped fanning and folded his arms loosely against his body. “Well I guess this means that I’m the bestest friend in the world, right?”

Josh nodded and grinned, “Bestest friend and bestest bandmate.”

Tyler raised an eyebrow cheekily, feeding his ego. He placed his hands behind his back and slowly paced in front of the bed again. “Too bad I only have a bestest bandmate.”

 “Tyler you’re out of the band.” Josh deadpanned. Tyler instantly broke character.

“What!? I was joking Josh! I-“

“Say it, broseph.” Josh smirked, folding his arms as well. All sadness was gone from his voice and the only remaining evidence that he had been crying was the redness around his eyes and nose. Tyler straighten up, trying to salvage his pride.

“Joshua William Dun, you have been promoted from friend to bestest friend and bandmate. Congratulations!” Tyler acted and stuck a hand out for Josh to shake. Josh glanced at it then back up at Tyler with a devilish grin on his face as he yanked the hand and pulled Tyler onto the bed. Tyler squealed and rolled over as Josh started tickling him.

“N- No yo-u don’t!” Tyler managed to get out in-between breathy laughs, and jabbed Josh in the ribs.

“Hey-“Josh hesitated and Tyler took the opportunity to wriggle out of Josh’s grasp and push him onto the mattress, tickling his rips.

“TYLE-R STOP!” Josh exclaimed, but Tyler just sped up the pace.

“What’s the safe word baby boy?” Tyler grinned with a crazed look in his eye, reusing Josh’s nickname for him.

“GO F-UCK YOURSELF!” Josh surged, reaching for Tyler’s shoulders but Tyler quickly grabbed his wrists and pinned them down either side of his head. After a few seconds of struggling Josh finally gave up, chest heaving and red-faced. Tyler was also red-faced but for another reason. A less innocent reason. His eyes soaked up the scene before him greedily.

“You’re stronger than you look.” Josh smirked and bumped his knee against Tyler’s side. Tyler just blushed and stared down at Josh. There’s no way normal friends do this.

“What's going on in here?”

The boys froze, looking at each other before glancing at the door. A short girl with a striking resemblance to Josh was now standing beside the doorway with her arms crossed and eyebrows raised in a way that simply said _‘explain yourself’_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to end this on a cliff hanger, I'm still drawing this day the fuck out
> 
> P.S the kinky shit in this chapter is going in Tyler's wank bank ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	10. Everything's Just Wonderful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Ashley Dun  
> \- #awkward  
> \- Tops to Tails  
> \- Josh Admits  
> \- Tyler Does Sum Thinkin' and Explorin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the previous installment...
> 
> The boys froze, looking at each other before glancing at the door. A short girl with a striking resemblance to Josh was standing with her arms crossed beside the doorway and her eyebrows raised in a way that said ‘explain yourself’.

Tyler released his hands from Josh’s wrists and sprung back to sit on the blue covers with his head hung low. Josh crawled off the bed walked cautiously over to his unamused sister.

“Ashley it’s not what you think, uh, this is Tyler. He’s my partner in music class.” He gestured towards the embarrassed boy on the bed and Tyler waved awkwardly before staring back down at his ankles.

“And? You guys weren’t exactly making _music_ were you?” Ashley pouted.

“No no, uh we were just-“

“Look,” Ashley interrupted confidently, “I don’t wanna know what you were or weren’t doing. I just know that it’d be a shame if mom found out you had a _guy_ over without her permission at – oh, would you look at the time? Half eleven at _night_.” Ashley tapped her foot impatiently as Josh processed what she was trying to get across. He sighed as if this wasn’t the first time she’d tried to blackmail him.

“Fine, Ash, what do you want?” Josh groaned. Ashley smiled sweetly.

“You do my dish duty for a month.”

“Deal.”

“Then have fun boys,” Ashley waved her hand absently and turned towards the door before pausing, “-and stay safe.” She taunted before shutting the door behind her. Josh sighed again and turned back towards the bed. He only stopped to pick up and pull on a T-shirt, much to Tyler’s dismay.

“Was that, uh, your sister?” Tyler asked, just wanting to break the silence.

“Yeah.” Josh said bluntly.

“The sister you steal makeup from?” Tyler searched Josh’s expression for a smile and, sure enough, Josh chuckled and sat back down on the bed.

“Yeah. Sorry about her.” Josh stretched out and lay down on the bed, putting his hands behind his head and staring up at the ceiling. Tyler followed and linked his fingers across his chest.

“You shoulda haggled with her more.” Tyler joked, his eyes following the ceiling fan that was bobbing slowly above them.

“Better safe than sorry.” Josh mumbled. Tyler blinked. It was obvious Josh’s mom wasn’t very supportive of him being bisexual and family was definitely a touchy subject. Tyler wanted to ask him about her because he could relate with his father, but he really didn’t want Josh spiraling out of control again so he asked the second most prominent question lingering in his brain.

“What’s on your mind, Josh?”

Josh turned his head to face Tyler and thought carefully for a second. “You… I guess.”

Tyler blushed and looked away.

“Like, you agreed to be in this band with me and that’s like, my dream - kinda. But I can’t really help you with your dream. Or lack of. And you’ve like, written a poem about me and calmed me down from an anxiety attack and brought me _Taco Bell –_ but I haven’t really done anything for you.”

“Yes you have.” Tyler looked back at Josh and paused.

In Tyler’s ideal world Josh would have declared his undying love for him and they would have kissed right there and then, but this was not a movie, they weren’t a straight couple, and Tyler definitely wasn’t Jennifer Anniston.

“…What do you-“ Josh began to question; Tyler snapped out of his cheesy rom-com daydream and replied hastily.

“I mean like the band thing and writing lyrics and poems, it might give me something else to focus on instead of basketball.”

“Oh, yeah. I guess.” Josh nodded. Tyler gulped and looked away. He’s such an idiot.

“Maybe I could teach you the drums or something.” Josh shrugged, breaking the silence again. Tyler snorted.

“Yeah cause a band with just two drummers is gonna work.”

“If you don’t want to you can just say so.” Josh snapped back.

“What? No, Josh that’s not what I meant-“

Josh sighed, instantly regretting his outburst. “No, I’m sorry. I just wanna show you I can be useful.”

Tyler frowned, “Josh you don’t need to prove that you’re useful to be worth my time.” He explained, trying to erase the doubt from Josh’s mind.

“So I’m not useful then?” Josh said quietly.

“N-no, Josh? Look, you’re my best friend and I love yo-uu” Tyler’s heart skipped a beat as he let loose those stupid words you’re not supposed to just throw around. “…Man?” He added to try and make it seem less genuine. Obviously that just made the situation more awkward. This was exactly like the time Tyler ordered pizza and accidentally said ‘love you, bye’ to the pizza girl – except saying it to your crush whom you could potentially love in the future is much _much_ worse.

Josh stayed silent for a second and Tyler thought it was all over. To his surprise Josh chuckled and said, “Uh, I love youUUu man? Too” repeating what Tyler had said in scary accuracy.

Tyler let out a nervous laugh and lightly punched Josh on the shoulder - probably to try and seem more manly. “Shut up dude. Sorry I’m weird.”

Josh shrugged.

“S’okay. I’m weird too.”

The two lay staring and grinning at each other for a while, nothing needed to be said and nothing left unspoken. It was a weird moment that Tyler could probably pinpoint as when he officially started to fall in love with Josh. He wasn’t really sure what the moment meant to the other boy, but he wasn’t too hung up on that thought. Tyler was more wrapped up in slowly studying and remembering the details of Josh’s face in this exact moment: his dark eyelashes, the blue undertone of the puffy skin underneath his eyes, the lines and crinkles that littered his forehead, the colour of his almost black eyes, the size of his pupils, the nose ring that adorned his angular nose, the way his lips curled slightly at the ends in a soft Cheshire-cat smile. It was all beautiful to Tyler. Tyler wished he had taken an art class because this is exactly what he’d paint. Tyler watched in a trance as Josh moved his arm towards him. Everything felt so much slower and Tyler relished in it. He wanted to remember this moment because far too often moments are forgotten.

“You’ve got an eyelash…” Josh whispered as his finger brushed along Tyler’s cheek. Tyler didn’t flinch this time. Suddenly Tyler’s heart jump-started and time seemed to flow normally again – maybe even a little faster – as Tyler became self-aware of the moment.

Tyler blinked a few times and continued staring at Josh.

_‘This is it, isn’t it.’_

The thought echoed around his fuzzy brain and inspired him to lean in, stretching his neck out towards the other boy. He closed his eyes and contently thought _‘This is perfect.’_

“Okay so I-I, uh, need to go to the bathroom – “

Tyler’s eyes shot open and his lips practically shriveled up back into his mouth and died.

“I-it’s pretty late – do you want me to get you some pyjamas? – Yeah I’ll get you some pyjamas,” Josh was scrambling off the bed and before Tyler could even process anything he was out of the door.

“What the fuck.” Tyler said to no-one. Suddenly the pillow under his head was cold and hard and his mind was spinning. _‘Did I just get rejected? Josh doesn’t… like me?’_  His eyes darted around the room that suddenly seemed grow smaller by the second. _‘Oh God, josh doesn’t like me.’_ Tyler felt empty and cold and brought his hands up to rub his face. He didn’t feel like crying; he was just in shock.

Suddenly Josh entered the room again and Tyler was forced to wipe the pain off of his face.

“So, uh, do you want blue or grey sweatpants and uh, do you want a T-shirt? I don’t, uh, usually wear one but…” Josh trailed off, topless again and wearing some baggy black shorts. He lingered at the door looking like he was ready to bolt again at any second.

Tyler felt pure rage bubble up inside of him and he resisted the urge to shout at Josh for leading him on.  Instead he just gave the other boy a glare that looked like pure death. A fair trade in Tyler's books. He saw Josh’s Adams apple bob as he gulped.

“Uh, listen Ty, I’m sorry, I uh, I freaked out I’m just… Not ready. For that.” Tyler pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged them tightly, continuing his glare. “Don’t get the wrong idea, uh, I th-think I like you, but I’m just not sure. Sorry.” Josh finished, looking down and twiddling his thumbs. Tyler huffed, relief suddenly wriggling into the whirlwind of emotions he was currently feeling.

“Yeah man, s’fine.” Tyler said as normally as he could. He felt kinda numb. In a way he was relieved that Josh didn’t like him because maybe now he could fall in love with a girl and be normal.

“You sure, Ty?” Josh questioned carefully.

“Yeah don’t worry about it.” Tyler was talking in an unusually high voice and had a smile plastered on his face. Honestly it was freaking Josh out.

“You don’t sound fi-“

“I’m fine.” Tyler snapped. “Give me some sweatpants.”

Josh just nodded and wandered over to his drawers. He was feeling so much guilt and regret it was making him feel sick. It was really unfortunate that he didn’t have the power to turn back time or something. He was just so nervous that didn’t want to fuck up the moment but look – he managed to do it anyway. A part of him was happy that Tyler actually liked him like that, but it was kinda hard to think about the pros when he was currently shooting daggers into Josh’s back and Josh was wallowing in regret and self-hatred. This night had really been a roller coaster of emotions without this new drama.

“I-is grey okay?” Josh asked, walking reluctantly over to the bed.

“Yeah, whatever man.” Tyler said bitterly as he extended an arm out for the clothing. Josh handed it over cautiously and Tyler resumed a cross-legged position as he held it in his lap. “So do you want me to sleep on your couch or the floor or…” Tyler said quietly, scratching the back of his head. His voice was softer and sadder this time.

“No, uh, it’s fine – you can sleep in my bed, uh, with me?” Josh said, unsure of himself. Tyler shot him another glare. _‘Make up your damn mind, Dun.’_ Tyler seethed. Did this punk like him or not?

“Uh, yeah, like Tops to Tails?” Josh quickly suggested.

“Tops to _what?_ ” Tyler questioned, eyes digging into Josh’s. Secretly he was panicked, _‘Is this some gay shit I don’t know about? Josh has a death wish.’_

“Yeah, like one of you sleeps the normal way and the other sleeps with their head where your feet are supposed to go. Tops to Tails.” Josh explained. Tyler looked at the other boy suspiciously.

“Alright.”  He agreed as he got up off the bed. Josh took a step back as if Tyler was going to attack him at any given moment. “I’m just gonna change.” Tyler stated.

“Yeah, well you know where the bathroom is.” Josh said quietly, going back to twiddling his thumbs. Once Tyler had walked out of the room Josh sat on the edge of his bed and put his head in his hands. _‘Tyler hates me, doesn’t he. Maybe I should try and kiss him when he gets back? – no you gotta wait for the right moment – that was the right moment and you blew it! Are you even ready for any of this though?’_  Josh was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t hear Tyler come back in.

“Uh, knock knock?”  Josh looked up to find Tyler standing in the middle of the room wearing his grey sweatpants and nothing else. Josh absentmindedly ran his eyes over Tyler’s torso and couldn’t help but wonder if he did this on purpose just to spite him. _‘You’re such a fucking idiot, Josh’_ he thought to himself as he dragged his eyes up from the view. Tyler's makeup was gone but his eyes still looked dark.

“Yeah, sorry.” Josh mumbled, getting up off the creased bed.

Tyler remained in the middle of the room and shuffled restlessly. He tensed his shoulders a little and Josh definitely noticed. “No, uh, I should be the one saying that to you – uh, sorry I mean.” Tyler stuttered out. He blinked and started again. “I’m sorry I was such a douche back there. It’s only cus I like you and I wanted you to like me too, but it’s okay if you don’t. I still like you as my bestest friend and yeah, I’m really sorry if I made you uncomfortable or anything.”

Josh couldn’t help but smile. “Of course I like you dude – I just, I uh, I need to figure some things out – and I promise I won’t tease you for liking me like that.”

Tyler snorted, “Thanks.” He said sarcastically then returned to a serious tone. “So are we good?”

“Yeah man, we’re good.” Josh saw relief sweep across Tyler’s face and felt a little less guilty about his decisions. “So do you wanna sleep Tops or Tails?”

Tyler’s face fell again in panic. _‘Is this gonna be like some metaphor for whether I top or bottom or what? Fuck, I haven’t thought about any of this stuff!?’_ Tyler’s mind raced as the silence extended a little too long. “You choose.” Tyler finally blurted out. _‘You idiot, Josh probably doesn’t know either if he still has to ‘figure things out’ – you’re just making this harder for him!’_

Josh sighed. “Uh, I guess I’ll go tails.” And started manoeuvring his pillows to the other end of the bed.

_‘What does that mean? He didn’t even think about it! Is he a bottom? Am I thinking too deep into this? He’s probably not even thinking about it like that – you’re just messed up Tyler.’_

“You coming or what?” Josh called, hand on the bedside table lap switch. _‘Coming!?’_ Tyler shook his head and clambered onto the bed. He tucked the covers over with his feet and pulled them up to his chin. Tyler heard a click and the two were in darkness. Josh shuffled around, trying to get comfortable and once the silence was final enough, Tyler spoke.

“Night, Josh.”

“Night, Ty.”

Tyler lay on his back, staring at the ceiling fan once more. He hadn’t really thought this far into his plans and certainly didn’t take his insomnia into account. Sleeping in someone else’s house, in someone else’s bed, with someone else whom he just happened to have a thing for – he was getting _no_ sleep tonight.

Tyler sighed and turned to his left to see Josh’s socked toes poking out of the covers. _‘Shit,’_ Tyler thought, _‘I don’t have any socks on.’_ Tyler consciously curled his toes into the covers. _‘Oh God, what if my feet stink?’_ Tyler chewed on his lip anxiously and obsessed over the ridiculous thought for a while until he finally decided to do something about it.

“Josh?” He whispered into the darkness.

“Hmmmf?” Josh groaned as the covers shifted.

“You don’t have to sleep like that.” Tyler looked down the bed to see Josh lying on his front with an arm hanging off the edge. That can’t be comfortable.

“Mmnah, s’okay.” Josh mumbled into the pillow. Tyler propped himself up on an elbow, no longer concerned about his feet.

“No man I feel bad, that looks uncomfortable.”

“Mmwell I’m tryin’ to make _you_ feel comfortable by bein’ here, so.” Josh slurred.

Tyler looked back up at the ceiling. “That doesn’t make any sense. I’m the one who made you feel uncomfortable in the first place. You should be making me sleep down there, I was-“

“Gaaawd okay dude, I’ll move.” Josh groaned, clambering up from his laying position. “Anythin’ to get you to shuddup.”

Tyler thumped his head back down on the pillow in a huff.

“I jus’ don’t want you thinkin’ that I’m leading you on by doin’ this cause’ you get mad. I dunno. I regret not kissin’ you. Thas’all.” Josh was sure this all made sense in his sleep-clouded brain, but somewhere along the line things got complicated. Josh didn’t double-check himself though; he was almost asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow again.

Tyler, on the other hand, was now more awake than ever. _‘… He regrets not kissing me. Huh. Interesting.’_  His brain was whirring away like an overheated computer trying to make the connection that this meant Josh _did_ like him back.

And with that his ‘computer’ crashed. _‘_

_If he wanted to kiss me why didn’t he? Why is he confused at all? He knows he’s bisexual so he’s not confused, unless he’s confused about me? Why was he trying to make me comfortable? He doesn’t make any sense! Why can’t he make up his damn mind? Do we have a future or not-‘_

Tyler’s breakdown was interrupted by a soft snore from Josh. He took this opportunity to throw the covers off him and prop up a pillow so he could sit up. He really was overheating like a computer – there’s no way he’s gonna get any sleep tonight.

 _‘So… If Josh does actually like me like that, but is still confused – is it because of his mom? Does he not want me to be his boyfriend? – Well that would make some kinds of sense since we haven’t known each other that long…but he showed me his secret makeup box and we talked about things he’s never told anyone before… That I’ve never told anyone before. Maybe he thinks we’re just moving too fast or something. God, why did he have to go to sleep? There’s no way I’m gonna bring this emotional crap up in the morning.’_  Tyler ruffled his hair and flung his legs over the side of the bed. _‘I’m gonna have to wait for him to make the first move, aren’t I?’_ Tyler sighed and got up, floor creaking slightly under his weight. He tip-toed lightly across the room in the general direction his bag and blindly fumbled around for his leather book so that he could maybe sleep tonight. Suddenly his arm knocked against something light and cold and a loud clang echoed throughout the room. Tyler fumbled to grab it and flicked his head towards his sleeping friend. Nothing. Tyler breathed a sigh of relief and looked down, squinting through the darkness at the foreign object. It was a… guitar? _‘No, way too small for a guitar. A, um,’_ Tyler thought, hard trying to remember the name of the instrument in front of him.

“Ukulele!” He whispered to himself triumphantly. _‘So Josh is a multi-instrumentalist. Kind of. Maybe like, one and a half?’_ Tyler thought as he flipped the object in his hands. It was light and easy to hold. _‘Probably easy to learn, too.’_ Tyler bashed as he felt the four nylon strings, careful not to make any noise. _‘Hey…’_ He thought, suddenly putting two and two together. _‘Hey, I could learn this easy!’_

Tyler tucked the uke under his arm and finally found his bag. Grabbing his notebook and a pencil he returned to the bed and pulled out his phone. He clicked on the internet app and hesitated, knowing how much it could run his phone bill. _‘Fuck it.’_ He thought, and slowly typed in the search bar ‘How to play the ukulele.’ If he wasn't gonna sleep tonight, he may as well do something productive.

_‘Josh may have to make the first move, but I can definitely give him a push in the right direction.'_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's Tyjo up to and how does he plan on learning the ukuele without making any noise? Find out in the next episode of I Don't Know What The Heck I'm Doing!


	11. Build Me Up, Buttercup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Well then  
> \- Here comes the Ukulele  
> \- Josh's Predicament  
> \- Father Figure Ashley Dun  
> \- Tyler's First Stealth  
> \- Someone Feed My Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the start of this chapter is more from Josh's point of view for No Apparent Reason, there's also some mediocre smut so if you aren't into that just skip the first four paragraphs and enjoy xox

Josh’s room was unnaturally dark. So dark that he couldn’t see anything further than four inches in front of his face. Luckily he didn’t have to worry too much about that because Tyler’s face was exactly in that range; lit up almost like a Christmas tree, ghosting short raspy breaths along Josh’s skin as his nimble fingers traced and explored the flesh below.  
   
Josh’s nails raked down the entire length of Tyler’s back - almost of their own accord - and Tyler hissed happily in response, gritting his teeth and fluttering his eyelids. It was like music to Josh’s ears. He did it again, eager to gain the same result, squirming to keep the other boy in place. Tyler’s face was hovering teasingly above Josh’s and all Josh wanted to do was close the gap between them. Almost as if Tyler had read his mind, he parted his wet lips and let out a breathy whisper that was quite possibly the most pornographic thing Josh had ever heard.  
   
“What do you want, Joshie.” He murmured in between pants, curling up the corners of his mouth in a lust-filled grin. Josh’s vision was starting to blur and it sounded like Tyler was underwater. His brain was also in the passenger seat and unable to help him form basic words, so he just whined and grabbed at Tyler’s shoulder blades – trying to communicate that he wanted  _more._  
   
“What do you  _want_ , Joshie.” Tyler repeated, grinding down hard on the other boy _. ‘More, more, more, more.’_ A moan escaped Josh’s mouth and Tyler laughed, throwing his head up to the ceiling. Josh moved his hands greedily up and down Tyler’s hips and back as he sped up the tempo of their grinds. Tyler’s face returned to its spot in front of Josh’s and he grinned knowingly as music started to play, getting louder and louder as if someone was turning the volume up in Josh’s head. Tyler roughly pinned him to the bed for a brief second before his hands ghosted through Josh’s body. Then he was gone.  
   
“Wha…?”  
   
The images in front of Josh whirled away like water down a plughole and soon he was left with the backs of his eyes and an empty feeling.  
   
“Morning, dog-breath.” Tyler’s soothing voice brought Josh back to reality and he shot up from where he was laying, making himself feel a bit light-headed. Josh had to blink a few times a before his eyes could adjust to the bright room and fully recognise that Tyler was sitting at the end of his bed, fully clothed, and strumming on a ukulele.  
   
“Bad dream?” Tyler smiled, cocking his head curiously. Josh sucked in a shallow breath as he recalled what he now understood to be a dream. Suddenly he was the most awake he had ever been on a school morning.  
   
“Uh, yep. Yeah.” Josh said, swallowing hard and glancing nervously down at the duvet covering him. _‘Please, no.’_  
   
“What was it about?” Tyler pressed, talking in time with his strumming.  
   
“Gee, uh, I dunno – being chased by a monster? I don’t really remember.” Josh stammered as he wiggled around. His thighs slid against each other unusually easily.  _‘It’s probably just sweat,_ ’ Josh tried convincing himself. He swallowed thickly.  _‘Who am I kidding? I had a fucking wet dream about Tyler. Fuck.’_  
   
“Come on Josh! When are you gonna catch on?” Tyler whined, ripping Josh from his thoughts. He looked up at the other boy who was now standing and holding the ukuele up beside him expectantly. “Aren’t you gonna ask how I can magically play the ukuele now?” Josh blinked again, his brain finding it hard to multitask on the two dilemmas he was presented with.  
   
“Uhh, yeahhh? I, uh, thought you didn’t play anything.” Josh said, sounding only half-interested at best. Luckily Tyler didn’t notice and continued, puffing his chest out proudly.  
   
“I learnt it last night.”  
   
“…Really?” Josh said, actually quite impressed. Josh paused for a second to study Tyler’s appearance, suddenly noticing the dark rings surrounding Tyler’s eyes and he put two and two together. “Dude, how much sleep did you get last night?”  
   
Tyler’s grin faltered and his chest deflated. “Oh, uh… I dunno like four hours?”  _‘Try two.’_  
   
“Dude, you can’t function on four hours – that’s, that’s bad for you.” Josh said seriously, trying to strategically bunch up his covers around his crotch area while Tyler was distracted. In doing so, his thumb grazed across the top of his thigh and came into contact with a cold sticky substance.  _‘Shit, that’s definitely cum.’_  Josh shuddered before hastily wiping his hand on the bed.  
   
Tyler wobbled awkwardly on the spot and looked down at his feet. “No man, it’s fine. I’m used to it.” Josh relaxed his steel grip on his sheets for a moment and looked up questioningly.  
   
“What do you mean?”  
   
Tyler shrugged his shoulders up to his ears and slapped his hands loosely against his sides like a kid being told off. “I’m uh… I’m an insomniac.” He said quietly.  
   
“Oh.” Josh replied, “Um… sorry, dude. I mean, I coulda got you some milk or somethin’ a-and I woulda stayed up with you, you know. If I had known…”  
   
“It’s fine - really. And that’s actually really sweet Josh.” Tyler smiled sheepishly, holding the ukulele loosely by its neck behind his back. Josh felt a burn start to spread in his cheeks and folded his arms consciously over his body. Tyler seemed to inflate again as he swung the ukulele around and picked up a cheerful tone.  
   
“Anyway! Speaking of!” _‘Speaking of what?’_ Josh managed to think before Tyler broke into song.  
   
“Why do you build me up-build me up, buttercup baby just to let me down-let me down, and mess me around-“  
   
Tyler sauntered around the room with a smile playing about his face, nodding his head from side to side as he tried to sing the harmonies and the lead at the same time. Josh closed his eyes and groaned, leaning back as he realised what Tyler was doing. He shook his head and started clapping slowly at the smug boy opposite him. Tyler just kept singing, this time with direct eye contact and a larger grin.  
   
“You never call, baby when you say you will-“  
   
“We’ve never even spoken on the phone, Tyler.” Josh called out to the half of his room that had now become a stage.  
   
 “-but I love you still, I need you-I need you more than anyone darlin’, you know that I have from the  _start_ ,” Tyler drew out the last word with a single strum and leaned towards the other boy who just huffed. “Build me up, Buttercup, don’t break my heart.” Tyler stopped and straightened up, signifying the end of his serenade with a tap on the ukulele. Josh scratched his head as Tyler waited patiently for feedback.  
   
“Well first of all I’m impressed with your ukulele skills – I haven’t touched that thing in years – and secondly shouldn’t  _I_  be the one teasing  _you_  for liking me? Not the other way around?” Josh interrogated, making gestures between them with his hands.  
   
Tyler hummed happily and rapped his stubby fingernails against the body of the uke. “There’s one thing you should know about me, Dun, and that’s that I don’t do things the ‘normal’ way. I think outside the box.” Tyler said with a hint of satire.  
   
“So?” Josh questioned, moving to cross his legs. His thighs pulled apart painstakingly as the cum he had forgotten about had how dried. He pursed his lips and brought his attention back to the current conversation. He’ll have to worry about that later.  
   
“I have a plan.” Tyler grinned, lowering his voice for effect. He straightened his back and placed a hand over his heart. “I, Tyler Robert Joseph, am hereby going to wear my heart on my sleeve, and probably embarrass myself a lot because I don’t really know what I’m doing but I know that I like  _you_. So, uh, the main gist of my plan is that I’m just gonna sit about like a weird piece of furniture in your life until you, uh, ‘figure things out’ and uh, hope for the best.” Tyler smiled sweetly but Josh could see a hint of worry seep through his shameless façade.  
   
“Um, cool plan, dude. I guess… you may continue, soldier.” Josh suggested weakly. Tyler licked his lips, hiding a grin, and saluted Josh silently before going back to strumming the instrument.  
   
Josh smiled at Tyler’s bravery and was positive that they’d get ‘back on track’ at some point. He just had to wrap his head around the idea and stop his anxiety from preventing him from making a move – because that’s what Tyler was hinting at; he was sure of it.  _‘He’s waiting for me.’_  Josh concluded and chewed the inside of his cheek _. ‘What a gentleman.’_   Suddenly the music stopped.  
   
“Josh, are you gonna go to school today?” Tyler asked quietly, not wanting to spook Josh but at the same time not wanting to tip-toe around the subject. Unfortunately, Josh’s heart pounded unhappily at the thought of going back and topped with his current predicament he quickly decided that  _that_ was enough excuse to not go.  
   
“Uhh… no I don’t think so.” Josh tried to say as normally as possible. Tyler looked saddened and went to prop the ukulele up against the wall.  
   
“Come on, Josh,” Tyler pleaded, walking up to the bed. “You have to go back some time, Better now than later.” Josh recoiled as Tyler sat on the edge of the bed. This was too close for comfort. “And  _I’ll_  be with you.” Tyler stuck his bottom lip out in a comical frown and Josh laughed nervously.  
   
“Sorry Tyler, I uh, I haven’t really prepared myself. Maybe tomorrow.” Tyler sucked in his pouting lip and lifted himself up with a huff so he was fully on the bed on his knees.  
   
“I didn’t want to do this Dun, but you’ve left me no choice.” Tyler said as he went onto all fours and started crawling towards Josh. He initiated intense eye contact and devilishly said, “I’m gonna tickle you until you come.”  
   
Josh’s eyes went wide and he scrambled up to the top of the bed while taking as much covers as he could along with him. Under any other circumstances, Josh would be all for this – but not when he had  _already come_  in his Pyjama shorts. If Tyler found out he rejected him then went on to have a wet dream about him on the  _very same night_  Josh had a sneaking suspicion that his lifeless body would be found in a ditch somewhere three days later. And Josh liked being alive – very much.

“No no no Tyler NO!” He exclaimed, extending his palm to shield himself from the slinking boy.  
   
“Last chance.” Tyler sung tauntingly, now hovering over Josh with his hands twitching restlessly.  
   
“Finefinefine,” Josh rushed, batting Tyler’s hands away. The shadows vanished from the other boy’s face and he grinned triumphantly.  
   
“See, I knew you’d come around.”  
   
Josh pulled the covers up to his chin and eyed Tyler suspiciously as he clambered off of the bed. He was about to turn towards his schoolbag when he sensed no movement from Josh.  
   
“So, uh, are you gonna get up then? It’s like 7 already.”

Josh gulped and flicked his eyes around the room uncomfortably. How was he gonna get out of this one.

“Uhh, yeah, it’s just, uh – have you had any breakfast? You must be starving man, why don’t you go downstairs and help yourself to some cereal or whatever and I’ll meet you down there, okay?” Josh squinted his eyes and smiled politely, praying Tyler would just go along with it.

“Okay…?” Tyler questioned but smiled back all the same, hovering by the door. “So… I uh, just help myself then?”

“Yeah I’ll be like five minutes.” Josh reassured him quickly. Tyler opened his mouth to say something else but instead closed it and just rolled his eyes, walking out the door to let Josh get on with whatever he was up to.

Tyler strolled down the hallway (ignoring the hectic movement and banging now coming from Josh’s room) and took time to look at all the photographs that were hung up on the walls that he didn’t notice last night. He passed a sweet set of Josh and Ashley playing on the swings in their backyard when they were little and a particularly adorable one of Josh smiling at someone off-camera in a tux, looking like he was no more than six years old. After sneakily taking a photograph with his phone camera, he moved on to some oval-shaped formal school pictures that looked more recent. There were four of them: one of a young red-headed girl and a slightly older boy with dark brown hair in the same elementary school uniform (Tyler assumed them to be Josh’s other siblings) then Ashley and Josh in smart-casual wear. Tyler almost had to do a double-take at Josh’s picture and immediately got his phone camera back up because Josh had black  _straightened_   _hair_  and a  _lip piercing_. Tyler couldn’t help laughing out loud, covering his mouth with one hand and taking a picture with the other.

 _‘I’m so using this as blackmail._ ’

Tyler eventually managed to simmer down and continue along the wall of memories.  Josh’s siblings grew in the photographs before his eyes and he noted that their dad was in none of them.  _‘Good.’_  He thought before stopping in front of the last one by the top of the stairs. This one was different; it had Josh’s mother in it.

All four children were in their living room and had been arranged in height order. Josh was at the right end as the tallest, standing with his hands behind his back and giving the camera a toothy grin. He was probably about ten, Tyler judged. His mother was at the opposite end holding up a baby girl and kneeling beside the other two. She was a short woman with the same dark hair as Josh’s natural colour, except it was cut into a neat bob with bangs. She was smiling heartily, her pupils reddened from the flash of the camera. Tyler chewed on his lip. ‘ _I wonder if she’d like me.’_

Tyler heard movement from a room beside him and quickly tore his eyes from the photo and rushed down the stairs – as if he’d avoid seeing anyone there.  _‘It’s their house you idiot.’_  He thought, turning a corner and wandering cautiously towards where he thought the kitchen would be. He entered through an archway and stopped short as he was met with a pajama’d Ashley Dun sitting up the kitchen table eating cereal.  He eyes locked onto his and she froze; milk spilling from the spoon she was about to shovel in her mouth.

“Uh, hey Ashley.” Tyler said, jumping further into the room upon being caught. Ashley shut her mouth and continued staring at him. “Uh, can I-“

 “Take a seat, ‘Tyler’.” She said with no warmth in her voice, gesturing to a chair opposite.

“Oh, uh, okay.” Tyler stuttered, reaching to pull the wooden chair out. Once he was seated, Ashley ate another spoonful of cereal and chewed slowly as Tyler sat twiddling his thumbs in his lap. It was obvious who the dominant one was in this household, and whatever she was doing to try and intimidate Tyler – it was working.

“So, ‘Tyler’,” She said suspiciously, like Tyler wasn’t his real name or something, “what business do you have with my brother?” She put her elbows on the table and linked her fingers, waiting for a response. Tyler felt like he was in an interview.

“Well, uh, we’re partners in music class so…” Tyler trailed off. Ashley raised an eyebrow.

“Is that all? Is that all he’s worth to you?” She said bitterly, looking him up and down.

“N-no! Of course not!” Tyler stuttered, “We-we’re friends, too.” He barely resisted the urge to call her 'Sir'. Ashley’s expression suddenly lifted and she laughed, picking up her spoon again.

“I’m just messing with you Tyler! You should’ve seen the look on your face!” She howled, pointing a finger at him. Tyler laughed nervously.

“Haha, yeah-“

“But seriously,” She cut Tyler off again and returned to her overly-protective-father voice, “I can tell Josh likes you and you like him too so what exactly happened last night.” She shot daggers at him and Tyler gulped, trying to think of something to say. She suddenly burst out laughing again and Tyler half-smiled until she calmed down. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding – these walls are paper thin so I can hear everything.” She joked, but Tyler sensed it was more of a threat. “Want some cereal?” She asked casually, gesturing back towards the kitchen.

‘ _Geez, she has a more intense sense of humour than Josh.’_ Tyler thought before smiling and nodding – only half-convinced that she wouldn’t be able to read his mind. “Yeah, please. I’m starving.”

Ashley got up and shuffled over to a kitchen cupboard and swung the doors open. Tyler could now see she was wearing a light green fluffy dressing gown on top of some Disney pyjamas and slippers to match. He was slightly envious of her comfortable attire as he was currently wearing yesterday’s school-clothes (and it was the start of summer). Let’s just say he borrowed a generous amount of Josh’s Lynx deodorant and body spray when he got changed this morning.

“So we have Lucky Charms, Fruit Loops, Cheerios –“

Suddenly the front door slammed shut and Ashley’s knotted head spun round. Tyler’s eyes locked with hers in a mutual sense of panic before she quickly shut the cupboard door and rushed over to him.

“YOU HAVE TO HIDE!” She whispered, making big movements with her mouth to express the urgency of the situation at hand. She grabbed Tyler’s arm and pulled him into the Living room. Tyler followed obediently and didn’t even question when she pushed him into the shoe cupboard. “Wait here until I come and get you.” She said confidently before shutting the door, leaving Tyler crouching uncomfortably in complete darkness. “Hey mom, how was work? “ He heard Ashley call casually as her voice got further away from the cupboard door.  _‘Josh’s mom… Oh no.’_  Tyler thought, carefully sitting down on a pile of shoes.

“Ugh, same ol’ same ol’ – Christine left me a whole pile of papers  _again_ -“ Josh’s mom sounded quite awake – despite working through most of the night.

“Oh, mom no. You need to complain about her.” Ashley replied in the same tone, fueling her fire.

“I know I kn-“ She stopped short for a second and Tyler pressed his ear against the cold door lightly. “Whose shoes are these?” She said quietly. Tyler suddenly remembered taking his shoes off by the front door after going back down to collect the (cold) Taco Bell he had left outside yesterday and rubbed his forehead in distress. ‘ _She’s gonna find out, she’s gonna find me.’_  Tyler thought hopelessly.

“They’re Josh’s.” Ashley’s voice cut through the silence.

“No they’re not.” Josh’s mom replied almost immediately. “I buy all his shoes, these aren’t his.”  Ashley stayed silent and Tyler’s hope dwindled away as the seconds ticked by. “Ashley is someone else here? Do you have a boy round?” She continued in a sterner voice.

“No, of course not-“ The voices were getting closer now, “-I’m sure Josh just borrowed the shoes from one of his friends, look mom, why don’t you go and get changed and I’ll make you a cup of tea.”

At that moment Tyler’s stomach decided to groan loudly and the poor boy scrambled to clutch his sides – tensing his muscles in hopes of stopping the noise. The two were silent again and Tyler was sure the jig was up until another voice entered the mix.

“Mommy! You’re back!”

“Yes sweetie! Mommy’s here, how’s my little angel?”

Tyler let go of his sides as Josh’s mom’s attention was turned to her youngest daughter. The three chatted for a while about this and that until she finally went upstairs – taking Abby (as Tyler had learned) up with her. Tyler heard the floor creak as Ashley made her way to his hiding spot and cracked open the door. Tyler didn’t even have time to feel relief.

“Go go go go!” Ashley whispered urgently, grabbing Tyler’s arm again and pulling him back into the kitchen. He crouched behind the table, paranoid, as Ashley grabbed a key from the counter and pressed it into the lock of the French windows that extended the majority of the length of the far wall. She gently slid it open and motioned for Tyler to go through, which he did sideways so not to risk making any noise. He quickly sidestepped to the brick wall on the outside so he was out of view from inside the house and let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He heard Ashley shut the door behind her and then he was alone. In Josh’s garden. In his socks.

Wasting no time, he quickly walked away from the wall so he could see Josh’s window and the (now extended) space between the vine and the wall.  _‘There’s no way I’m risking that again._ ’ Tyler thought, recalling his near death experience. Instead he scrambled over to the flower bed and picked out some small stones.  _‘This had better work.’_  He thought as he returned to the patio. Looking up at Josh’s window, he aimed and threw a stone which made contact with a little ‘tap’. He waited for a second before throwing another. ’Tap’. He was aiming for the third when the window slid open and Josh appeared – topless once again.

“Well this is all very romantic Tyler but-“

“SHHH! Keep your voice down!” Tyler whisper-shouted, eyeing the French windows. Josh put his hands up in defense and drew an imaginary zip across his lips.

“Your  _mom_  is here.” Tyler whispered, mouthing dramatically so Josh would understand. Josh’s lips parted slightly in surprise and worry as he thought for a second. Tyler didn’t have time for this. “What do I do!?” he called up. Josh blinked and leaned further out of the window.

“Just get to school, I’ll meet you there.” He whisper-shouted back down to Tyler. Tyler pursed his lips and gestured harshly towards his socked feet. “Oh.” Tyler saw Josh mouth before putting a finger up and vanishing from view. Tyler rocked nervously on the spot in a wide spaced stance – or more commonly known as the fight or flight position. Josh returned promptly, holding up a pair of bright red sneakers. Tyler frowned and Josh rolled his eyes in return. “It’s all I have up here and they’re  _new_  so be  _careful_.” Josh said, drawing out the important words. Tyler nodded and made grabby motions with his hands. He couldn’t afford to be picky but he was going to look like a total fashion disaster at school today. Josh chucked one after the other and Tyler caught them with grace, slipping them easily onto his feet.  _‘Josh must be the same size as me.’_  He thought as he wiggled his smug toes in the florescent shoes.  _‘I wonder if that means…’_

“Tyler!” Josh hissed, snapping Tyler to attention just in time for him to see his backpack hurdling towards his head. Tyler stumbled back and stuck his arms out blindly; catching the heavy bag with an ‘oof!’. Tyler heard Josh’s mom’s voice from inside the house and looked back up at Josh searchingly - awaiting instructions. Josh made a quick shooing motion with his hands and Tyler bolted. He didn’t stop running until he was halfway down the next street – paranoia and gut instinct that he got from his dad’s snooping habits taking control. The fact that he saw parallels with himself and Josh and how he acted around his mom was not good, but at least now he had someone who knew what he was going through. Tyler shouldn’t have taken comfort in that but he did. Tyler then wondered if Josh would even come into school today.  _‘Gosh, he better do – after all the crap I’ve been through this morning.’_  Tyler thought, blissfully unaware of Josh’s ‘accident’.

* * *

 

Before he knew it, Tyler was looking up at the school gates and dread was filling his entire being.  _‘Curse these springy sneakers._ ’ He thought in despair, getting to school much quicker than anticipated. He was definitely feeling the low after the adrenaline rush of hiding from Josh’s mom – well that and the two hours of sleep and  _no breakfast_. Tyler’s stomach rumbled in agreement and he was about to soldier on through those dreaded gates when he locked eyes with Jenna who was standing at the side with the rest of his friends. He changed his course of direction and walked (walk is a strong word for what Tyler did – it was more of a blind stumble) over to them and grabbed onto Jenna’s cardigan sleeve like it was his lifeline.

“Please feed me I’m dying.” He croaked, gaining everyone’s attention.

“Dude what happened?”

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Tyler?”

Tyler blinked, not capable of connecting the voices to their person.

“It’s a long story.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it even legal for Josh's mom to work all those hours throughout the night I don't even know and I'm not gonna bother to research it all that matters is she's making the munz
> 
> If you're still reading this story thank you and sorry because I still have no overall plan but I do have some ideas for the next chapters that I think you might like ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) stay tuned for a bit of Jalex sub-plot xx


	12. A Change Of Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- WHAT ARE THOOOSE  
> \- Josh's Pumpkin Ass  
> \- Tyler's Mistake  
> \- Bad Boy Joseph  
> \- Diagnosis: Love  
> \- Alex's Guilt  
> \- Tyler's Type  
> \- New Semester, New Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is long and I don't know why cause it started out as a filler then spiraled out of control. Still, it's cute (I hope) so enjoy x

Once Jenna had produced a breakfast bar out of her bag and Tyler had gobbled it down hungrily, he was finally in the right state of mind to answer his friends’ questions – not that they had stopped asking since he arrived. Jenna, Brendon, and Jack (in that order) were crowded around him with the same replicated expression of confusion on their faces. Brendon spoke up first when Tyler shoved the empty packaging into his pocket.

“Tyler? What the _hell_ is going on dude? You show up at school starved and looking like mess in the _same_ clothes as yesterday, like, did you sleep on the streets last night or- Wait, what are _those_?” Brendon rushed, eyes being held down by Josh's nauseatingly bright red sneakers on Tyler's feet. With a hint of disgust seeping into his confused expression, Brendon stepped back to get a better look. The other’s followed suit - Jenna lent forwards and put her hands above her knees while Jack squatted down; all three looking at the pair of shoes like kids who had found a dead frog. Tyler thought Jack would’ve poked them with a stick if he had the chance.

“Now _that_ is a tragedy.” Jack said, offended, before standing back up, “Who did this to you man?”

Tyler swayed on the spot. “Wh-what even? Okay, look, I went round Josh’s last night and I didn’t bring any clothes with me-“

“Y-you stayed _overnight_?” Jenna blurted out, piecing the information together at top speed. She was the queen of assumptions.

“Wait _what!?_ ” Brendon exploded, eyes flicking from Jenna to Tyler. Tyler stood uncomfortably and scratched his arm, not understanding why this was such a big deal.

“Yeah I-“ He begun, breaking the awkward silence before Brendon threw his arms up and spun around in a circle.

“Oh I don’t believe this! Josh let you dip the wick, just like that? You’ve known each other for a week and I thought that guy had _commitment issues_ -“

“Come on man, look at him,” Jack interrupted, gesturing towards a wide-eyed Tyler, “Isn’t it obvious? Josh defiled this poor Christian boy with his _perfect_ ass-“

“- _such_ a good ass,” Brendon chimed in.

“- then threw him out onto the street in yesterday’s clothes and some ugly-ass sneakers!” Jack finished, moving behind Tyler to put his hands on his shoulders protectively. “I can’t believe Josh could be so cold.” Tyler shrugged him off and took a step forwards.

“No no no, nothing like that happened.” He insisted, turning back around face them again. He really couldn’t tell if they were joking or not.

“Well _something_ happened.” Jenna piped up, gesturing to his outfit and shoes. Tyler sighed. Maybe if he explained himself they'd finally shut up.

“Okay but you _can’t interrupt me_.” Tyler said sternly while eyeing the three. Jenna gave him a slight nod as their collective representative and he began. “So yeah, I went round Josh’s last night and I ended up staying over but _nothing happened_.” Tyler paused, giving everyone a serious look before continuing. “I just didn’t sleep very well and then in the morning his _mom_ came home before we left.” Tyler watched as his friend’s faces fell. ' _They obviously know what she's like, then.'_ Tyler thought briefly. "So basically I ended up hiding in a shoe cupboard, then his sister snuck me out into the backyard and Josh threw me my bag and _these_ shoes down from his window. Now I’m here.” Tyler finished, not mentioning anything about makeup, fathers, or near death experiences.

“Okay… But where’s Josh?” Jenna broke the silence. Tyler was about to explain that he was going to meet him at school, but he didn’t have to.

“Hey guys what’s up?” Josh’s calm voice came from behind Jenna who quickly sidestepped to let him into the little circle. Brendon and Jack wasted no time on practically jumping him.

“Josh is it true that you rode Tyler into the sunset?”

“Did your pumpkin ass turn him?”

“How big was his-“

“Hold up - _What_ is going on!?” Josh raised his voice above the others in a not so cheerful tone. Tyler shoved past Brendon and Jack and stood facing the overwhelmed boy.

“Sorry they, uh, wanted to know what happened to me,” Tyler said nervously, gesturing once again to his outfit, “and they’re, uh… making assumptions.” He lowered his voice and Josh rolled his eyes accordingly. He had been friends with these guys for over a year – he of all people knew what they were like.

“Of course.” He groaned.

Brendon made his way back to the two and flung an arm around Tyler’s shoulders.

“So whaddya say Josh? You finally turned him? Showed him the promise land?”

“W-what? No, Brendon. Nothing like that happened, we just worked on the project and made some music-“

“Made music or sweet looove,” Jack called over Brendon’s shoulder and the two snickered.

“Knock it off you fucks.” Josh said, now starting to get irritated. Jack made an ‘ooOoo’ noise and Brendon turned his attention to Tyler.

“So you’re telling me that you just went round his house to tell him about the party alone _without Jenna_ – yeah she told me-“ Tyler shot a questioning glance at Jenna who just pulled a face and mouthed ‘sorry!’, “and decided to spontaneously sleep over and _nothing happened?_ “ Tyler opened his mouth to deny all accusations but was cut off by Josh.

“Wait, what party?”

Everyone looked at him in shocked silence for a good three seconds, during which Tyler felt his entire world crumble. _‘I forgot to tell him about the fucking party, literally the only thing I had to d-‘_

“TYLER!?” Brendon barked in his ear, making him jump. Brendon withdrew his arm from Tyler’s shoulder and did another circle on the spot – trying to contain himself. Jack put his fingers on his temples, looking half-distressed but half amused and Jenna just clasped a hand over her mouth. It was like everyone couldn’t believe how stupid Tyler had been – including himself.

“Tyler you _literally_ cannot say nothing happened when you forgot the whole _entire fucking reason_ for going round his house!” Brendon explained through clenched teeth.

“You need to get better at covering your tracks, man.” Jack added, crossing his arms. Brendon finished his dramatic circle and ended up back beside Jack. Tyler followed, rushing up to them in desperation.

“N-no! We just lost track of time I-“

“Tyler stop-“ Josh’s stern voice cut through Tyler’s panic and he whirled back around to face him. “Look guys, you got us. It’s true.” Josh shrugged. Tyler’s eyes widened and he shot Josh a ‘ _what the fuck are you doing’_ look. Josh licked his lips mysteriously and nudged his head at Tyler, wanting him to play along.

“No way…” Jack said in awe, hardly believing what he was hearing. Brendon was just standing with his mouth agape – no words coming out of it for once.

“Wow.” Jenna said simply, emphasizing the last letter and blinking more than what would be considered a normal amount.

“Yeah,” Josh continued with a sigh, “I think the sexual frustration of two not-straight boys simply existing alone in a room together just got the better of us.” Tyler paused, processing that Josh was _joking_. His face relaxed a little and he bit his bottom lip to hide a smile, then decided to play along with Josh’s story.

“Yeah you know, just all those teenage hormones flying about. It was bound to happen at some point. Josh took his shirt off while he was drumming and that was it for me.”

“Tyler was like an animal; we actually ended up making love _on_ the drums-“

“Har har har,” Brendon said bluntly, cutting Josh off as he finally regained the ability to speak. Jack's shoulders shook as he chuckled.

“We got fooled, son.” He said, jabbing Brendon in the ribs lightly. Jenna had a hand over her mouth again but this time she was trying to contain laughter. Tyler smiled as the atmosphere lifted; no more fingers being pointed at him and Josh. Brendon, however, pursed his lips unwilling to give up. He walked with purpose back over to Tyler and flung his arm loosely around his shoulders again.

“Well even if you didn’t do anything, look at that face, Dun, you can’t deny that he isn’t head over heels for you.” Brendon taunted, prodding Tyler’s pink cheek with a finger. Tyler recoiled at the touch and that was the last straw for Josh.

“Piss off Brendon, it’s none of your fucking business.” Josh spat intimidatingly. Brendon’s hand shrunk away at the sudden change in tone and Jenna finally stepped in.

“Woah guys, calm down – why do you _always_ have to take it too far?” She shot a look at Brendon who shamelessly shrugged. Jack took a sly sidestep away from him but Jenna’s sharp eyes caught him mid-act. “I’m talking to you too, Jack.”

It was like her motherly instincts suddenly kicked in and she just couldn’t help but give them a lecture. Tyler took the opportunity to have a chat with Josh and grabbed his arm to turn him away from the others.

“You okay Ty?” Josh questioned worriedly, reaching out and ghosting his fingers over Tyler’s forearm cautiously. It did  _not_ give him goosebumps.

Tyler shrugged, secretly happy that Josh was _this_ concerned for him. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. He just poked me so-“

“No, I mean about this morning.” Josh said softly.

“Y-yeah. Don’t worry about it. I know what it’s like with my dad so…” Tyler smiled sadly. Josh looked down.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want it to end like that.”He looked back up with a glimmer of something positive in his eyes. “I had such a great time last night though and I hope we can, uh, do it again? And maybe have another band practice?” Josh asked hopefully. Tyler chuckled – wondering if Josh knew he could never say no to him.

“Yeah! For sure! And uh, next time maybe I can try out the ukulele. What a great band we’re gonna be.” Tyler gave Josh a wonky smile and Josh grinned from ear to ear in return – doing the signature squinty thing with his eyes. _‘God, he’s adorable,’_ Tyler couldn’t help but think. Josh’s eyes suddenly widened as he remembered something.

“Oh, dude! I got your shoes!” He said, pointing down at the ground and striking a pose. Tyler snorted as he saw his battered converse being modelled on Josh’s feet. “I thought we could do a swapsies.” Josh said innocently while still looking down at his feet, unaware of how cute he sounded.

Tyler beamed. “Thanks dude! I was missing them – sorry but honestly I’m not much of a fashion guy myself,” Tyler put a hand on his hip and moved into a purposefully awkward and brief version of Josh’s pose; sticking his foot and butt out in opposite directions. Tyler heard a wolf whistle from behind him and jumped around to see Jack pouting and making eyes at him. Josh shunted forwards, ready to shout some profanities at him but Tyler whipped out his arm and stopped Josh in his tracks. Tyler balled his hand into a fist and flicked his middle finger up, holding it there confidently as the two heard a faint "Oh snap!” from Brendon before Jenna forced their attention back with a quick click of her fingers.

“I didn’t know the cat had claws.” Josh said wide-eyed and impressed. Tyler turned back to him and pulled his hand up to his mouth, blowing on the tip of his middle finger as if it were a gun.

“What can I say? I’m a bad boy now.” Tyler shrugged, putting his hands on his hips and smirking crookedly. Josh raised an eyebrow.

“You’re literally the least bad person I know.” He stated, crossing his arms.

“I’m bad as heck,” Tyler tried defending himself but realised as the words left his mouth that he just proved Josh right. Regretting his word choice, Tyler shook his head before Josh could say anything else. “Yeah well you should be feeling guilty for leading me astray – this is all your fault. Your hair dye, muscles and bisexual ways have put me onto a path of sin.” Tyler said dramatically and Josh snorted.

“My muscles? How have my muscles caused you to sin?”

Tyler stared blankly into the distance for a second with his lips pursed. “Anyway, you were saying about swapping shoes?” Tyler said in a high pitched voice before dropping down and undoing his laces.

Josh peered down at Tyler. “What happened to ‘Mr. I’m Gonna Wear My Heart On My Sleeve’, huh?”

“Shoes. Now.” Tyler commanded, moving onto the other sneaker. Josh rolled his eyes and huffed but bent down and complied. They swapped shoes quickly, wanting to spend the least amount of time as possible on the gum-covered concrete. Tyler wiggled his toes in his shabby but comfortable hi-tops, feeling the heat from Josh warm his toes.

“You guys are adorable-“

“You’re my goals!” Brendon and Jack called over from where Jenna was talking to them. Tyler saw her roll her eyes and put her hands up in the air in defeat.

“They never learn.” Josh shook his head in mock disappointment and Tyler laughed.

“Come on, let’s go. Bell’s gonna go any second.” Tyler prompted, patting a hand on Josh’s back. Even with his worn out soles, Tyler felt he had an extra spring in his step. Now, the school gates seemed to look just like normal school gates and not the start of end of the world. Tyler wondered if he was just giddy from the lack of sleep but it was a different feeling to that. Warmer, somehow. Any other person could probably pinpoint this as _love_ , but of course, Tyler put it down to a mix of the heat, rabid hunger and sleep deprivation. Sweet, sweet love.

* * *

 

Tyler watched the little hand on the clock tick round as he slowly zipped up his pencil case. The lunch bell was going to go in approximately one minute and he was desperate to get out of those halls before they got clogged up with other students. He pulled his bag closer to his body and tipped numerous books and folders into it while pretending to look interested in what the teacher was saying as she wound up the lesson. The bell suddenly sounded and caught Tyler off-guard as he embarrassingly jumped in his seat before regaining his posture and hastily grabbing his bag off of the desk. He weaved past his slow-moving classmates, ravenous for food; the burning hunger in his stomach just making him more cranky when people wouldn’t get the _hell out of the way_. It also made his behaviour in his next interaction seem slightly more plausible.

“Hey, Tyler.” Alex appeared from no-where right into Tyler’s line of sight. If he hadn’t, Tyler would have probably crashed into him considering the speed he was going. Tyler stopped in his tracks and gave him a glare.

“Alex.” He said bluntly, keeping his expression neutral in hopes that Alex would just leave him alone.

“Uh so I heard you’re going to Brendon’s party tomorrow.” Alex said almost painfully awkwardly.

“Yeah what of it?” Tyler replied curtly, not even pretending to be engaged by the conversation. Why was Alex bothering to make small talk at all?

“I just wanted to say sorry… for everything. And I hope I’ll see you there... Buddy.” Alex smiled weakly and playfully knocked Tyler’s shoulder. Tyler took a step back and heard some unfiltered thoughts make their way out of his mouth.

“What the _hell_ is going on.”

Alex quickly shoved his hand back into his jean pocket and looked down. Tyler thought he might’ve even been embarrassed.

“I said I’m sorry, okay.” He mumbled at his feet.

 _Wrong move, Alex.’_ Tyler thought. He was definitely _not_ in the mood to accept some half-arsed apology and definitely _not_  one from Alex Gaskarth.

“I don’t believe that for a second now can you kindly fuck off.” Tyler shunted forwards to slide past him but Alex sidestepped and blocked his path.

“No I mean it.” Alex said with more urgency in his voice. Tyler folded his arms and tried his best to stare down the taller boy. “I- uh, I really regret treating you like that just cause you’re shy and not good with banter a-and you’re probably not even a f- gay but what I’m trying to say is-“

“I’m pansexual.” Tyler interrupted monotonously. He didn’t really know why he said that, maybe it was because he had the upper-hand and wanted to shock Alex. Maybe it was because he was tired.

“O-oh. Um. Okay, cool.” Alex rocked back on his heels awkwardly, obviously not knowing what that meant.

“You were saying.” Tyler prompted unsupportively.                                 

“Oh right. I uh, I think I was just letting all my anger and self-doubt out and it came in the form of b-bullying you but I’ve done some thinking and I’ve realised some stuff-“

“I didn’t ask for your life story Alex, get to the point.” Tyler said, tapping his foot impatiently. Upon reflection, Tyler would’ve regretted being so harsh towards Alex when he was opening up to him – but this guy had made him feel like crap for years and he wasn’t in the forgiving mood. It felt good to feel superior for once.

Tyler watched contently as Alex huffed and sucked up his pride. “I’m sorry and I hope we can be friends again.” Tyler narrowed his eyes.

“Were we ever friends?” His voice cracked a little and he cursed himself. He was not gonna choke up over this douchebag.

“…yeah?” Alex replied quietly. Tyler gulped and looked around the nearly empty classroom for an escape route. The fact that Alex turned his reply into question just proved Tyler’s point.

 “Alex – look. I appreciate you trying to make this right but you’re obviously kidding yourself, so whatever weird crisis you’re going through right now that made you want to apologise to me – good luck with that. I don’t particularly wanna be friends with you but you’re welcome to try if you really meant what you said. Now I gotta be off, I’m starving.” Tyler motioned towards the exit and Alex silently let him through - shocked at his articulate outburst. Tyler shuffled through the narrow path between the desks and the back wall of the classroom before finally breathing a sigh of relief at the door. Then he sucked it back in again when he was thrown into a chaotic sea of students.

Tyler dodged and shuffled so much he felt like he was back on the basketball courts until he finally gave up and went along with the slow zombie-like pace of the other students. Suddenly he felt a nip on his shirt and looked over his shoulder to find Josh Dun and his gleaming smile staring back at him.

Josh slid forwards and squeezed round so he was shoulder to shoulder with Tyler, not letting go of his shirt in fear of being swept away metaphorical tide.

“You alright buddy?” Tyler laughed as Josh shrugged his shoulders up to his ears in an attempt to fit his biceps into the small space that the crowd had allowed.

“Geez, I feel like I’m in the pit-“

“In the what?” Tyler called disinterestedly, spotting a nearly empty fallout hallway to their left.

“The pit at a-“ Josh began before Tyler reached down to grab his hand. Upon finding Josh’s hand was still attached to his shirt, Tyler ended up just slapping Josh’s wrist in an attempt to alert him that he was going to try and move across to the hallway he scouted. Josh released his grip momentarily, confused by Tyler’s gesture, before hastily bunching his fist around as much material as he could as Tyler began to push through the crowd.

“Tyler wait!” Josh called out, tripping over multiple people’s shoes but still managing to keep his outstretched arm holding tightly onto Tyler.

“Hang on,” Tyler called back as he came to a sudden stop to avoid crashing into a mildly overweight teacher and his piping hot coffee. He flashed a smile at the scowling middle-aged man who waddled past at his own pace; other students almost falling over each other to avoid a scalding, or worse – a detention. Tyler felt Josh’s knuckles bump against his lower back through his shirt, indicating that Josh’s body had finally caught up with his hand. They were now about four paces away from the smaller hallway but not before a string of students who were walking the _other way_ along the side-lines.

“’Scuse me, please,” Tyler called out as he dragged Josh along diagonally; sliding in front of two girls with ease while Josh stumbled and ended up smacking into one of their folders.

“Oh my gosh s-sorry,” Josh stuttered, letting go of Tyler’s shirt and rebounding to where the girl’s folder had exploded and papers were landing on the dirty floor. Josh hastily grabbed the papers a few at a time and shoved them against his chest, crumpling the majority in the process. Tyler had become aware of the situation and was now crouched on the floor helping the girl pick up the rest of the papers along with her friend, arranging them in a neat pile. They were talking but Josh couldn’t hear over the busy hallway and the pounding in his ears. Josh let his hands fall from his chest and stared down at the brown smudged, trodden on, and now scrunched up coursework that probably took this girl hours to finish. Josh suddenly felt himself falling into a familiar sense of dread and self-loathing.

_‘I fucked something up again. What if the deadline is today. What if this girl’s future is ruined because of me-‘_

“Josh, you okay?” Tyler was suddenly by his side and putting a gentle hand on the trembling boy’s shoulder. Josh flinched, not saying anything in fear that he might cry. Tyler searched his expression with his brows raised slightly in a sympathetic way, slowly bringing his hands up to the mound of papers in Josh’s grip. “It’s fine, you’re fine. It wasn’t your fault and she’s not mad, I promise.” He said softly, nipping the edge of the papers with his thumbs and forefingers. Josh nodded reluctantly and gulped, still flustered. Slowly, Tyler pulled the papers from Josh’s loose grip and used his own thigh as a platform to soothe them out on. Flashing an encouraging smile at Josh, he walked back over to the girl to return her papers – which she accepted gratefully before continuing to talk with Tyler.

Josh stayed glued to the spot with his fists balled as they chatted, beating himself up because he couldn’t even go and apologize to her fully. He just stood there like a socially inept weirdo while Tyler talked _for_ him. Tyler waved a hand, signalling the end of their conversation and started back towards Josh. Josh wished he hadn’t seen the confused look on the girl’s face when she looked at him and whispered to her friend as they went past – but he did.

 _‘Don’t let it ruin your day, don’t let it ruin your day.’_ Josh chanted in his head as he looked up and put a brave face.

“You alright now, Josh?” Tyler asked for the thousandth time today, somehow still sounding genuinely concerned. Josh sighed and started walking down the empty hallway, Tyler following at his heels.

“You got on with her well.” Josh said, sounding slightly bitterer than he had intended. He just wanted to change the subject but at the same time he was sulking selfishly at the fact that Tyler went to talk to a random girl instead of his best friend who was on the brink of an anxiety attack.

Tyler laughed nervously, “Well she’s cute, but she’s not my type.” He nudged Josh with his right elbow but the other boy just pursed his lips and looked ahead.

Tyler swallowed hard and looked away. He didn’t _think_ he had done anything wrong… had he? Tyler wiped a sweaty palm on his jeans as he tried thinking of a way to correct the situation.

“Josh ask me what my type is.” He blurted out, looking back over at the silent boy. Josh’s tight lips relaxed a little and parted.

“What?” A small smile was threatening to appear on his face and Tyler grinned, encouraging it further.

“Just ask me.” Tyler teased. Josh rolled his eyes.

“Okay. What’s your type.” Josh stated almost in monotone.

Tyler shrugged happily, shifting the placement of his backpack with his hands on the straps. He looked a bit like an excited child. “Oh you know.” He started casually, “I usually go for people with red sneakers and uh,” Tyler was struggling to hide his smile and quickly glanced down at Josh’s outfit for reference, “black ripped skinny jeans, faded messy pink hair and nose rings.” He finished, looking back up at Josh with a cheeky smirk on his face.

Josh couldn’t help but laugh and bumped his shoulder with Tyler’s as he brought his hands up to cover his blushing face. Tyler swelled at the reaction, puffing his chest out proudly.

“Tyler!” Josh whined shaking his head quickly as he removed his hands. Suddenly his expression was serious. “I can’t believe you said my hair is messy.” Josh exclaimed in mock anger, not even bothering to dampen his happy tone for comedic effect. Tyler snorted trying to hold back a laugh.

“I never said I was talking about _you_.” Tyler replied in the same tone. Looks like he was finally getting a hold of this banter thing, huh.

Josh bit his bottom lip and looked away, hiding his smile and trying to think up something to throw back at Tyler. “Yeah well…” he started, looking forward at the now-approaching double doors that lead to the field. “Your mom!” He shouted, pushing Tyler’s shoulder and breaking into a sprint. Tyler stumbled in surprise but quickly regained his composure and started running himself, his squeaking converse echoing through the hallway.

“I WAS JUST. TRYING. TO BE. ROMANTIC!” He shouted in-between breaths, reaching his arm out as he began to catch up with Josh. Josh tipped his head up to the ceiling and laughed heartily. Tyler took the opportunity to slap him on the back of the head as he overtook him, letting out a manic laugh himself.

“HEY!” Josh exclaimed, putting one hand up to his head and swiping the other in an attempt to yank Tyler’s backpack (and missed).

“You snooze you-“ Tyler started calling cockily before looking in front of him and realising that the doors were far too close for the speed he was going at. Quickly he threw his hands up and squeezed his eyes shut, planting his heels into the floor which caused a painfully long squeak to ring out through the hall.

“OOF!” Tyler slammed into the door and ricocheted back, stumbling and falling onto Josh who had managed to slow down because – unlike Tyler – he isn’t a competitive piece of trash.

Tyler’s legs scrambled as Josh held him awkwardly by an elbow and forearm – looking like they had just done a trust exercise that back-fired completely.

“…Tyler? Josh?” The two snapped their heads up and looked past the smudge Tyler had left on the glass part of the door to find Brendon and Dallon holding hands with equally confused expressions on their faces.

“Oh great.” Tyler mumbled as Josh helped him back up onto his feet. Brendon pushed open the heavy door with his free hand.

“What’s going on here?” He questioned authoritatively, going to cross his arms then putting them back down again when he remembered he was holding Dallon’s hand.

Tyler and Josh shared a brief glance, as if debating without words on whether to lie or not. “Tyler walked into the door.” Josh spoke first, nodding in the direction of the infamous face-smudge. Tyler gave Josh a salty look as Brendon and Dallon turned to look at the print he had left on the glass. Josh shrugged. They didn't need to come up with elaborate lies for their friends and it was kinda funny - you have to admit.

“Duude how did you manage _that?_ ” Brendon said, reaching out to touch it.

“Bren, stop.” Dallon said seriously batting his boyfriend’s hand away and reaching into his pocket for his phone. “I _need_ to document this. It’s like when birds fly into windows but ten times better. Brendon go round the back, I'm sending a pic to the group chat.”

Brendon hopped around the door and crouched down, smiling hugely and putting two thumbs up. Tyler rolled his eyes and Josh laughed.

“Come on lets  _go_  I’m starving.” Tyler whined, making his way over to the door. Dallon straightened up after taking a few action shots and slid his phone back into his pocket.

“Whatever you say, birdman.” Dallon teased, following him out the door.

 Tyler did a little stomp. “Stoppp.” He moaned, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Don’t get so butt-hurt, Joseph, it’s just a joke.” Brendon said matter-of-factly, grabbing a hold of Dallon’s hand once again. Josh hopped down the steps and walked behind the two over to Tyler’s side. Tyler couldn’t help but feel smug at the fact that Josh went out of his way to walk beside  _him_  and suddenly he wasn’t so ‘butt-hurt’ anymore. Tyler was  _so_ competitive and it was unbelievable.

“Well speaking of jokes,” he began, changing the subject as they walked on the grass, “Do you wanna tell me why  _Alex Gaskarth_  is invited to _your_  party?” Josh’s head shot up at the mention of a name and he eyed Brendon suspiciously.

“Dude chill, he said he’d bring weed for free if I let him come. I dunno why he’d wanna hang in the first place though ‘cause none of us really like him – but I really like weed so.” Brendon explained dismissively. “Why, you got a problem with him? I thought he was in your basketball team.”

“N-no. Not really.” Tyler stuttered, thrown off at the mention of weed. Josh gave him a nervous glance at the lie which prompted Tyler to continue. “I uh, he bullied me quite a bit and last week he trashed my locker and wrote f-fag above it in graffiti.” Brendon’s face fell and he looked at the floor. “O-oh. I’m sorry, Ty. Do you want me to un-invite him or?”

“Nah. It’s good. He actually apologised to me earlier. If you can believe that.” Tyler said, sounding surprised himself.

“Really.” Josh spoke up, unconvinced.

“Y-yeah. He said he wanted to be ‘friends again’ and he had this whole speech planned. I kinda cut him off though because I thought he wasn’t being serious, but now I look back…” Tyler trailed off. “I mean, I said no, obviously – but the past is the past and I don’t wanna shut him down if he’s actually trying to turn over a new leaf or whatever.” Tyler shrugged, clinging onto the straps of his backpack again. Josh wondered if he did that when he’s nervous.

“The past is the past?” Josh challenged, thinking back to when he found Tyler sobbing naked in a shower stall, “What past? Last week? Tyler, he hasn’t changed. He’s up to something.”

Tyler looked at Brendon for help, but he had swayed closer to Dallon and was now staring intently at the floor in front of him as he walked. Tyler squeezed the straps to his bag as he thought for a second. “Well… even if he hasn’t changed and he  _is_  up to something, I don’t care. I have all new, amazing friends and I don’t need to put up with his bullshit anymore. He can’t hurt me. If anything,  _I’m_  the one who’s changed – for the better.” Tyler finished, glancing left and right at his friends. Josh’s cold expression was now warmed and Brendon and Dallon were smiling at him sweetly.

“Stop before you make me cry, dude.” Brendon announced, wiping an imaginary tear off of his cheekbone.

“You wish.” Tyler chuckled, letting his hands fall to his sides and sway with his gait. He didn’t realise it up until now, but maybe he  _had_  really changed.  _‘I have changed, haven’t I.’_  He thought euphorically, looking over at Josh who was now mocking Brendon with a sly grin on his face.  _‘I think I like this new me.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joshler is happening soon my frens, soon


	13. Flying With No Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Tyler spruces himself up  
> \- Zack gets Nosy  
> \- Manspread your heart out  
> \- Everything is Blue  
> \- Rest In Piece, Good Hair  
> \- Josh's Sweet Ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is like the pre-drinks to the party. Enjoy Tyler being flustered all the time x

Friday night arrived inevitably and Tyler had busied himself with spiking his hair up in front of the bathroom mirror while The Killers blasted out of his tinny phone speakers on the sink below. Striving for perfection, he tilted his head and ran his fingers through it one last time before grabbing his toothbrush out of a stripy patterned mug. After squeezing out a generous amount of toothpaste, he shoved the bristled brushes into his mouth and leant against the sink. With his free hand he soothed down his new red t-shirt and checked his belt, humming softly along to ‘Somebody Told Me’ which was them interrupted by his phone vibrating grittily against the porcelain surface. Tyler quickly snatched it up, leaving his toothbrush dangling lopsidedly out of his mouth.

 **Music class jish** : U still coming tonight? Its gonna be SICK! X

Tyler grinned, nearly dribbling some toothpaste down onto his freshly ironed t-shirt. Tonight was the night of Brendon’s ‘epic’ (as the hype predicted) party and Tyler was as excited as ever. Technically he hadn’t been to any parties before this one, even though Alex, Rian and Zack went to plenty. They’d always conveniently ‘forget to invite him’, which was fine by Tyler. He’d only ever end up following them around until they either got off with girls got kicked out. Tonight, however, Tyler will be in control, Tyler will be with  _his_  friends, and most importantly Tyler will have  _fun_. He leant back against the sink and smugly typed his reply.

 **Me** : Yeah! SO SICK! U still picking me up? Have no clue where bren lives so pls X

“TYLER, hurry  _up!_  I gotta take a shower!” Zack’s whiny voice penetrated the thin walls and Tyler groaned, twisting round to turn on faucet and spit. “DID YOU HEAR ME?” Zack followed up at an unnecessarily loud volume, suddenly opening the door. Tyler sucked in a breath and spun around to face him angrily, toothbrush in one hand and phone in the other.

“YES!?” He hissed through his teeth as his brother stood expectantly by the doorway in his sweaty basketball gear. Tyler made a mental note to bring up the subject of introducing a 'lock' to the bathroom door at the dinner table sometime.

Zack briefly looked Tyler up and down, keeping his expression neutral as if he was trying to remember what was  _so_  important that Tyler was taking up his Friday night shower-slot for. He wiped his hands on his shorts and Tyler stayed frozen, waiting for Zack to give him  _any_  excuse to  _physically force_  him out of the room.

In one quick motion, Zack turned to shut the door, strode up to Tyler and reached up to a shelf behind him for some hairspray. Tyler was about to unleash his pure rage but stopped short as Zack suddenly aimed the can at his head. Tyler jumped back with a yelp and nearly knocked himself out by throwing up his hand to cover his eyes, dropping the toothbrush but smashing his phone up against his brow bone. Hairspray and eyes were not a good combination and Tyler had to learn that the hard way. Zack tutted at his brother’s melodramatic reaction.

“Tyler we’re not kids anymore, I’m not gonna  _blind_  you.” Zack said defensively. Tyler dared to spread his fingers and look through the slits, searching his brother’s unimpressed expression wearily. “You’re going to a party, right?” Zack continued, ignoring his brother’s distrust. Tyler nodded – still keeping his hands over his face (just in case). “Well, you’re gonna need more product in your hair if you want it to stay up the whole night, and  _especially_  if you’re gonna get drunk.” Zack explained impatiently, still holding the can up.

It was common knowledge in the Joseph household that Zack went to  _way_  more parties than Tyler and was therefore, in his father’s eyes, the ‘favourite child’. It was never explicitly said, but it became obvious to Tyler that his dad only cared about two things: status and basketball. It was only after this revelation that Tyler started flunking classes that he wasn’t bothered with because basketball was his future and it would be pointless to put effort into anything else – especially now that he has a scholarship lined up. Tyler was just grateful that Zack’s popularity had paved the way so that his parents were cool with him going out to a party – so long as he didn’t come home paralytic.

Tyler thought for a second before shrugging. “Go ahead.” He mumbled into his wrists and squeezed his fingers shut once again. Zack shook the can and sprayed a fair amount before stepping back and admiring his work.

“There. You scrub up pretty well, my dude.” Zack said amusedly. Tyler slowly withdrew his hands when he deemed it safe enough and turned around to face the mirror, placing his phone back on the sink.

“Thanks.” He said with finality, expecting Zack to leave him to get ready in peace. Zack had other plans.

“So this person you like,” Zack continued casually, moving round to the side of the sink to be out of Tyler’s way, “they’re coming to the party?”

Tyler shot him a glance. “How do you know I like someone?” he asked suspiciously, carrying on Zack’s choice to use  _specific_  gender neutral terms. Something was definitely up.

“Oh, I guess... I just assumed you liked someone since you’ve only just ‘discovered’ your sexuality now. I thought most people know that they’re gay from, like, birth – but you’re not gay so… ” Zack said reducing his volume and pretending to be interested in the pattern of the toothbrush holder.

Tyler sighed and looked back into the mirror, testing the bounciness of his hair with a palm. “I suppose you could say that. Yeah.” He admitted casually before bending down to pick his toothbrush up off of the cold tiles.

Zack opened his mouth to ask something else – undoubtedly something intrusive about Tyler’s sexuality or personal life - but was suddenly interrupted by Tyler’s phone vibrating again. Tyler shot up, toothbrush in hand, and snatched it off the sink but not before Zack could nosily read the name that flashed across the screen.

“Music class jish? What kind of a name is jish?” He questioned dismissively, going back to tracing his finger along the pattern of the toothbrush holder.

“It’s not, his name is Josh. That’s just a nickname.” Tyler sighed and turned away from him as he opened the text.

 **Music class jish** : Yea dude I’ll be at urs in like 15 X

Tyler smiled excitedly, briefly wondering what Josh would be like drunk.  _‘Probably a cute freakin' idiot.’_ He thought, biting his bottom lip to try and hide the smile he just couldn’t scrape off.

“Why are you smiling like that, what did he say?” Zack pried, leaning over to see if he could read the text. Tyler responded by angling his phone away and pulling his hands up to his chest.

“None of your business, Zack.” He snapped, drawing his eyes back down to the phone screen. Zack set down the mug and crossed his arms over his chest. He cocked his head curiously at Tyler's tone, debating on whether he should do the-annoying-brotherly-thing and press further. He watched intently as Tyler’s tongue flicked out of the side of his mouth in concentration while he typed his reply and decided against it. Tyler looked too happy right now. Letting his arms fall loosely at his sides, he wandered towards the door.

“Well, have a good time then. I hope the person you like notices you.” He said sincerely, hand resting on the doorknob.

“What?” Tyler questioned disinterestedly. Zack looked over his shoulder to see that Tyler still staring down at his phone screen with eyebrows knotted, using up around 80% of his energy in unnecessary concentration. Zack chuckled, rolling his eyes then pulled open the door.

“Never mind.”

* * *

 

Tyler jogged down the stairs, running a hand whimsically down the smooth wooden banister before hopping off at the bottom step and grabbing a hoodie from the coat rack. Phone and twenty dollars in hand, he pulled his arms through the sleeves and (once his hand had resurfaced) quickly checked the time. 19:09pm.

 _'Josh’ll be here soon.’_  He thought with (good) butterflies in his stomach, shoving the phone and cash hastily into his pocket then adjusting the hoodie so it sat correctly on his shoulders. Tyler then turned his attention to the multiple sets of shoes left messily by the door, wondering what would go best with his current outfit. He was singling out some possible choices when his father appeared from out of the living room with a newspaper tucked under his arm. He was a big man with dark hair similar to Tyler, only with a couple more greys and a slightly receded hairline. He was also wearing some black sweatpants in blatant denial of no longer being a sports coach and no longer being in shape.

“Ah, Tyler, just who I wanted to see.” His voice boomed with authority and caused Tyler jumped round nervously. Whenever his dad spoke to him it made him paranoid as hell. Even ‘pass the milk’ was enough to make his heart thunder around in his chest for an unreasonable amount of time.

The older man peered down his glasses patronisingly before turning back into the living room, prompting Tyler to follow. Tyler gulped and padded slowly along the floor in his white trainer socks - automatically assuming that he was in some sorts of trouble.

He entered the room reluctantly to find his mother sitting neatly on the couch staring blankly at a brightly coloured children’s cartoon that was being played on the television for Maddie and Jay who were cutely sitting side-by-side on the rug in front of her. As her husband and son entered the room she turned her head and gave them a sweet smile whereas Tyler’s siblings continued to gawp at the screen, uninterested of anything happening outside of the happy sunshine-filled world where no-one got sad.  _'Same.'_  Tyler sighed in his mind - dreading the day when they'd finally have to grow up. Growing up sucks.

“Take a seat,” His dad huffed, relaxing into the space next to his wife. Tyler sat on the single chair available beside him and crossed one leg over the other. He couldn't relax. This felt more like a student-teacher conference than a friendly chat with parents.  _'Can take the man out of the teaching job but can't take the teacher out of the man.'_  Tyler thought, grimacing.

“Now, Tyler we know that you don’t go to many – don’t sit like that son,” He cut himself off harshly and gestured to Tyler’s chosen sitting position. “That’s how women sit.” He said bluntly, scowling as Tyler scrambled to undo his legs and manspread like he’s never manspreaded before.

“Sorry.” Tyler mumbled and slouched a little in his seat, hoping that was enough to get his father off of his back. His dad sighed and leant forwards to get a better look at his son, putting his elbows on his knees. His mother linked her fingers over her crossed leg and continued to sit in silence, giving Tyler a sad but encouraging smile - one she wore far too often.

“Now, what was I saying… oh yes - Tyler, we know you don’t go to many parties and we don’t want to be like those over-protective parents who won’t let their kids go out and have some fun… but we do just want to lay out some ground rules.” Tyler gulped, weary of what was about to come next.

“Don’t drink too much, don’t let anyone who’s been drinking drive you home and…” He leaned back and rustled around in his pocket for a second, retrieving a small object. At first Tyler thought it was money and he sat up eagerly, opening his palm on his lap subtly so not to seem rude or expectant, but as his father reached out and dropped the mysterious shiny package into his open palm Tyler’s face fell. It was a condom. “I know we’re Christian, but we’re not that Christian! Just be safe – and don’t go getting any girls pregnant, hey!” His dad bellowed as Tyler and his mom smiled forcedly.

“You definitely won’t need to worry about  _tha-at!"_  Zack sung from the direction of the kitchen, forcing the forced smile from Tyler’s face for a split second before he plastered it back on and laughed.

“OH Zack, what a joker!” His eyes flicked between his mom and his dad as the uncomfortable laughter died down, choosing when it would be appropriate to change the subject. “-But really, its fine, I’m pretty responsible and uh, I won't be needing this,” He said, lifting up off his seat slightly to pass the foreign object back to his dad. His father just kept his hands on his knees and scowled, dampening the mood again.

“Tyler, this is not a discussion.” He said sternly, forcing Tyler to retreat and shove the condom in his hoodie pocket. His father opened his mouth again to continue lecturing his son, but was cut off by the doorbell sounding.

Tyler’s heart pounded and he looked at his dad, waiting politely to be excused. Suddenly he heard footsteps to the door and  _‘-Oh my God, Zack’s talking to Josh!?’_

“Hey, uh, is Tyler home?” Josh’s voice was comforting even though he sounded nervous and Tyler looked frantically back at his father, jogging his leg slightly. He doesn't want Josh meeting his fucked up family just yet. His dad gave him a slow nod, exercising his authority, and Tyler wasted no time in racing towards the door.

“Yeah. And you are?”

“Oh, I'm J-“

“HEY! I’m here, I’m uh, let’s go.” Tyler rambled, shoving past Zack who was leaning against the doorframe.

“What, without any shoes on?” Josh chuckled accusingly. Tyler glanced down at his socked feet and heard Zack snicker. He shot his brother a 'go away' look before locking eyes with Josh for the first time this evening. Tyler froze as his eyes shifted upwards. Josh was wearing his signature black ripped jeans and a short-sleeved blue button up shirt with a cute stick on bow-tie, but his hair was  _blue._

“J-Josh? Your hair?” Tyler stuttered, looking the shorter boy over. “It’s blue?”

Josh smiled and reached up, ruffling it slightly and twirling a strand in between his thumb and forefinger, just like he had the first time they met. “Yeah,” he breathed happily, “You like it?”

“Y-yeah I love it- I mean it’s, yeah it’s nice.” Tyler continued to stutter, wondering whether he’d ever regain his composure around Josh. He just kept catching him off guard – it wasn’t Tyler’s fault. Josh bit his lip as Tyler continued to gawp at his hair, feeling the pause stretch into silence.

“Thanks, uh, you gonna get your shoes on?” He questioned, bobbing his head slightly to draw Tyler’s attention from it.

“Oh yep-yeah.” He twirled around to find Zack still standing smugly by the door. Tyler shot him another glance that said  _‘don’t you dare.’_  Even though Tyler wasn’t sure what he’d do – whatever it was Tyler didn’t want  _it_  to happen. He grabbed a pair of grey sneakers and sat on the bottom step of their stairs, pulling them onto his feet as quickly as he could. Zack sauntered over and draped an arm over the banister, grinning smugly. Tyler tried desperately to ignore him as he did up his laces, but the intense nature of his brother’s stares got the better of him.

“What Zack!?” He whisper-shouted, aware that Josh was only a few feet away from them.

Zack widened his grin and bent down slowly to whisper into Tyler’s ear. “You like a  _guy_  who’s also a  _punk?_  Good luck explaining that to mom and dad.” He quickly straightened up before Tyler could hit him, and sidestepped as he stormed towards the door. “Go get em’ tiger!” Zack shouted at full volume, smacking Tyler on the ass before fleeing up the stairs. You could practically see the steam coming off of Tyler’s head as he grinded his teeth in the direction that Zack had vanished from.

“What was all that about?” Josh questioned innocently, poking his head round the door. Tyler quickly relaxed his expression, turned around and smiled - hoping that Josh didn’t catch him thinking about who would care if his brother suddenly went ‘missing’. Tyler shuffled towards the door and forced Josh to take a step back, scared that another family member would appear from nowhere and embarrass him further.

“Nothing, nothing, you ready to go?” He stepped outside and swung the door shut behind him forcefully as if it was the only safe border between Josh and his family. Tyler looked around, realising that it was already dark. It was a little chilly, but peacefully quiet in contrast to his household and Tyler finally started to relax. He checked the door and turned to find Josh standing on his porch fiddling with his fingers. Even in the dim artificial lighting where the shadows played on all the wrong parts of his face, Tyler still thought that Josh looked like the best thing in the world.

“Yeah, uh, you look nice.” Josh said quietly lifting his head up and letting his arms swing at his sides. Tyler smiled and glanced down at the concrete floor.

“Y-yeah you too buddy.” He hoped Josh couldn’t see his blush in the weird lighting – unknowing that Josh was thinking the exact same thing. Josh started to turn around but suddenly stopped and did a comical double-take. Tyler stared at him worriedly,  _‘Have I got something on my top? Oh my God are my flies undone?’_  He thought in a panic, snapping his head down to search his outfit.

“Is that… my hoodie?” Josh said slowly. Tyler froze.

“Uh… yeah?” Tyler replied at the same tempo, trying desperately to think up an excuse for kidnapping Josh’s hoodie. “I-I uh, I wanted to give it back to you!” He exclaimed, quickly unzipping it.

“O-oh, you don’t have t-“ Josh began to protest, but Tyler scooped out his phone and money and shoved it into Josh’s arms.

“No no no I just forgot I had it so I, uh, put it on… so I wouldn’t forget.” Tyler said unconvincingly, sliding his belongings into his back pocket and shivering slightly against the cool breeze. 

“Thanks, man.” Josh smiled, pulling it on and ruining the outfit he had so carefully picked out (to match his hair). Josh was just too polite to object, especially after how flustered Tyler got. “You wanna go then?” Josh quickly suggested, and Tyler jumped back to life at the change of subject.

“Yeah dude! I’m so pumped!” He grinned, triggering Josh to smile too as they stepped off of Tyler’s porch and into the yellowy street lights.

“I heard Brendon’s dad gave him unlimited access to his bar too – the dude has a  _bar!”_  Josh exclaimed, feeding off of Tyler's enthusiasm and throwing his hands up in disbelief.

“Duuude that is actually sick,” Tyler replied excitedly before looking around at the middle-class houses that littered his neighbourhood. “So is his family like rich then?” He asked curiously, thinking of the crinkled twenty dollar bill sitting in his back pocket that he had so reluctantly brought in case anyone decided to order pizza.

“Well the guy has a pool  _and_  a bar – whaddya think.” Josh joked. Tyler frowned, thinking for a second.

“How far away does he live then ‘cause I don’t know  _anyone_  in the area with a pool. And my brother’s been to a lot of parties.” Tyler mentally kicked himself after the words left his mouth.  _‘Do you wanna make yourself look like any more of a loser or are you done?’_

“Weeell,” Josh said, skipping ahead a little and hopping off the sidewalk. Tyler sped up, confused. “That’s where this baby comes in.” Josh announced, turning around and gesturing towards a sleek looking moped parked up neatly off the curb.

Tyler let his arms swing loosely at his sides as he tottered up to it with his mouth open. “No way!? How come you never told me you had one of these!?”

Josh puffed his chest out proudly, “I got it for my sixteenth but gas is expensive all hell these days, so I only bring it out on  _special occasions_.”

Tyler comically brought a hand up to his chest. “My, my, my, I'm so flattered.” Josh laughed and knocked Tyler on the shoulder, putting his hands in the hoodie pockets consciously. Tyler wandered around, inspecting the specimen curiously. His mom had forbidden him from driving or riding on a motorbike ever since her cousin got into an accident last year and broke both her legs - but technically this wasn't a motorbike. It was a moped.

“Tyler?” Josh called out, forcing the excited boy's attention away from the bike.

“Yep?” He answered, popping the P.

“You feeling lucky tonight?” Josh asked rhetorically, trying to keep a straight face.

“Uh… what?” Tyler replied, squinting at the dark to try and see whether Josh was being serious or not. Josh's dark silhouette slowly pulled a hand out of his hoodie pocket to reveal a small object that glistened silver when it hit the light. That’s right – it was the condom.

Tyler felt his heart drop and blood flush to his face as he instinctively reached out to snatch it. Josh quickly pulled it out of his grasp and put a hand on Tyler’s chest, keeping him at that distance. “Oh my God, JOSH! My _dad_ made me take that – n-now give it back!” Tyler pleaded, trying to hide his embarrassment in his laughter. Josh tipped his head up and laughed towards the sky, letting out a few bubbly hiccups of laughter as he tried composing himself. To Tyler's relief he withdrew his hand from his chest and chucked the condom in Tyler’s direction. Tyler scrambled trying to catch the thing, probably looking like he was playing an intense game of Hot Potato from an outsider's point of view. 

“C’mon Tyler, we’re gonna be later than fashionably late at this rate.” Josh laughed, pulling a helmet over his head. Tyler huffed, trying to regain what was left of his dignity and stomped towards the bike. He deliberated on whether or not he should just chuck the cursed condom down a drain and be done with the thing, but reluctantly decided to slide it back into his jean pocket - resenting himself for following his dad's instructions.  _'You never know...'_ Tyler thought sheepishly as he grabbed the other helmet off the seat,  _'Might come in handy one of these days...'_ He pulled the helmet over his head, pursing his lips as the cushioned lining pressed tightly against his head.  _'Rest in piece, good hair.'_

“Don’t be angry, baby boy.” Josh teased, swinging a leg round the bike. Tyler saw the suspension bob slightly under Josh’s weight as he got comfortable and started up the engine. Tyler stood awkwardly at the side, realising he had no idea what he was supposed to do. Josh’s helmet-ed face turned towards him and he grinned encouragingly – cheeks squishing cutely against the inside padding. “Hop on, dude, you’ll be fine!” He tried to say convincingly over the splutter of the bike’s exhaust. Tyler nervously placed a hand on the back seat and cocked his leg up, hopping on the spot a few times before he finally managed to get it around the bike. Putting his foot in the designated groove, he shuffled his bum onto the seat but panicked as the bike wobbled again, grabbing onto Josh’s shoulders for support.

“Hold on!” Josh called over his shoulder and unfortunately, for Tyler's poor heart, the bike started moving before he even had time to get his left foot secured.

“W-ait!” He exclaimed, nails digging into Josh’s shoulders as he started sliding back, leg dangling dangerously off the side. The bike swerved with the weird distribution of weight and Tyler let out a distressed noise – the kind of sound you hear on a rollercoster when people have nearly run out of air to scream. He swore it didn’t look this scary when other people rode their bikes to school, but Tyler was feeling pretty much like a ragdoll at the moment. He vaguely remembered wondering how the hell Josh got his licence.

Josh’s helmet turned to the side after hearing Tyler’s squeaks of protest and he slowed the bike down. Tyler flopped spinelessly against Josh’s back, grateful that they were going at a reasonable speed. Josh took one hand off the bike and reached up to Tyler’s hand on his shoulder, grabbing the cold fingers and guiding them down to his waist. Josh revved the bike again and they started to speed up. Tyler managing to come back to his senses just in time to snatch onto the material like it was his lifeline (because it basically was), absentmindedly throwing his other hand down there too to get a better grip. Tyler’s fingers curled and bunched up against the material experimentally, trying to concentrate on Josh’s warmth rather than the fast-moving world around him. Suddenly they turned a sharp corner and Tyler let out a gasp as he threw his arms across Josh’s stomach to avoid flying off the bike at top speed. He successfully linked his hands (despite how sweaty they were) and opened his eyes – not realising he had squeezed them shut in the first place. He felt the bike reach a steady speed as the two zoomed down a long empty street, and he allowed himself to smile - the fear finally disappearing. _‘I’m on a bike! I’m on a bike and I didn’t die!’_

He felt the wind pull against his dark eyelashes and tickle at his bare arms – but he didn’t feel cold. He felt more alive than ever. With every block they passed Tyler started to feel increasingly euphoric. In that moment he like he was finally escaping his troubles, his family, the pressure of his father – even himself and his own negative thoughts. He knew it was incredibly cliché, but he just couldn’t help sucking in a deep breath and letting out a massive war-cry which sounded like a mix of a scream and an odd musical note. Josh thought it was the best thing he had ever heard and pumped a fist in the air in approval. Tyler pressed his body against Josh’s and felt the other boy's shoulder dig into his Adam’s apple as he grinned wider than he had ever grinned before. Tyler thought there was even something poetic about the simple fact that the world around them was moving so fast but Tyler and Josh were together and going at the same pace. He wasn’t sure what it meant, but a part of him finally felt equal to Josh and he hoped that this ride would last forever.

He’d definitely have to make sense of that one in his lyric book, for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My my, since when did this story become cliche as hell? Sorry I'm bad at describing feelings so I'm playing it off like Tyler doesn't get his feelings either lmao come at me bro. But yeah. Party next. How bout that. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	14. House Of Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Welcome to the House Of Fun  
> \- With your host-with-the-most, Brendon Urie  
> \- Josh likes being called Joshie a little too much  
> \- Tyler grinds and spits some rhymes  
> \- Jealous! Tyler  
> \- Enter Alex Gaskarth  
> \- Whoomp, there it is.  
> \- Tyler's pizza prophecy is fulfilled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings loved ones, let's take a journey
> 
> Sorry for not updating for a while but Sixth Form man, Sixth Form... Anyways this chapter's a bit of a weird one, like it was supposed to be one big chapter but I had to split it up cause it was taking too long to write and this section is ALREADY lengthy as fuck so apologise my dears
> 
> Also shout out to my extras Alex Turner, Taylor Bagley and Marina Diamandis. Kudos if you can spot them xx

Tyler and Josh had pulled up to the party a bit later than expected, so (after fixing their tragic helmet-hair) they wasted no time in rushing through the magnificent back gates and wandering in single-file down a short winding alleyway by the side of Brendon’s house; speeding up as they heard the laughs and chatter of their peers – and more importantly, the loud ground-shaking music coming from inside.

Tyler sucked in a nervous breath as the side of the house gave way into Brendon’s incredibly crowded backyard and he was almost positive that he heard Josh do the same. In his head, Tyler had pictured the party as a more-or-less casual gathering of the guys he ate lunch with and a few others (like Alex) who had specifically asked to come along, so when he ran his eyes over the sea of unfamiliar faces he was shocked to say the least – and very seriously questioning his fashion choices.

Despite being initially taken aback, the boys soldiered on; inspecting the scene from afar as they tried to determine where it would be best to start the evening off. Tyler glanced over at the red-bricked house because – to be honest – it was quite hard not to. The building was _three stories high_ and had a balcony stretching across the _entire length_ of the second floor. It also stretched over the slated porch the boys were standing on and had a graceful wooden railing that was lovingly decorated with twinkling fairy lights, along with the garage roof that was an alleys-width away from the right side of the house. The garage itself was hardly a garage at all, in fact it was more like a small cottage and Tyler _wished_ he lived in something  _half as nice_ as Brendon’s garage. It had a few pretty vines crawling up the side of it, tickling the little white-lined window that was set slightly ajar to allow some thick cable-wires through that then winded down to a large sound-system below which was playing some mellow music for those who wanted to escape the party scene. _‘Wow, Brendon really thought about catering to his audience, huh.’_ Tyler thought as he spotted a phone connected to an aux chord on top of a speaker – presumably so the guests could be their own DJ.

Next In Tyler’s line of sight was the pool which was definitely the centrepiece of the area. Chairs, loungers and even beanbags were scattered over the lawn surrounding it; some being used by worn out teenagers taking a break whilst others were being used by those who just wanted to make out shamelessly. More people were standing around casually chatting in groups or pairs whilst clutching onto various alcoholic beverages in attempt to look more sociable and mature than they actually are; like they’re not just using the alcohol as a means to get drunk and are genuinely enjoying the bitter taste. Tyler tried his best not to be salty, so he moved on from the posers and glanced off into the distance.

The section of the backyard that was closest to the house (including the pool and the garage) was lit up prettily with the established fairy-lights and floor lamps, whereas the rest of the garden spilled into darkness. Tyler couldn’t even be completely sure that there  _was_  an end to the backyard since there weren’t any streetlights - let alone other houses visible to indicate that there was still a world outside of the island that Brendon’s house had become. Even with Tyler’s known hatred for the dark and all things that happened at night in general, he actually kind of… liked this.

The atmosphere created a harmless illusion somewhere in his brain that whatever happened at the party would stay at the party – like it was the only place on Earth and nothing existed beyond that. No parents, no school, and sure as hell no dumb basketball scholarship. All of this coupled with the fact that he couldn’t even pick out a single familiar face from the crowd made Tyler feel like he could be whoever he wanted to be without consequence. He didn’t have to be plain, shy, lonely, and tired Usual-Tyler. He could put the best version of himself forwards and be the new... Cool-Tyler.

By now the two had now spent far too long lingering on the outskirts of the party than was deemed socially-acceptable, so they began to slink towards the open double-doors in hopes of finding Brendon or  _literally anyone_ who would let the boys cling onto them in these trying, status-orientated times. A two-man friendship-group was never a good look at a party, no matter how much they enjoyed each other’s sole company.

“Dude, this is  _insane_?” Josh breathed, leaning into Tyler’s shoulder as they walked so the other could actually hear him over the music. “I literally don’t know anyone here. I didn’t realise Brendon was  _this_  popular.” He admitted and Tyler shrugged dramatically.

“I know right? Maybe he ended up blabbing about it on Facebook or something and now everyone n’ their mom has turned up…” Tyler trailed off as a pretty girl strutted past wearing a bright pink latex cat-suit. He was _definitely_ under-dressed.“Like, there’s no way  _she’s_ still in high school!” Tyler whispered, looking over his shoulder discreetly to see her swaying ass disappear into another large group of people.

Josh used the back of his hand to smack Tyler lightly on the arm, “Stop staring at her butt dude it’s rude.”

“’S fine Josh I was just appreciating her aesthetic.” Tyler joked and returned to face Josh smugly, shoving his hands in his pockets. “You’re just jealous cause I don’t look at your butt like that in _public_.” Josh just rolled his eyes. Tyler obviously still had a lot to learn about what’s appropriate and what’s not, by the looks of things.

“Uh, no dude, it’s rude because women get objectified and harassed every day and just because she’s rocking an _awesome_ – by the way - cat-suit doesn’t give you an excuse to look at her - wait a sec…are you implying that you look at _my_ butt when we’re _not_  in public?” Josh spilled, not switching off his rant-tone.

Tyler paused and nervously flicked his eyes around the backyard, looking at anything and everything that wasn’t Josh’s intense gaze. “Uhhh no? Definitely not, like – not that often – I mean no, n-not at all, I would never-“ Tyler clamped his mouth shut to prevent himself from further digging his own grave.

“I really need to get a filter, huh?” He started over and laughed nervously, trying to bring some relief to the conversation. Josh just frowned, confused by the statement.

“… A filter?”

“O-oh just like a filter from my brain to my mouth cause, like, I say things without thinking and then end up looking really stupid and just rambling on about whatever’s on my mind like if there’s gonna be any pizza or if anyone’s gonna jump in that pool tonight or…” Tyler’s scrambled speech slowed to a halt along with his walking as the boys’ short attention spans were grasped by something  _far_  more interesting.

They stood like deer in the headlights – or rather  _strobe lights_  - in front of two open doors that lead to Brendon’s living room which was  _absolutely jam-packed_  from window-to-wall with drunken teenagers all jumping in synch and going just crazy in general to a number-one-party-anthem being blasted from some very  large and expensive looking woofer speakers. Honestly, from Josh and Tyler’s point of view this looked literally  _surreal_  - like something out of a movie. Or at least they thought until the host himself stumbled out of the crowd wearing only one shoe and a crazed expression; as if he had somehow sensed that  _somebody somewhere_  was still sober and it was his mission to undo that – pronto.

“GUUUYS! You made it!” He called out in a sickly-sweet tone after he recognised their faces in-between strobes.  The boys snapped out of their daze and watched pitifully as Brendon wobbled over to them, arms outstretched and obviously drunk.

“Yeah dude, sorry we’re a bit late-“ Josh started but was cut off by Brendon sagging his entire body weight up against him in some form of hug.

Lolling his head round to look up at Josh, he placed a sloppy finger over his lips. “You’re late. Though.” He slurred and his eyelids did a tiny Mexican Wave. Josh batted the hand away and wiggled, trying to get free.

“I  _just_   _said_  sorry we’re late-“ Brendon interrupted again, but this time with a loud and unattractive burp aimed right at Josh’s face, which ultimately resulted in him being shoved back unwantedly into the direction of the party. Somehow he managed to ricochet straight back, unfazed, and now adorning a huge grin.

“Sorry sorry,” He rushed – sounding not even close to sorry – and Tyler laughed eagerly, ejecting himself into the conversation as Josh rubbed his cheek like it had been permanently tainted by Brendon’s alcohol-reeking breath. “Dude this is amazing! It’s only like quarter past nine and everyone’s  _already_  drunk, how did you even supply enough alcohol-“

“DruNK? ALCOHOL?” Brendon shouted back the only two things he selectively heard from the sentence and abruptly started chanting “DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!” with a fist raised in the air. The rest of the party soon caught on and began repeating it back to him in the same drunken manner; some starting to down beers of their own or smash red plastic cups together, spilling drink all over the white lino floor in careless celebration of anything that was a liable enough excuse to get drunk over.

It was then that Brendon seized Josh’s wrist and started dragging him with surprising force into the crowded mess that was his living room. Despite Josh’s cries of protest, Tyler grinned and followed hot on their heels as they weaved tactfully in and out of the way of dancing teenagers who had already lost their sense of spatial awareness to drink.

Brendon turned a sharp left as he headed towards the kitchen and the crowd got noticeably thicker - the reason for which became obvious as soon as the notorious bar came into view. Surprisingly, Brendon didn’t bother to slow down and instead just stuck a hand out to blindly grab a bottle of whatever was on the counter, not even bothering to check the label.  _‘It’s alcoholic, and that’s all that matters.’_  Tyler supposed.

Finally they reached the kitchen and Brendon released Josh who stopped in his tracks to rub his wrist pathetically. Brendon payed no notice and carried on up to the long, rectangular, grey, marble island counter that was situated in the middle of the room. Upon the said counter sat various red and white plastic cups along with a tall girl sporting a baby pink buzz-cut who was passionately making out with a shorter, more muscular boy who was standing in-between her legs and massaging her exposed thighs under her dress. Brendon hobbled over (the whole one-shoe-thing messing up his gait) and slammed the bottle down onto the counter, shamelessly interrupting the intimate moment.

 “Move I’m gay,” He announced snappily and the couple broke apart to shoot him an odd look, but after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence the boy slid his palms off her thighs and offered a hand up to help her down from the counter – probably thinking it was about time to find somewhere more… private, anyways. Brendon continued to clear an area on the counter by using his forearm like a window-screen-wiper, then turned to an overhead cupboard to get out some shot glasses.  _‘Finally!’_ Tyler couldn’t help but think and licked his lips devilishly. He didn’t know why he was so desperate to get drunk. I mean, he’s not _supposed_ to get drunk because it’s bad for your health and bad for basketball but he was looking for an escape without _actually_ escaping and, like many desperate teenagers before him, had found that drinking was the easiest and most proficient way to do so.

“We need to get the gang together fr’a drink cause you’re all here now.” Brendon explained as he gingerly set out nine miniscule glasses on the counter in a way that strikingly resembled how a toddler would arrange a tea party.

“So we get the real glasses and not the shitty plastic ones? Bren I’m so touched.” Josh said sarcastically. Brendon, unable to detect the tone whilst he was concentrating so hard on dragging the bottle of vodka over the shot glasses like a barmaid (and spilling most of its contents out on the counter) called out to them in a squeaky but genuine voice.

“Yeeaah of course guys! You’re my beeestest friends so you only get the top shelf stuff…” Brendon carelessly chucked the bottle into the sink with a clang and wandered back over to Josh and Tyler who were still achingly sober. “You get the top shelf stuff or nuthin’,” Brendon repeated as he clamped a hand on each of their shoulders and let out another burp before urging them to “stay here” as he tottered off aimlessly screeching Dallon’s name.

Tyler and Josh were then left in an awkward state of ‘party limbo’ as they awaited their friend’s return. Tyler peered over towards the drinks longingly and Josh bit his lip, misinterpreting the look for worry.

“You don’t have to drink if you don’t want to.” He announced carefully, twirling a strand of blue hair in-between his fingers. He was kind of hoping that Tyler would get at least _a_   _bit_ tipsy because he had some kind of notion that he’d be  _really cute_  when drunk, but the last thing Josh wanted was for Tyler to feel pressured.

“N-no, I  _want_  to drink, dude, believe me.” Tyler replied openly, walking over to the crowded counter to inspect the glasses, “I just wish Brendon would hurry the hell up so I can have my first party experience. It’s gonna, like, peak before we even get in there!” Tyler groaned, expressing the little knowledge he had learned about high-school parties from his brother:  _‘As soon as someone starts playing some weird non-chart or throw-back shit, the party’s peaked and you gotta get out of there - quick. Don’t wanna be stuck helping with the clean-up.’_

“So… this is your first party then?” Josh questioned slowly and Tyler mentally face-palmed himself for letting that slip.

“Uh… yeah, kinda. I mean yeah – it is.” Tyler stammered, scratching his neck dismissively as he tried to retain a ‘cool, yeah, whatever’ outlook.

A knowing smile broke out on Josh’s face and he walked up to the opposite side of the counter. “Well congrats dude, I better get to work on making this the  _best_   _party ever_  then. One  _sick-ass_ party that you’ll tell your grandkids about.” Josh half-joked and Tyler rolled his eyes, secretly happy that Josh didn’t patronise him for still being a party-virgin at 16.

“At this rate the only thing I’ll be telling my grandkids about is how I was stuck in a kitchen while a  _sick-ass_  party was going on in the room next to me.” Tyler huffed stubbornly, refusing to lighten up. Suddenly his ears pricked up at a muffled but familiar trumpet tune through the walls and his butt-hurt attitude miraculously vanished. He frantically lurched forwards against the counter and waved his hands at Josh in attempt to express his excitement.

“O-oh- oH MY GOSH JOSH! J-JOSH WE GOTTA GO THIS IS MY SONG!” He exclaimed, springing to life and hastily grabbing two pre-poured shot glasses which Josh eyed suspiciously.

“Dude, have you ever even been drunk before? I dunno if this is a good idea-“

“Come on Joshie! Don’t make me take my first shot alone!” Tyler whined, tentatively wiggling the glass in front of Josh’s face. Josh formed a swear-word with his tongue as he turned red almost instantly at Tyler’s innocent use of a nickname. It caused Josh to have a brief flashback of a _dark room_ with _hands on skin_ before he quickly reeled in his mind and – in order to distract himself - snatched the glass that Tyler was offering up and raised it proudly to the ceiling.

“T-To Tyler’s first drink!”

“Scratch that!” Tyler shouted back with a grin, “TO HOUSE OF PAIN!”

The two brought their glasses together with a clink and threw their heads back, racing to pour the foul tasting liquid down their throats as quickly as possible. They both slammed the now-empty glasses back down onto the marble surface and stood huffing and squinting for a good couple of seconds as the after-taste of the vodka lingered on their tongues and burnt in their stomachs. Tyler shook his head violently in an attempt to shake off the woozy feeling and started towards the dance floor, grabbing Josh’s wrist and pulling him along with him.

Tyler determinedly shoved his way through the crowd to the centre of the dancefloor and let go of Josh’s poor wrist (which had now been through quite the ordeal) before throwing his hands up in the air like _‘I got this’_ and turning to face his friend, making it  _exactly_  in time for the start of the rap.

“PACK IT UP, PACK IT IN, LET ME BEGIN, I CAME TO WIN BATTLE ME THAT’S A SIN, I WON’T EVER SLACK UP, PUNK YOU BETTER BACK UP-” Tyler shouted the lyrics out like he had never shouted them before and shoved Josh’s chest lightly as he dabbled with playing the role of a stereotypical egocentric rapper. Josh nodded along approvingly – impressed by Tyler’s skill and passion when it came to… rap?

Tyler bobbed confidently along to the beat with a goofy smile plastered on his face as he spat the lyrics out in Josh’s general direction, too involved in the song to notice that a clearing was starting to form around him as he was the only one at the party who _actually_ knew the verses - and boy, did he know them.

Fortunately, the alcohol had already set into Tyler’s system and embarrassment was no longer an emotion he could feel – so he went all out and started performing the thing, feeling unstoppable as people crowded around and raised their glasses to him – waiting in anticipation to go wild at the chorus of the appropriately named hit, ‘Jump Around’.

Tyler violently shook his head and twitched around as his eyes locked back onto Josh, who was grinning encouragingly from where he served as part of the mosh-pit-like wall that the circle around him had become. People were literally eating this shit up and Tyler decided that he quite liked being the centre of attention.

“I CAME TO GET DOWN! I CAME TO GET DOWN,” Tyler screamed, pivoting around at the blur of grinning faces angled towards him as he prepared for the all-mighty chorus, “SO GET OUT’CHA SEAT AND JUMP AROUND JUMP AR-“ The circle collapsed as Josh took the initiative to lurch forwards and throw his arms around his friend proudly, jumping in synch along with the other close, sweaty bodies around them. Tyler was out of breath by this point but he really couldn’t care less and kept jumping, the alcohol giving him an extra high that he didn’t want to come down from any time soon. Looking over at Josh who had his arm wrapped tightly around his shoulder, Tyler felt like he was on top of the world.

It took him a few seconds to notice that Jenna and Hayley had emerged through the crowd, though, because he wasn’t used to seeing them in such… formal clothing. That or he was just distracted by Josh’s face. The usual jeans and band-shirts Hayley wore had been replaced by a cute black playsuit coupled with some polka-dot tights and heavy doc marten boots; she had also dyed her hair an illuminate shade of yellow that she somehow managed to pull off flawlessly. Jenna, on the other hand, had her arm slunk sensually over her girlfriend’s shoulder and was wearing a short, light blue, shirt-style dress with killer black heels – making her significantly taller than Hayley who was unfortunately (or fortunately) about boob height on her. Jenna pointed excitedly as she spotted the boys and dragged Hayley over to them before engulfing Tyler in a heartfelt hug (too drunk to remember that she had only just seen him at school a few hours earlier) and placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek, leaving a smudged red stain of lipstick that he didn’t bother to wipe off.

As one great hit rolled into another the four stayed stubbornly on the dancefloor, simply refusing to stop having a good time. They bummed a few drinks from other friends who had slowly started conjugating around them (as if drawn by some unknown magnetic force) and if he wasn’t before, Tyler was  _definitely_  drunk now.

He didn’t even register that their group had practically high-jacked the dancefloor as Josh, Brendon, Hayley and Melanie had somehow got their hands on cans of silly-string and were currently emptying them all over Tyler and Jenna in celebration as they drunkenly grinded to ‘Low’ by Flo Rida. No, it didn’t occur to Tyler  _at all_  that the party didn’t revolve around  _him_  and that maybe other people didn’t want to see a sweaty, lanky, basketball kid getting some  _serious_  booty from a hot lesbian. That thought didn’t even cross his mind.

However, like all good things, the party had to come to an end – which it did (sort of) shortly after Waterfalls by TLC had come to an end (and Tyler may or may not have shed a tear at that) in the graceful form of Brendon back flipping the entire length of the dancefloor, slipping on some beer and landing face-first into the breasts of some poor British girl that Tyler had overheard was called Marina. Some would label that as the ‘peak’ of the evening but Tyler absolutely did  _not_ want to go home. In fact, he  _refused_. Thankfully, there were some like-minded people (namely ones that they actually knew) who decided to stick around for the chance to be resurrected at the possibility of an after party. Brendon also managed to encapsulate a few others that were planning on leaving with the offer of pizza which he hurriedly rushed off to order on his house phone.

* * *

 

The music had been toned down, people had sobered up (to an extent) and the dance floor had now become more of a place for social interaction rather than dancing. And that is where Tyler found himself: tiredly propped up against a wall, clutching a plastic cup filled with water and shooting metaphorical daggers into Josh’s back from afar. Not that he had made him angry (yet); it’s just that someone had stupidly allowed _Debby Ryan_ to come to the party and she was currently having a  _thrilling_  conversation with Josh and one of his old friends. Seriously, the way she throws her head back when she laughs and feels the need to touch Josh's arm at least twice a minute made Tyler feel just… just  _dandy._  He gripped his cup with a bit more force, causing a part of it buckle inwards as he glared at  _Debby Goodie-Two-Shoes Ryan._  It was a real drama-filled moment and for a second there Tyler wished he was one of those reality TV-Stars like Paris Hilton who had a camera crew following them around at all times because,  _damn,_  he’d watch this. Suddenly Tyler’s perfect view of Debby’s stupid face was eclipsed by a body, and as he drew his narrowed eyes up that said body he was met with the neutral but almost sad-looking gaze of Alex Gaskarth. Unfortunately he had caught Tyler at a bad time (again) but none-the-less braved an effort to try and speak to him.

“Hey Tyler. So uh, you made it to the party then.” Tyler almost groaned out loud; _anything_ but this petty small talk again. 

“Yeah well of course I’m here, Brendon’s sorta more my friend than yours. He only invited you for the  _drugs_.” Tyler snapped in a hard tone, the alcohol making his lips a little looser than he’d like them to be.

He didn’t regret it, though, when he felt Alex’s confidence waver under his threat and half-expected him to give in and leave, but the resilient boy continued, even if he did so in a more hesitant tone. “Well, uh, how about you introduce me to some of your friends then?”

Tyler raised an eyebrow and cocked his head amusedly. “Riiiight…?” He said slowly, not quite understanding where Alex’s sudden interest in his personal life had come from.  _‘Is this a joke?’_

Alex gulped and turned stiffly to peer around the room. “Y-yeah uh, how about _him?_ You eat lunch with _him_ don’t you?” He slowly raised a finger and pointed towards Jack who was lying sprawled across a lime green couch that had been pushed into the corner to make room for the dance-floor.

“Who? Jack?” Tyler asked carelessly. _‘Why would Alex go out of his way and talk to me just to be introduced to-‘_

Whoomp

There it is.

Suddenly it all clicked in Tyler’s head – why Alex wanted to talk to him in the first place, why he wanted to apologise, why he always looked so _guilty_ \- and he couldn’t stop the realisation from being transposed onto his face as he let his jaw drop and stretch his mouth into an oval shape of pure shock. Alex obviously saw this and tensed up – seeing the imminent discovery of his poorly-hidden secret.

“You- you,” Tyler stuttered, angling his cup up to Alex’s chest then towards Jack in loose connection, “-you… like him?” He finished in a whisper. Alex half-blinked once and said nothing, but that was conformation enough for Tyler.

Tyler let out a distressed puff of air and stared down at the floor, thinking for a second in disbelief. He didn’t even feel happy that he had discovered Alex’s little ‘secret’, nor smug at the blissful irony of the situation – that the homophobic bully had fallen for a  _guy._  He just felt bad for Alex, and he wished he didn’t because of _everything_ the guy had done to him. But as Alex’s eyes sunk and threatened to brew tears - Tyler couldn’t help himself; he was too kind for his own good.

“I’m really, _really_  sorry Tyler.” Alex hung his head and whispered down at his shoes, voice cracking ever-so slightly.

“D-don’t Alex, don’t,” Tyler hushed soothingly, bringing a wary hand up to pat him on the arm. “This uh, doesn’t excuse your actions but you know… maybe it’s time for me to forgive and forget and uh, I’ll introduce you to Jack.”

Alex’s head bobbed in appreciative acknowledgement and he let out a quiet sniffle before bringing his head back up. “Th-thanks dude.” Alex gave him a weak and sad smile which Tyler returned equally. He of all people knew how daunting it was to develop a crush on a _guy_ and truth-be-told he just wanted it to go well for Alex. Rejection was a heart-shattering feeling and although it wasn’t necessarily true for Tyler anymore (his relationship with Josh was unofficially official – or at least he thought), he didn’t want Alex having to go through the same thing. He didn’t want _anyone_ having to go through the same thing.

Tyler broke eye contact with the taller boy and moved past him, leading the way to the couch on the other side of the room. He stopped in front of Jack who was lying on his front, dribbling on a pillow and looking ready to doze off. With Alex lingering behind him (practically emitting nervousness) Tyler panicked and lifted a foot to kick him awake lightly, leaving a dusty footprint on the thigh of his black jeans. Jack stirred and groaned, turning over to sit up. He rubbed his face sluggishly before forcing his eyelids open to face the two anxious boys.

“Wha…? What’s goin’ on? Who died?” He mumbled in monotone in regards to their facial expressions.

“N-no one!” Tyler rushed, not quite understanding why he was so nervous himself, “I just uh, I just wanted you to meet Alex.” Tyler sidestepped to force the spotlight onto the taller boy.

“H-hey.” He breathed, looking down at Jack awkwardly because the he hadn’t bothered to get up.

 “Hey…?” Jack returned confusedly from where he continued to sit stubbornly. It was obvious that Jack just wanted to be left alone to sleep and Tyler wanted to _scream_ at him to _move his light-weight-ass over_ so that Alex could actually sit on the couch too and Tyler could escape the situation. He _really_ didn’t want to be stuck serving as Alex’s wingman for the rest of the evening, that’s for sure. Suddenly Alex nudged Tyler with his elbow and he realised that he had forgotten the _actual_ introduction.

“Oh yeah, uh, Alex is on my basketball team and I thought ‘hey, you know who would like this guy? – Jack, Jack would like this guy’ so here he is and I hope you guys have a great time chatting. Guys.” Tyler rushed then smacked Alex hard on the shoulder in substitution for a ‘good luck’ and sped  _the fuck outta there._

Tyler was heading straight for the upstairs bathroom so he could lock himself in and think about how  _‘holy shit I just set up one of my friends with a homophobic douchebag just because I felt sorry for him!?’,_ but just as he reached the stairs the doorbell pinged loudly and spooked him to a halt in his fragile, panicked state. He looked around warily and deliberated on answering it as he heard no movement to indicate anyone was coming to deal with it, but he already had a foot on the first step and decided that it wasn’t his place to answer someone else’s door. Suddenly there was a squeak of floorboards and Tyler saw Dallon appear at the top of the stairs looking pink-cheeked and dishevelled with his shirt half unbuttoned and flies undone. Both boys froze as they clocked onto each other, feeling mutually embarrassed at the understanding that Brendon _obviously_ had _something_ to do with Dallon’s current state of appearance and Tyler _really_ didn’t want to know the nitty gritty details. Dallon blinked a few times, looking conflicted.

“B-Brendon! Pizza’s here!” he called over his shoulder, presumably to the room he had just vacated. Tyler leant against the banister casually and flashed a _‘don’t mind me’_ kind of smile to hide the fact that he was desperate to get away from Jack and/or Alex and the party scene in general.

“There’s money under the pot,” Tyler heard Brendon shout as he continued to fake smilie at Dallon, “j-just deal with it I still have fucking cum in my eye.”

If Tyler was drinking right now, he would've spewed all over Brendon's nice carpet. Tyler ripped his eyes away from Dallon’s and looked down hard at the step beneath his foot, feeling a heat spread in his cheeks. It wasn’t any consolation to Tyler that Dallon was probably burning three shades brighter because they were now stuck in a horribly awkward silence – neither one wanting to move to let the other through. Luckily the doorbell sounded again and Dallon took the initiative to jog down the stairs (doing his buttons up in the process). Tyler pressed his body up against the bannister to let him past and looked back up at the now cleared landing. Suddenly he didn't feel to hot about going upstairs in case he stumbled into the ‘wrong’ room and wound up getting involved in Brendon’s… predicament. So he stayed, lingering on the steps.

Dallon opened the door and paid the pizza delivery boy, who accepted his generous ten dollar tip gratefully before offloading an unnecessarily large quantity of pizzas and garlic bread onto Brendon’s porch. Dallon sort of stared at it for a second – overwhelmed by the stack of boxes before giving Tyler a ‘help me’ look. Tyler had a suspicion that Dallon was still ‘under the influence’ and so – out of pity – moved forwards to grab a few boxes. He supposed it wouldn’t hurt to be the bringer of good news and as a bonus he’d get to interrupt Josh and Debby’s delightful conversation. Josh liked pizza more than Debby – he was sure of it. Josh liked _Tyler_ more than Debby - he was even surer of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow... the Joshler in this one was... mind-blowing *sarcasm*, but really ya'll it's gonna get cute as shit in the next chapter I'm gonna make it happen


	15. A Certain Romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Some stupid Joshler drabble  
> \- (Surprise surprise) Tyler does something dumb to impress a boy  
> \- Spin the bottle ;)))))  
> \- Tyler cracks under the pressure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There's a CLIFFHANGER in this chapter I'm so sorry
> 
> Also Halsey and Frank Iero are the xxxtras in this chapter, peace

Tyler’s genius plan to steal Josh back from Debby was wholly successful, and the two boys were now seated happily on the living room floor surrounded by a dozen unopened boxes of pizza – AKA Tyler’s personal heaven. As an unexpected bonus, Debby had stormed out at the sight of the fast food because she’s vegan or allergic to gluten or something – Tyler really didn’t care; she was gone and Josh was finally back by his side and that’s all that mattered to him.

It was now around 12:30am and those that had enough willpower to stay awake had conjugated into a loose circle surrounding the couch. Jack was still occupying a seat along with Alex but their conversation had fallen silent and he was now scrolling through his phone, bored.  _‘Well, so much for that little experiment’_  Tyler thought, shooting a sympathetic look at Alex who had slumped further down in his seat and was staring expressionlessly at the blank wall beside him.  _‘Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be…’_  Tyler assumed sadly before moving on.

Perched on the couch arm next to Jack was Melanie who was swinging her socked feet either side of the arm rest excitedly as she chatted to a pretty girl with long blue hair who Tyler didn’t quite recognise.  Also next to her was a short nervous-looking boy who Tyler didn’t know either. He sported a messy side-swept black fringe that was just as greasy – if not greasier – than Gerard’s hair; who himself was situated beside the mystery boy but a little further back so he could lean against the far wall. Gerard’s legs were outstretched in a tangled mess because he had tried to put on a random girl’s skirt and leggings (Tyler assumed) on over his heavy combat boots – and let’s just say he didn’t get very far. That then brought the circle back around to Josh and Tyler, and then finally Jenna and Hayley to their left who were slumped against each other contently in a comfortable silence.

It was at that moment that Josh lost a battle of self-restraint and suddenly leaned forwards to nip the lid of a pizza box in front of him. Tyler noticed and used his quick reflexes to slap his hand away. “Dude, we have to wait for Brendon!” He reminded Josh moodily. Truthfully, he was dying to dig in just as much as his companion, but the difference was that he had actual table manners – or floor manners, for that matter. Josh started to whine, hunger gnawing at his stomach.

 “I was just gonna see what toppings it had Tyler I swear-“ Tyler cut him off by pointing an accusing finger at his face. Josh leant back and went slightly cross eyed as he tried to focus on the tip while Tyler wiggled it distractingly.

“That’s a lie and you know it,  _Dun_. Brendon was kind enough to pay for all this by himself so you’re gonna wait whether you like it or not.” Tyler said in an unconvincing patronised tone as the corners of his mouth twitched and threatened to show a smile.

“No I swear, I just wanted to smell it and admire its aesthetic, Tyler – I mean  _Joseph_.” Josh tried to say matter-of-factly. Tyler cracked a smile and pressed the tip of his finger fondly against Josh’s nose as the other had a revelation. “Dude, isn’t it weird that your name is like… two normal names?” Josh carried on, thinking out loud.

“… I’m not following you, buddy.” Tyler prompted, bringing his finger back down to trace the rim of the cup he had on the floor in front of him. He had traded in his water for some cola in hopes that the sugar would give him more energy. What he really wanted, though, was something substantial like  _pizza_.

“Like…” Josh thought, head lolling back towards the ceiling, “Someone could be called Tyler and someone could be called Joseph… You know?” Tyler nodded slowly.

“Oh yeah I kind of get you. It’s annoying when people mix it up.” He admitted, thinking back to the time his new Maths teacher had accidentally called him Joseph for the entire semester until his dad had loudly corrected him at a parent-teacher conference.

“What’s your middle name?” Josh asked curiously, rolling his head back down to face Tyler. For some reason it felt like a far more personal question than it was, considering that they’d already shared most of their deepest darkest secrets with one another. Tyler supposed it was because this was the first time Josh had specifically asked something instead of just listening to the other rant about his feelings or whatever. Tyler blinked, thinking for a second because his mind had gone blank.

“Oh… uh, Robert – yeah.” Josh’s lips curled up at the end.

“Tyler Robert Joseph.” He echoed dreamily, like he was remembering someone interesting from his past. “Like… am I talking about one guy or three separate guys? You’ll never know.” He chatted idly. Tyler grinned, looking down at the fizzy bubbles in his cup.

“I’m pretty sure I’m one guy, guy.” He chuckled, bringing the cup up to his mouth and taking a small sip.

“But like… what if you book a table at a restaurant and they’re like ‘under what name?’ and you’re like ‘Tyler Robert Joseph’ and then when you show up… the table’s set for three people? Like, I just don’t want you to have to go through such an embarrassing ordeal, dude.” He explained wearing a smirk, gesturing loosely with his hands.

“Uh… well I’m pretty sure they’d ask me how many people the table was for, and what gave you the idea that I’d be booking a table just for me alone? I mean I’m lonely but I’m not that lonely, dude. But anyway, for the purpose of your theory – let’s say that happened. What would you have me do about it?” Tyler grinned, putting Josh on the spot. He had a habit of taking jokes too far but luckily Josh did to.

“Uhh… you could change your name? To something cooler like, uh,” Josh struggled to justify his joking-argument which had now turned serious, “Anything really – Tyler…” He looked around the room and pointed at Jack, “-Tyler Barakat?” Tyler was still trying to hide a smile but managed to pull a face and shake his head.

“Nah dude, too many syllables.”

“Uhh…” Josh thought for a second, examining how the others’ names would sound against Tyler’s.

“OH! How about Tyler Dun – that flows doesn’t it?” He grinned – not quite realising that in the simple act of mashing their names together, Tyler immediately started thinking of marriage.

“Hmm…Tyler Dun… Yeah that’s not bad – I could live with that.” He said casually – pushing the thoughts out of his head as his cheeks flushed slightly.  _‘Don’t make it weird, Tyler.’_

“Tyler Joshua William Dun – my heir.” Josh giggled but then stopped and laughed harder as he realised he had said his full name along with Tyler’s.  Tyler burst out laughing too, putting his cup down on the floor in fear that he’d spill it.

“Dude,” Tyler said in between laughs, “You want me to change my last name to,” He snorted again, “just – just  _your_  name!?”

Josh looked down at his lap, slightly embarrassed but still smiling widely. “Yeah, just have your last name as my  _entire_ full name, that’s crazy! That’d be sick!”

Tyler thought of something else and leaned forwards, barely holding it together as he touched Josh’s arm. “But then my name would be Tyler Robert Joshua William Dun,” he said shakily, “And people would think I’m FOUR GUYS!” Josh clutched his stomach as laughter shook his frame and a couple of other’s around the circle looked up to see what all the fuss was about. Tyler wiped a tear from his eye and breathed shallowly, trying to regain a state of normality.

“Imagine – Tyler –“ Josh carried on breathlessly, trying to regain Tyler’s attention, “If you got married and you took part of  _their_  name, oh-my-gosh, and imagine if it was like a double-barrelled name or something – your name would be like… six words long!” Josh laughed at his own stupid concept and Tyler did too – finding it way funnier than it actually was. Tyler put his silliness down to either alcohol, tiredness or Josh – who somehow managed to make Tyler feel things ten times more intense whenever he was around. That or Tyler had a problem with his neurons. Tyler held onto the knees of his crossed legs and rolled back a little, not being able to stop himself from saying what he said next.

“Dude, imagine if I got married to  _you!_ Your name would be Joshua William Joshua William Dun!” Tyler laughed extra loudly at this one; partly because he thought he was being  _hilarious_  and partly because (after the words had left his mouth) he realised he had brought up the subject of  _marriage_  around a guy he  _likes_. Obviously Tyler knew he wouldn’t get  _married_  to Josh or anything; everyone knows you never marry your ‘first love’ – but he just didn’t want to scare him away by seeming like a clingy lovely-dovey weirdo. The last thing Tyler wanted was for Josh to be under the impression that he was the kinda guy who’d say ‘I love you’ after one week of dating.  _‘Wait…’_  Tyler stopped and thought as he recalled a memory he had been trying to suppress for some while now.  _‘You idiot, you’ve already said… Ah, screw it.’_

“No , no, no,” Josh replied while shaking his head, causing Tyler to get anxious for a second, “Dude if we got married I’d change my name to Joshua William Tyler Robert Joseph!” He slapped his thigh hard, expressing how funny he thought he was, and Tyler cackled along, relieved that he didn’t go and make the situation any more awkward.

“God, we are so stupid,” Tyler smiled as he tried to stop laughing.

“So stupid,” Josh agreed just as Brendon strutted out from the hallway leading to the stairs, trying to make a ‘grand entrance’.

“Ladies, Gentleman, My  People,” He began in a royal tone and everyone turned around to face him. Tyler’s eyes widened as his eyes scanned down his chosen outfit. Brendon was wearing a bed-sheet as a cape and a cardboard-cut-out Burger king hat as a crown. Tyler was also 90% sure he heard Josh sigh so deeply that his soul actually left his body. Dallon was trailing behind him reluctantly holding the end of his ‘cape’ like a king’s jester.  _‘Well that actually sort of sums up their relationship.’_  Tyler thought, feeling sorry for Dallon as he watched from afar.

“Your amazing host has finally returned and he no longer has semen in his eye!” Brendon announced proudly – expecting a cheer. This time Tyler felt  _Dallon’s_  soul leave his body as the two made brief but awkward eye-contact whilst everybody else sighed and booed at Brendon’s unecesary oversharing. Brendon brought a hand up authoritatively as if to try and quieten his friends, but as everyone just carried on mumbling disgustedly, he decided to speak anyway. “You may now start the feast!”

The groans of disgust suddenly ceased as people raced to flip the lids of all the pizza and garlic bread boxes – including Tyler and Josh. The two had precisely chosen to sit where they had because there was a large mystery pizza box right in front of them that they didn’t intend on sharing with anyone but themselves. However, when Josh flipped the lid Tyler let out a groan of disappointment. Josh, on the other hand, hissed an excited "Yessss!"

“Dude, don’t ‘yes’ me – it’s got pineapple on it!” Tyler whined as Josh gingerly picked up a piece and inspected it.

“Dude this is like, my favourite topping ever so don’t even  _say_ you don’t like it.” Josh replied defensively, staring at his pizza slice. Tyler half-wished Josh would look at him like he was looking at that pizza – so he sucked up his pride and grabbed a slice. Strangely, Josh’s eyes lit up at the simple gesture and Tyler felt a sense of accomplishment.

“Well… if it’s your favourite I guess I’ll give it a go.” He said slowly, drawing out all the attention he could get from Josh.

“Dude!” Josh called out excitedly as he raised his pizza slice up to Tyler’s before realising you can’t bump pizza slices like you can with drinks. He drew it back and went to shove it in his mouth but Tyler stopped him.

“No wait! Dude!” Tyler leaned across and lifted his pizza slice and the two did a sloppy pizza-high-five.

“That was awesome, dude. That should be a new tradition." Josh chuckled before his mouth finally made contact with the food. He moaned into the taste and Tyler looked down at his own slice awkwardly – feeling like he was interrupting something intimate. He couldn’t help but think back to the time they got Taco Bell together and remembered how obscenely Josh had eaten that Chalupa Deluxe.  _‘He sure likes his food…’_  He thought, conjuring up a hilarious image of Josh eating cereal or an apple and acting in the same sexual way. Tyler looked back up to find Josh staring at him with his mouth full. He looked like he was about to attempt to speak but then checked himself and pointed down at Tyler’s slice instead – prompting him to take a bite.

The truth is, Tyler had already tried Hawaiian style pizza and had hated it, like, he had actually  _despised_ it. He only picked up this one because he didn’t want Josh to feel disappointed in him – and he  _knew_  that was the most stupid thing he’s ever done, especially for a  _boy_  but he still did it anyway.  _‘I got paranoid over some pizza…’_  He thought, grimacing before turning his attention back to his slice. Tyler reluctantly brought the pizza up to his mouth as Josh looked on.  _‘Well, I can’t back out now… here goes nothing.’_

* * *

 

Tyler lurched over the toilet seat as another wave of sickness came over him. Josh was banging and calling through the door loudly but his words refused to make sense in Tyler’s brain as his throat stung and his head spun.

“Tyler? Tyler! Tyler are you okay?” Josh finally got through to him but as the other opened his mouth to say ‘I’m fine’ another bound of doughy sick came spewing out; some splattering over the pristine toilet seat.

“I’m – I’m fine.” He choked out, knowing full well that he  _wasn’t_ fine.

“Dude just – just open the door! I’ll like, hold your hair and give you moral support.” Josh joked with an underlying hint of desperation. Tyler gritted his teeth in an attempt to smile but it was kinda hard since he was so focused on keeping the contents of his stomach where they were supposed to be – inside him. Putting on a brave face, Tyler crawled over to the door and unlocked it. Josh practically fell in and almost kneed him in the stomach, which wouldn’t have ended well for either of them.

“D-dude, you look awful.” Was all that he could say.

“Thanks.” Tyler croaked sarcastically, crawling back over to the toilet – just in case. His stomach had settled down a little now but you can never be too careful. Josh slid down the side of the bathtub on Tyler's right who now had his eyes closed and head resting against the grey wall, relieved that the ordeal (seemed) to be over.

“Dude, you didn’t have to eat that pizza you know…” Josh broke the silence, concerned.

“I dunno, I was just hungry I guess…” Tyler replied weakly, lying through his teeth. “I fucking hate Hawaiian pizza." He breathed, rubbing his churning stomach. "J-Josh?” Tyler questioned reluctantly. Josh looked up and hummed in response.“Could you, uh, get me some water – o-or a redbull please.” Tyler bit his lip, embarrassed that he had to ask for something. His dad was always harping on about independence and although Tyler didn’t really agree with his views, the impression had rubbed off on him. There was nothing wrong with asking for some help… so why did he feel so guilty?

“Water… or a redbull?” Josh repeated, confused at the odd mix. Tyler slowly nodded, concerned he had asked for too much. “Alright baby boy, whatever suits you.” Josh smiled and got up off the floor. Tyler wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand and smiled weakly in return.  _‘God, I’m so stupid.’_

* * *

 

“Tyler are you sure you’re okay?” Josh asked again for the millionth time. After 15 minutes or so Tyler had returned back to his normal state and had to  _physically shove_  Josh out the way so he could escape the bathroom.

“Yes Josh! For the millionth time yes!” He called out as he sped down the hallway. Josh had brought Tyler water  _and_  a redbull in the end, and now he was on fast forwards. In fact – he probably felt  _better_  than fine.

“Do you want me to drive you home? O-oh - wait…” He trailed off as he remembered how much he’d drunk tonight.

“That’s sweet Josh, but I’m fine I promise you.” Tyler said genuinely as he turned down the stairs. Josh followed closely behind him.

“No offense dude, but why did you even eat that pizza in the first place if you knew you’d hate it?”

Tyler slowed his pace down. “I dunno… it’s stupid really…”

Josh slowed to a halt which caused Tyler to stop on the third step and look up. Josh raised an eyebrow at him, prompting the other to elaborate. Tyler gulped as he recalled his ‘oath’; he may as well just tell the truth – it’s only  _Josh_.

“Uh… well you said it was your favourite pizza and I didn’t wanna seem like I didn’t care… I mean, anything you’re interested in I wanna be interested in too, you know.  And I know this sounds cheesy and weird but you’re just like… the coolest guy I know so – hey! Stop looking at me like that!” Tyler whined and Josh laughed lightly.

“Wow, that _is_  stupid” He breathed like he was attempting to joke but it didn't quite come across that way; Josh looked nothing short of stunned. Tyler caught onto this and panicked -  _'Did he find that weird or... is he flattered?'_  

“Shuddup, you’re stupid.” Tyler snapped back nervously with a half-grin, turning to carry on down the stairs. Suddenly Brendon swung around his banister like he was a part of 'Singing In The Rain' and interrupted the two.

“Yo Tyler, you okay man? We’re gonna play spin the bottle in a sec if you guys are up for it?”

Tyler’s cheerful expression faltered for a second. “Oh, uh… I dunno…”

Josh suddenly shifted on his step confidently, forcing Tyler’s attention.

“Yeah sure, I’ll play. C’mon Tyler.” He said whilst maintaining eye contact with nervous boy, his expression much softer than his casual tone. It was like he was trying to hint something at him but Tyler just couldn’t think fast enough to understand what it was – so he just agreed.

“O-oh, okay.”

Brendon grinned and swung back the other way, hopping off to slide his socked feet along the wooden-floored hallway as he lead the two back to the gathering.

Tyler then realised what he was getting himself into. He was going to play  _spin the bottle_  with his friends, his crush, his  _bully_ and some people he hadn’t even met!? Without his permission, images were flashing before his eyes of him making out with everyone  _but_  Josh and he felt the overwhelming urge to be sick again. Tyler had never kissed  _anyone_  except his mother or his siblings.  _Even his dad never let him kiss him_. Tyler suddenly remembered Jenna’s smudged lipstick stain on his cheek and rubbed at it furiously.  _‘What have I gotten myself into!?’_

As they emerged around the corner everyone was sitting and waiting in a neater, closer version of the circle Tyler had been a part of earlier. An empty beer bottle was erected in the middle and it seemed like everyone was waiting for  _him_. Paranoia started gnawing at Tyler’s brain as he quickly shuffled over to the circle and plonked himself down in a small space between Jenna and Dallon. Suddenly he remembered Josh was behind him as he heard his shoes scuff against the floor like he didn’t know where to sit. Tyler continued to stare down at his socked ankles, hoping Josh didn't think he sat away from him on purpose. Josh eventually found a place next to Brendon and the blue-haired girl, he thought - but Tyler didn't bother to look up and check. If he did, everyone would look at him and he'd die of embarrassment (or at least that's what his brain was telling him).

Brendon slapped his hands together and rubbed them devilishly, forcing people’s quiet chatter to fall silent. “Is everyone ready?” he said in a purposefully deep voice. A couple of people whooped excitedly and Jenna clapped her hands beside Tyler as Brendon slid forwards to give the bottle a generous spin.

Tyler held his breath as eyes followed the bottle religiously wile it spun until it came to a slow halt in front of Jenna. Tyler released - he had escaped, but only just. A few people made encouraging noises and Brendon went to spin it again; this time landing on the greasy-haired boy that Tyler didn’t know. Someone whooped ‘Frankie!’ as the two shuffled along the floor to meet in the middle. Tyler saw Jenna give Hayley a subtle look out of the corner of her eye before she leant forwards on her knees and snaked a hand around Frank’s neck – forcing their lips together. Tyler couldn’t really see the kiss from where he was sitting – only the back of Jenna’s head and Frank’s hand as it found a place on her hip. The two broke apart and people cheered – Frank looking dazed but slightly less nervous as he returned to his spot in the circle. Hayley let out a shrill laugh as her girlfriend whispered something to her, but Tyler wasn't listening because - in contrast to Frank - he was more nervous than ever.

 _'That wasn’t… that wasn’t just a peck was it? That was like a full on kiss! Oh God, I don’t wanna have my first kiss like this – imagine if it landed on Alex!?’_ Tyler thought frantically. Tyler was more of a romantic kind of guy – and the thought of having his first kiss in front of all these people with someone he didn’t even  _love_  repulsed him.  _‘But… but what if it lands on Josh?’_  a small voice in Tyler's head whispered, reminding him that Josh was here too and he impulsively snuck a look across the circle at him. The other already had his eyes on him and smiled sweetly before Tyler ripped his eyes away and stared back down at his ankles.  _‘Why is he smiling like that? Does he want me to kiss someone? Does he want me to kiss-‘_  Tyler gasped as he remembered the look that Josh gave him on the stairs.  _‘Does he want to kiss me?’_

Tyler’s eyes flicked back around the circle and realised that the bottle had landed on Jack and Alex. Jack had just chucked his phone on a cushion and was now shuffling up the couch towards a very terrified looking Alex. Tyler momentarily forgot about his current predicament as he silently egged the red-faced boy on, even though he had given up on him earlier. Jack gingerly placed a hand on his thigh and leaned forwards as Alex raised his hands like he didn’t know what to do with them. Alex was as red as a berry and although he had slightly leaned back from the kiss himself – he stopped passively to let Jack come to him. Jack tilted his head to the side and closed his eyes as the gap between them became non-existent. Alex’s eyes were wide open and his mouth was slightly ajar, so Tyler could fully see the movement as Jack gently pressed his lips against Alex’s. Jack moved his hand to Alex’s chin as he deepened the kiss and Alex’s eyes fluttered shut – as if he only just remembered that that’s what you’re supposed to do. And then – for a split second, Tyler thought he seemed happy.

But then Jack recoiled and shuffled back to his side of the couch before opening his mouth, sticking a finger up to his tongue and making a slight gagging noise at Melanie who giggled sickeningly. Alex stayed looking happily stunned until he realised others around the circle had started snickering or laughing at Jack's demeaning gesture. Then he looked like he wanted to just disappear into the sofa. Tyler felt a wave of sickness overcome him again as he saw parallels with their relationship and himself and Josh.  _‘What if this is all just a joke to Josh? Does he just want to embarrass me? what if-‘_

The sound of Brendon spinning the bottle a third time hardly interrupted Tyler’s hectic train of thought – he didn’t want to do this, he’s never kissed anyone, and he knew that it might not even land on Josh but… if it did – he didn’t want to kiss him like this. It was just all wrong, what if people laughed – what if he’s just joking and reacts the same way as Jack did? Tyler felt like he was suffocating and barely acknowledged that Jenna was calling his name.

“Tyler? Hello? Anyone home?” Tyler looked around the circle to see everyone staring at him, annoyed. “It’s you and Josh.” She smirked.

_‘Of course it was.’_

Tyler sat for a second and blinked, not wanting to make a permanent decision just yet. His eyes flicked back around at the circle and upon further inspection – they weren’t annoyed, they were excited. They  _knew_  Tyler liked Josh and they were egging him on – just as Tyler had with Alex. But this was all wrong. Tyler didn’t want this – Tyler didn’t want this at all; so Tyler did the only logical thing that his brain was screaming at him to do: run. He scrambled to his feet and ran for the stairs, his mind buzzing too loudly to acknowledge the murmurs and daggers that were shot at his back as he went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so before ya'll start screaming at me for this cliff-hanger I've nearly finished the next chapter and it will be up SOONER than I've been updating recently and it's gonna be really cute xxx


	16. Before The Moment's Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Tyler is fragile and weird  
> \- I'm fallin'  
> \- The stars try but they're just not as kind on the eye  
> \- And Finally...  
> \- Part II: Tyler's Pool Prophecy is fulfilled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone ever heard of the phrase 'third time lucky'?   
> This chapter is all kinds of cheese and drama so please - you have been warned
> 
> EDIT: I changed the ending a little bit because some people seemed to think that Tyler was gonna backflip off the roof and DIE which is deffo not what I was going for, I was just tryna find somewhere to finish the chapter cause it goes on for DAYS so yea, I promise you Tyler isn't dying any time soon :)

After Tyler had reached the top of the stairs he aimlessly ran into the first room he could lay his eyes upon, which just so happened to be Brendon’s parent’s dimly lit (and very ‘out of bounds’) bedroom.

Breathing hard because of the stairs and the panic - Tyler subconsciously picked out the furthest, most hard-to-get-to corner and proceeded to squeeze his way into it, successfully finding some kind of comfort in hiding himself away from the party occurring below.

So there he sat in the small, dark space between the king-sized bed and the wall next to the cold glass door that lead onto the balcony. His hands were busy pulling at the soft beige carpet while his knees were drawn tightly to his chest as he tried to calm himself down. His spine was also digging into the handles of the wooden bed-side table behind him, but he barely noticed. Tyler was too nail-bitingly nervous to acknowledge something as stupid as pain.

On one hand, Tyler had realised what an idiotic move it was to literally just  _run away_  from his problems; especially when it makes you look like a complete and utter dick to your best friend. On the other hand he was glad that he didn’t give in and kiss Josh in front of all those people because it just wouldn’t have been right and it wouldn’t have been  _him_. However, the price of that small win against peer-pressure could cost him  _Josh_ , which - now he had thought about it – wasn’t really a fair trade. But instead of standing up and doing something about it, Tyler just continued to sit pathetically on the floor hidden in some corner whilst he simultaneously wished for Josh to come bounding up those stairs and for him to stay right where he was. In his heart, Tyler knew that if he could just  _explain_  the situation to Josh he’d probably understand, but the fact that Josh was undoubtedly  _hurting_  right now because of Tyler’s actions made Tyler feel guilty, nervous, and a whole host of other emotions he didn’t really want to deal with right now.

“Tyler?”

Josh’s voice sounded quietly by the top of the stairs accompanied by a small creak of a floorboard. Tyler’s head shot up from the spot on the floor he was intensely staring at and hesitated. He can’t just  _hide_  and run away from his problems again – no matter how much his gut instinct was telling him to do so. It wouldn’t be fair on Josh.

“I-in here.” He called weakly, chewing a chunk of the inside of his cheek. He slowly arose from the floor, using the wall for support as Josh’s dark silhouette appeared in the doorway. Tyler could hardly see his face but he knew it just looked  _hurt_.

The two stood there on opposite sides of the room in an uncomfortable stand-off; both wondering who would dare break the silence and commence the ‘argument’. Since the apparent conflict was mostly Tyler’s fault, the taller boy reluctantly opened his mouth to speak - even though he wasn’t exactly sure what was going to come spewing out of it. All he knew was that  _anything_  would be better than the deafening silence surrounding them.

“Josh I-“

“I wanted to kiss you...”

Josh managed to cut Tyler off with no more than a distant whisper, and even though it seemed like he was talking to himself, Tyler’s words still got caught in his throat as he held his tongue. ”But if you didn’t want to… you could’ve just said so instead of  _leaving_  me out there like that.” Anger quickly seeped into Josh’s tone and for the first time Tyler could see the pained expression on his face being reflected by the moonlight.

“J-Josh, no it’s not like that I-“

“How is it then?” Josh hissed shakily, “F-first you say you  _like_  me and that you’ll  _wait_  for me and… now I’m finally ready… you don’t want me anymore?” Josh had taken a step further into the room as he demanded answers but Tyler just stayed backed up against the corner wall cowardly. He hated confrontation – his brain would just switch off and he'd never be able to properly explain himself. This was one of those moments.

“I want you, Josh.” He whispered, fearful that if he spoke any louder he’d scare the tears pricking up at the corners of his eyes down his cheeks. The hurt in Josh’s expression vanished but was instead replaced by sadness.

“Why did you leave me like that then?” He sighed, looking down at the royal pattern on the bed, “Everyone was staring at me and w-whispering about how you couldn’t really like me and how embarrassed I should be – and I was embarrassed! Do you know how humiliating it is to have someone walk out on you while you’re playing spin the bottle  _specifically_  because they don’t want to kiss you? It’s-“

“I wanted to kiss you, I-I  _really_  did.” Tyler squeaked out. He was desperate to explain everything but his brain just wouldn’t let him string a full sentence together under this kind of pressure. He didn’t want to lose Josh just because he wanted their first kiss to be  _special_.

“Why  _didn’t_  you kiss me then, Tyler?” Josh replied spitefully.

Tyler winced at the way his name flicked off Josh’s tongue like he was desperate to spit it out of his mouth – like it was trash.  Suddenly he didn’t want to be called Tyler anymore; not after hearing Josh say it in such a hateful way.

“I- I, I,” Tyler stuttered, expecting Josh to cut in again but the other boy just stayed silent as he stood and looked down at the ground in front of him. Tyler stopped himself and took the opportunity to take a breath and clear his mind the best he could. He can’t mess this up, he can’t lose Josh over such a stupid thing as this.

“Well,” Tyler started in a wobbly voice, but quickly coughed to clear his throat then started over. “Well Alex kind of, uh, came out to me earlier. And he told me he liked Jack.”

That caught Josh’s attention; he looked up with a mixture of surprise, confusion and annoyance playing about his face because to him it seemed as though Tyler had just changed the subject. Tyler noticed this and quickly hurried along to his point. “So I felt sorry for him and introduced him to Jack, and I was  _really_ rooting for him, you know, I-I thought everything would be okay and that they’d get along but… it wasn’t okay and then they  _kissed_  and everything fell to  _shit_ , like, did you see the look on Jack’s face? It was all just a joke to him and Alex looked so sad and embarrassed and I got paranoid, okay!” He continued breathlessly, growing more and more desperate as the words kept pouring from his mouth, ”I didn’t want that to happen to me; I-I thought that you were just doing it as a  _joke_  and I’ve never even kissed anyone before, I’ve never played spin the bottle – I didn’t know what to do so I panicked!” Tyler rushed, his vocal range going up and down with emotion. Josh stayed quiet and looked back down at his shoes.

Tyler couldn’t stand the hopeless silence so he decided to fill it with more scraps of thoughts that he prayed might  _just_  get Josh to like him again. “And- And when it was our turn everyone was just  _staring_ at me like they  _knew_  that I liked you – like ‘here’s your chance Tyler! Go get him!’ But I, I’m just not like that, it’s too personal and I don’t like everyone knowing my business, you know? All I wanted was for our first kiss to be at least a  _tiny_  bit special so...I thought the moment just… it just wasn’t right.” He finished before turning to look out of the window – trying to focus on anything other than the pounding in his chest.

Suddenly Tyler saw Josh’s figure flicker and move towards him in the reflection of the window, and for a split second he believed he was going to hug him or kiss him or tell him that everything was alright. Instead, Josh just brushed right past and reached for the door handle that lead to the balcony – swinging it open and slamming it shut behind him. Tyler closed his eyes and let out a sigh of defeat, leaning back against the wall and tilting his head up so it made contact with the surface with a small thud.

 _‘God I’m an idiot, I’m such an idiot – I should’ve just sucked it up and kissed him. Now he’s angry at me and I’m never going to get him back. I bet he hates me.’_ A few self-depreciating and overly-dramatic thoughts swirled around Tyler’s head until he inevitably thought of what his life would be like without Josh.  _‘I won’t have any friends again, will I? My friends were his friends first so obviously they’ll side with him, but… I can’t go back to living like that, I was… I was so lonely and now I’m finally starting to be happy – I can’t lose him – I’ll have to /make/ him understand – I just wanted our first kiss to be special! Why’s he throwing a temper tantrum over that!?’_ As Tyler’s thoughts grew more logical and confident he determinedly reached for the handle of the glass door to follow Josh out and (hopefully) change his mind. As soon as he stepped outside, though, that determination vanished completely.

Josh was standing on the other side of the railing, looking out into Brendon’s garden with his right hand gripping the wooden pole behind him. It was the only thing separating him from the ground below.

“JOSH!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?” Tyler cried out as he stumbled through the doorway. He didn’t have time to realise that if Josh  _actually_  jumped he probably wouldn’t die since they were only on the second floor, but his mind was in overdrive at the fact that Josh would go to such an  _extreme_  measure just because he didn’t kiss him. Josh notably flinched at the panic in Tyler’s voice and turned around slowly to give him a reassuring smile. Tyler's feet skidded to a restless halt and he breathed a premature sigh of relief as it looked like Josh was about to clamber back over, but it was then - when Tyler least expected it - that he let go of the railing and jumped.

“JO-“ Tyler’s scream got caught in his throat as he rushed over to where Josh had been a millisecond ago. To his surprise, Josh had actually jumped onto the flat garage roof and was now holding a hand up to Tyler, motioning for him to jump too. Instead, Tyler slumped his whole body weight against the wooden railing as a whoosh of air came out of his lungs like he had just been punched in the stomach. Josh just looked up at him, confused.

“Josh,” He whispered breathlessly, “-don’t  _ever_  do anything like that to me again.” Josh’s outstretched hand wavered as he suddenly realised what this must’ve looked like from Tyler’s point of view.

“Oh God, I- I’m – I didn’t realise?” He stammered apologetically, “I just- I just had an idea, God, I’m sorry I’m so stupid-“

“Wait so you’re… you’re not mad at me?” Tyler cut in shakily as he started to regain the strength in his knees.

“What? N-no of course not. I just think I, uh, overreacted and I wanted to make it up to you. I mean it  _does_ makes sense that you wouldn’t wanna have your first kiss in front of all those people and to be honest I didn’t even know if the bottle was gonna land on… You know what Tyler?” Josh trailed off as he scratched the back of his head.

“…Yeah?” Tyler replied suspiciously.

“Can you just get over here? It feels weird having a conversation over a balcony. I know I’m trying to be romantic and all but I wasn’t really going for the Romeo and Juliet vibe.” He gave Tyler a cheeky smirk and the other couldn’t help but crack a smile in return.

“Oh so you’re planning something romantic? Why Romeo, Romeo –“ Tyler began in a croaky theatrical voice, pulling the back of his hand up to his forehead as he acted out being the damsel in distress.

“No no no no, none of that please – just get your monkey-butt over here so I can explain what… what this is all about.” Josh called back up jokingly, but Tyler detected an underlying hint of nervousness in his tone.

“Alright, alright – but that’s no way to treat a lady.” Tyler smirked, swinging his leg over the fairy-light infested railing, trying hard to not get his foot tangled in any of the wires.

“You know what man?” Josh said slowly and Tyler paused to look down at him, “I don’t know about that man.” Tyler rolled his eyes and lifted his other leg over the railing. “-But if you wanna be treated like a lady,” Josh continued, waltzing up to the edge of the roof and extending a hand like he had before. “Bonsoir, Mademoiselle, fine evening isn't it?” Josh said in an exaggerated French accent and bowed. Tyler couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

“Oooh, French! The language of love.” He teased sarcastically and a knowing smile broke out on Josh’s face.

“Oui oui, baguette – uh, croissant.” Josh replied, exercising his extensive French vocabulary in a sensual tone while Tyler suppressed an ugly snort. At least things were a little lighter between them now.

Tyler bent his knees and agilely hopped over the small gap in-between the garage and the house. His feet planted firmly on the roof and although he knew he didn’t need Josh’s hand for support, he still grabbed it anyway.

“So, what’s all this about then?” Tyler asked casually as he straightened up and let his hand linger in Josh’s for slightly longer than necessary. In response, Josh pursed his lips and looked over at their conjoined hands in concentration before slowly and deliberately lowering them down to their sides, letting them sway loosely at their destination for a second. A sheepish smile spread across Tyler’s face and his cheeks started to flush. “Are we…We’re holding hands.” He acknowledged and Josh hummed in agreement.

“Looks like it.” He murmured at Tyler with a shy but excited smile. “This- this is okay for you, right?” He then asked nervously, eyes flicking down to the gesture. Tyler squeezed his hand lightly.

“Yeah, of course dude! It’s  _way_  better than okay,” Tyler beamed, “It’s amazing.” And although it was extremely cheesy, he wasn’t even exaggerating. Tyler was such a hopeless romantic. “One might e-even say it’s sick,” He quickly added on the off-chance that it’d make himself sound slightly less like a love-sick puppy.

Josh let out a breathy laugh and nodded in agreement, “Sick as frick, yeah.”

Tyler couldn’t tear his eyes away from the image of their joined hands. He generally couldn’t believe that this was real and this was  _happening_ , and he knew it was absolutely crazy to think so highly of just a little hand-holding because like it’s the most platonic thing ever – but it felt  _electrifying_ and  _warm_ and –  _‘Oh God, I’m so in love.’_  The thought popped into Tyler’s head on its own accord but he didn’t even reject the idea. Actually, he did quite the opposite and just accepted it.

 _‘Well… that was easy… Yeah – I think I love this guy. How could it possibly get any better than this?’_   Tyler thought dreamily. And well, as you can tell, he’s about to find out.

Josh hesitated for a second before shifting his hand around to loosely interlock his fingers with Tyler’s one by one. Tyler stretched out his palm and pushed his fingers further down around Josh’s just because he could. As he did this, Josh turned a shade pinker and swallowed hard. Tyler gave him a shy but reassuring smile as Josh cleared his throat to speak.

“So, uh, I guess I should explain why I brought you onto Brendon’s garage roof of all things…” He chuckled nervously. Tyler squeezed his hand again to prompt him to continue – just because touching Josh was so much better than using actual words and he wanted to take advantage of their current situation.

“Well… you said you wanted your first k-kiss to be special, right?” Josh carried on. Tyler hummed happily and as he realised where this was going and his heart started to pound in his chest; becoming a bundle of nerves and excitement. “So, uhm, when we were inside I sort of saw this spot through the window and thought ‘hey, that looks like a nice spot’ – a special spot,” He quickly added to make sure Tyler was picking up on what he was hinting at (which he obviously was by the looks of his gigantic, cheesy grin) “And, well… Look up.” Josh finished with a confident smile.

Tyler’s excited expression faltered slightly in confusion but he complied and slowly drew his gaze upwards. Somewhere along the line his jaw got left behind because it had dropped open at the sight of the completely awe-inspiring star-littered sky. The first thing Tyler thought was that it looked like someone had dropped a gigantic box of glitter all over the ozone layer – blanketing the world in the most amazing way. He had  _never_  seen the sky like this; his family usually refrained from going to exotic parts of the Earth on vacation and they lived in a pretty industrialised area in contrast to Brendon’s country-side mansion. Who knew that above all the city smog there was… this?

The stars all shone and twinkled in subtly different ways; Tyler picked out a hint of blue, a sparkle of red, and he even spotted a flashing satellite pave its way through the stars like a snowplough through snow. There was also a particular stripe above the boys’ heads where the stars piled up in more numbers and Tyler could’ve sworn that it was the Milky Way – or at least a surreal rip in time and space itself. One of those two.

The stars were so vivid - so  _bright_  that it made Tyler feel hopeful. He didn’t know why it made him feel hopeful, of all things, because the night sky usually reminded him of the insignificance of life and how most of the stars were already dead and have been for thousands of years – and although he was still aware of those thoughts… felt at peace with the notion. Tyler suddenly remembered where he was as Josh’s hand adjusted slightly in his own. He drew his eyes back down to meet with Josh’s deep marbled ones yet again. Yeah, the stars tried – but they just couldn’t compare to the boy in front of him.

“It’s beautiful.” Tyler murmured, not talking about the stars anymore. Josh’s lips parted an inch to say something back but he stopped short and glanced down at the floor to his right. “Josh?” Tyler questioned worriedly as the other boy looked back up at him with a surprised expression on his face.

“Dude, this is like… my favourite song.”

Tyler tilted his head slightly to focus his hearing and – sure enough – he heard music. It was a quiet, mechanical, echoey and repetitive sound but it was definitely there. Tyler compared its likeliness to the piston of an old steam train moving around and around, accompanied by a simple sad piano sequence. Despite all odds, it fit the mood perfectly, so the two stood hand-in-hand listening to the mesmerising music as a man’s soft voice entered the mix along with some subtly distorted guitars.

It was when the drums started to cascade and build up the song that Tyler was inspired to turn back around and face Josh. “You know… I don’t think this moment could get any more perfect.” He murmured with a faint smile before he wet his lips consciously.

“Well maybe it would be if we saw like a spaceship or – I mean a shooting star, that’s more romantic isn’t it? Yeah,” Josh stammered, laughing nervously as he swung their hands by his side.

“I don’t  _need_  a shooting star.” Tyler replied teasingly, looking down at Josh’s lips. If he had to do any more hinting he swore he’d throw Josh off this damn roof.

“Well it’d be pretty cool if-“

“Oh shut up and kiss me already,” Tyler blurted out before rocking forwards and backwards on his heels as his cheeks turned a deeper shade of red. He hoped he hadn’t been too brash but – seriously – when was Josh gonna take a hint? Josh paused for a second as his pursed lips broke out into a warm smile.

“Okay.” He breathed, taking a small step closer. Tyler blinked, surprised he’d agree with him just like that. Tyler’s breathing then shallowed a little as he started to panic,  _‘This is really happening, isn’t it? I’m gonna kiss Josh, oh God.’_ But as he continued to look into Josh's admiring eyes, his anxieties seemed to just melt away. Josh’s line of sight flicked down to Tyler’s lips and back up again as he slowly leaned forwards. Unsurprisingly, Tyler found himself doing the same while his eyelids fluttered eagerly, waiting for the right moment to close. Tyler was now inches away from Josh’s face, and he could feel his warm breath grace his cheeks and chin. As soon as Josh’s eyes closed contently Tyler’s did too, and slowly but surely their noses bumped together and then – finally – their lips met and closed the small gap between them.

It was soft and sweet and Tyler didn’t even realise it but he had gingerly brought a hand up to cup Josh’s rough cheek. Josh’s lips were wet and chapped and Tyler could feel the cold metal of his nose ring against his skin and it was nothing short of  _perfect_. Tyler sighed contently into the kiss once he had adjusted to the sensation and he felt Josh’s lips tighten into a smile against his own. The two swayed slightly as Josh gently pressed a palm against Tyler’s middle back and tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Tyler followed suit as Josh’s bottom lip fell in line with the entrance to his own. Tyler took the opportunity to draw a slow line across it with his tongue – making Josh shudder, but in a good way.

Slowly the two broke apart as the kiss came to a mutual end. Tyler squeezed his eyelids together tightly before blinking them open and was met with Josh’s eyes staring right back at him. The two lingered at their close proximity – so close that they probably wouldn’t even have to move if they wanted to kiss again. And Tyler was wondering just that – if they should kiss again, but Josh had already brought a hand up to the back of Tyler’s neck and lightly pulled their foreheads together with a satisfied grin. The two were on the brink of panting even though the kiss had been far from a makeout session – it was more the nerves and adrenaline causing them to act giddy and breathless.

“Dude…” Josh sighed, looking up into Tyler’s eyes.  _‘His eyelashes look so pretty from the angle.’_  Tyler thought as he giggled.

“I know.”

“You taste like…” Josh breathed dreamily, trying to think up the right words.

“Like redbull and pure passion?” Tyler suggested with a cheesy grin. Josh licked his lips.

“More like pizza and sick.”

“Dude!” Tyler cried jokingly, removing his forehead from Josh’s and taking a step back, “don’t ruin the moment!”

“Don’t dude me, dude! We just made out!” Josh exclaimed with a hearty laugh. Tyler reached forwards to jab Josh playfully in the ribs.

“Well you started it!” He accused jokingly before calming himself down. “We did really kiss, didn’t we? Not to be cheesy but – I’m not dreaming, am I?” Tyler questioned seriously and Josh stifled a laugh.

“Dude this whole thing has been nothing  _but_  cheesy – but yeah, I’m pretty sure we kissed.” Tyler brought his hand up to his mouth so his fingers could ghost along his bottom lip, as if searching for proof.

“Do you wanna maybe… do it again?” He asked slowly, looking at Josh through his eyelashes.

“God, yes-“ Josh breathed, surging forwards just as the balcony door swung open to reveal Brendon and a host of their other friends – all giggling and chatting loudly. The two sprung apart as they shared the same assumption that the group was watching them but then Brendon opened up his big, loud and insensitive mouth.

“Screw you Gerard! You’re gonna look so stupid! Just you wait- oh hey Josh, Tyler.” He nodded to the two dumbfounded teens respectfully before hopping over the balcony railing with unusual ease for someone in such a drunken state. He jumped onto the roof and wobbled a bit before steadying himself and walking over to the edge – indirectly pushing Josh and Tyler out of the way in the process. Tyler rolled his eyes and groaned as he saw Jenna, Hayley, Dallon, Jack, Gerard and Frank all begin to clamber over the railing too. At this rate the roof was in real danger of collapsing under all the weight.  _‘God, please do._ ’ Tyler thought, grimacing as the group moseyed on towards them like they hadn’t just interrupted a particularly intimate moment. Tyler looked over at Josh who seemed just as annoyed as him – which was a pro, he guessed.

Jenna ended up by his side and as he realised he had no idea what was going on, he decided to ask her about it.

“Jen, why’s everyone on the roof?”

“Oh, well after the… you know…” Jenna replied slowly, eyes sneaking a side-look at Josh, “We all started playing truth or dare and Gerard dared Brendon to do a backflip off the garage roof into the pool, so here we are.” She shrugged, moving her gaze over to Brendon who was doing some weird inaccurate stretches.

“Oh…” Tyler replied as Brendon took his shirt off and threw it at an unimpressed Gerard.

“But, yeah Tyler… uhm, are you okay? We wanted to give you some space ‘cause you seemed pretty spooked back there but Josh insisted on coming up to see you…Are you guys on good terms now?” Her voice turned into a whisper and Tyler couldn’t help but smile at the ground.

“Yeah, uh, everything’s fine – I mean, better than fine. I think I would even go as far to say everything is _great_ -“

“Do a flip.” called Gerard in almost monotone, interrupting Tyler’s giddy train of thought as Brendon lined up to the edge of the roof with his arms outstretched.

“That’s the point, fucktard.” He snapped before wobbling a bit.

“Go on then.” Gerard challenged, cocking a hip. Brendon shot him another salty glance before taking a deep breath, bending his knees, and taking off.

Everyone lurched forwards to get a better view, including Tyler and Josh who were now slightly more interested in the current situation than they were before. Brendon folded his knees as they passed over where his head once was and he hit the still water – creating a colossal splash as he basically belly-flopped.

Dallon let out a loud whoop and the other’s joined in with his applause. Tyler even admitted it looked quite cool – _and_ quite tempting. Brendon then resurfaced on his back clutching his pink-looking chest.

“Guys I think one of my nipples was just ripped from my body.”

Gerard ignored him and sauntered around to face the others.

“Well that was boring – what about you Josh, can’t you do a backflip?” All eyes suddenly fell upon Josh who shifted on the spot uncomfortably. And then a stupid, crazy,  _amazing_  idea popped into Tyler’s head.

“Uh, I guess but no way am I doing that, I’m not that stupid.”

“Well I am.” Tyler butted in on an impulse, moving through the small crowd of people to grab Josh’s hand and pull him to the space where Brendon had just been. “Ready?” He flashed a crazed grin at his maybe-more-than-friends-friend, who himself stammered at Tyler's spontaneous outburst.

“Wh- what Tyler? You can’t be seriou-“

“Come on dude! I can’t actually backflip but I just wanna jump in with you,” Tyler whispered hastily into Josh’s ear before pulling back and giving him some serious puppy-dog eyes, “-I mean, it’d be a crime not to since the pool is the _whole reason_ Brendon threw a party in the first place.”

“O-okay, but what about our clothes?” Josh pressed hurriedly as Tyler’s attempt at being spontaneous became less and less so with the more time they spent on the roof. Tyler leaned and peered down at the water distractedly while he itched to jump in.

“Screw the clothes dude! If it means I get to see you shirtless later on, I can handle getting a bit wet. “ Josh let out a hiccup of laughter before Tyler flashed him a mischievous grin and clasped onto his hand tightly.

 “Three! Two! One! GO!” Tyler screamed and pushed himself off of the roof. Josh then followed closely – only because Tyler’s steel grip on his hand said he had to – but as the two plummeted through the air, hand-in-hand, they both let out a loud, triumphant and exhilarating cry that was only muffled by the satisfying sound of their feet hitting the water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed that because - my God - it look me 50,000 odd words to get Joshler to HAPPEN I can't.
> 
> Josh's song is Transatlanticism by Death Cab For Cutie and it's on the TØP spotify playlist 'My Fave Songs From High School' if you wanna give it a cheeky listen xox


	17. A Car, A Kiss, A Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Everyone is hungover except for Tyler who's miraculously fine  
> \- Everyone's moody as hell too (don't hold it against them, nobody's perfect)  
> \- Tyler is a Hopeless Romantic  
> \- Relationship Advice  
> \- There's a surprise in the back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MATE it's been a freaking MONTH since I last updated wtf??
> 
> So a while back I took a break from this fic cause it was my Birthday then I got ill and THEN I got writers block, but I'm back now and will hopefully update every week or so again :) peace out and thanks for all the lovely comments!! <3

“Brendon?”

Tyler carefully pulled at his seatbelt and leant forwards over the middle compartment of the car so he could gently tap his slouched friend on the shoulder.

“Hey, Brendon?” Brendon groaned and shrugged him off, not quite asleep but not quite conscious at the same time. Tyler’s arm lingered by him indecisively as he tried to determine whether he was genuinely asleep or just hiding behind those dark sunglasses of his.

Who could blame him though? It was around half five in the morning and the sun had presumably just peaked over the horizon, but Tyler couldn’t be sure. The morning fog was _so_ thick that only a fraction of the light managed to filter its way through to the ground, and even then the driver had to turn his blinkers on just to see a few metres up the road. Tyler glanced over to the driver’s seat to find a mop of frizzy brown hair suspiciously concealing the said drive'rs face from view. Tyler wasn’t even sure if he knew his name – Rob? Ray? Something like that – but apparently he was some collage guy who attended the party last night and didn’t drink at all, then offered to drive a bunch of hungover kids home as a thank you. Almost too good to be true, right? But to hell with it, Tyler wanted to believe that there's still some good people in this world, and even if he did end up being a psychotic serial murderer - he was a decent driver, at least.

Tyler turned his attention back to Brendon who had now melted even further down in his seat – so much so that his knees were actually touching the airbag. Tyler made a small tutting noise of disapproval before prodding him a little harder.

No response.

It’s a good job Tyler was currently awake and in the car because, hypothetically, killing Brendon would be like taking candy from a baby. To be fair, though, he _had_ drank his own weight (and some more) in alcohol last night, even after numerous people (including _Jack_ ) agreed that downing a mixture of vodka and tequila from his mother’s best vase was a _bad idea_ – yet he insisted he’d be fine.

Unsurprisingly he projectile-vomited in the pool, sending people screaming and flailing from every corner as they tried to get out of the water. Thankfully that was _after_ Tyler and Josh had dried off and passed out on the couch. At that thought Tyler felt a pleasant heat rise in his cheeks as he remembered waking up to Josh snoring with his arms wrapped around Tyler’s legs. They’d slept tops-to-tails again but when you’re on the same small couch it’s pretty hard _not_ to entangle your limbs and basically merge to become one person. Josh even dribbled on his leg a bit but Tyler didn’t mind. He thought it was cute and snapped a pic (for non-blackmail purposes this time).

“Brendon, hey,” Tyler tried a little louder, using his palm to shove Brendon’s shoulder forwards while his grin grew wider by the second. Brendon finally stirred and made a pathetic attempt to bat his hand away but missed by miles. Tyler was getting impatient so he took the initiative to grab his shoulder and shake him awake.

“W-What, Tyler?” Brendon rushed, the sudden shock of being shaken awake causing him to wriggle out of Tyler’s grasp and back himself up against the passenger seat – almost forgetting where he was.

“Guess what.” Tyler half-whispered, trying his best to contain his excitement as Brendon tried to slow his heart rate.

“What.” Brendon questioned bluntly as he realised that his life wasn’t in any direct danger. He let his posture collapse back into a slump and despite his unwillingness, Tyler pressed on.

“You know last night?” He beamed, radiating positivity. Brendon thought his smile was starting to aggravate his migraine.

“No.” Brendon replied with even less enthusiasm than before – if that’s possible.

“Well anyway, me and Josh… we kissed.” Tyler announced through his smile, wringing his hands together as he tried his best to not float off into space or something whilst he waited for Brendon’s response. Disappointingly, Brendon just nodded casually before turning back around and adjusting his sunglasses.

“Yeah I know, Tyler, this is like the third time you’ve told me in the past five minutes.” He sighed, staring despairingly at the empty road ahead of him. Tyler’s smile faltered but only a little.

“Sorry Bren, I just – I gotta keep saying it or I won’t believe it happened, you know?” He explained sheepishly, making gestures with his hands even though Brendon was no longer looking at him. Tyler’s hands fell back down onto his lap with a small, disappointed thud. He thought he deserved at least a _little_ attention seeing as this was a _big step_ in Tyler’s world, but everyone else seemed to be pre-occupied with being general douche-bags and mood-killers.

“Yeah like, no offence Tyler, we get that you’re excited about it and all, but there are _some_ people in this car who’re more hungover than you.” Tyler twisted to look over his shoulder at Jack who was squeezed into the middle seat beneath him; seatbelt stretched tightly around them both.

“I was talking to Brendon, Jack.” Tyler said matter-of-factly which earnt him a leg jolt that nearly sent his head crashing through the car roof.

“There’s like eight of us in this tiny-ass car and _we can all hear you_.” Jack seethed gesturing around the back to Dallon, Jenna, (and on their laps) Melanie and Hayley.

“Hey! Okay, okay. Sorry… ” Tyler mumbled apologetically as he grabbed the side of the passenger seat to steady himself on Jack’s bony thighs (Which weren’t exactly the most comfortable thing he’d ever had the pleasure of sitting on). Then he looked up to find his friend’s unamused and slightly green faces staring back at him and he felt a little pressured to fill the silence. “Uhm… Well… I was gonna tell you all individually – like, cause it’s big news and all – but I might as well say it now since you’re all here. So last night me and Josh k-“

“Yes, yeah, Tyler we get it – you and Josh kissed last night, big whoop!” Tyler twizzled his head around in shock to face Jenna who looked like she had just reached her breaking point. “Last night I drank fanta out of my _shoe_ then continued to _wear it_ but you don’t hear me bragging, at least not while I’m in a car full of people who could throw up at any m-“ Jenna lurched forwards and gagged which caused everyone else to scream and scramble as far away from her as possible – even the _car_ swerved  over to the left. Her hands flew up to her mouth as she tried to gulp it back down whilst Hayley was helplessly splayed out against the back of the driver’s seat with one hand on the window and one knee on the arm rest. For the next few seconds everyone waited in suspense as Jenna made some more obscene guttural noises until, finally, she managed to swallow whatever that was coming up back down. Everyone let out a simultaneous sigh of relief and shuffled back into their positions, which weren’t much more comfortable (or legal) than their former ones. “Sorry, sorry.” Jenna murmured, ducking her head in an apology as everyone asked if she was alright.

Tyler stayed silent and just stared down at the gear stick in front of him, biting his lip as he digested Jenna’s outburst. Out of his field of vision Hayley was shooting daggers at her girlfriend whilst pointing furiously in the direction of Tyler. Jenna put her hands up defensively and shrugged but Hayley was having none of it. Placing her hands firmly on her hips she gave her girlfriend a threatening scowl which was enough to cause Jenna to lower her defences and let out a little sigh of defeat as she moved her gaze back onto Tyler. Deep down she knew she was in the wrong, but at this moment in time she didn’t really have the capacity to care.

“Ty I didn’t… I’m sorry.” She started, slowly reaching out to touch his back. He didn’t flinch at the gesture – he didn’t really react at all, so Jenna continued. “Tyler I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just – we’re all just really tired and hungover and I know can be an insensitive bitch at times so, congrats, you’ve seen that side of me now –“

Tyler turned to look at her with sad but knowing eyes. “No, no I get it I was being annoying, I’ll stop-“

“No, Tyler, you’re perfect.” She growled, effectively shutting him up. “We’re all stoked for you and Josh, really, but like… it was just a kiss, you know? How can you be sure that he wasn’t just in a drunken and horny state, like, the last thing I – the last thing _we_ want is for you to get hurt, Tyler. I mean, me and you _platonically_ _grinded_ for Christ-sake. A kiss doesn’t always mean what you think it does in this day a-and age - Hayley, Hayley babe, stop you’re pressing on my tummy.” Jenna rushed, gently pushing her hands against her girlfriend’s lower back

“Sorry – sorry.” Hayley quickly apologised and tightened her grasp on the grab-handle beside her head, just in case Jenna’s stomach contents decided to make a reappearance.

“Tummy?” Melanie giggled from where she sat cross-legged on Dallon’s lap, both of them intently listening to the conversation from a safe distance (with her knees taking up _most_ of the space in the back – might I add).

“Shut-up.” Was all Jenna could manage as she adjusted her sunglasses and turned back to Tyler.

Tyler frowned, not really understanding what Jenna was implying here. “Well… it definitely wasn’t _just a_ _kiss_ , you know-“

“What? Did he blow ya too?” Brendon piped up from the passenger seat, looking slightly more cheerful now that some ‘drama’ was happening.

“N-no it’s just… he put thought into it, you know? We looked at the stars and held hands a-and his favourite song was playing, like, it was really nice-“

“Pfft, that’s _way_ cheesy dude,” Brendon interrupted rudely, “It’s still just a kiss.”

Tyler’s expression suddenly changed and he glared at Brendon. Everyone else sighed knowingly – there’s only so much ‘Brendon’ anyone can take.

 “Just a _kiss?_ “ Tyler cleared his throat and leaned further forwards, attempting to look intimidating.

“Oh here we go,” Hayley muttered under her breath.

“That was my _first kiss_ , guys, and it was the most _special moment_ of my life _-_ I wouldn’t even be surprised if my _entire life_ lead up to that singular moment because it was so _perfect_ –“

“Try and be a little more melodramatic, will ya?” Melanie pointed out sarcastically. Tyler turned his glare onto her before shooting it back at Brendon.

“Don’t Mel, you’ll just encourage him!” Jenna hissed at her behind Tyler’s head.

Brendon ignored Jenna and snorted at Melanie’s comment. “Yeah, if he’s like _this_ over a _kiss,_ imagine what he’ll be like when he loses his _virginity_.”

“Hey!” Tyler exclaimed defensively as a few half-hearted giggled echoed about the car. “How are _you_ supposed to know if I’m a virgin or not? You only became friends with me like a few weeks ago; I could be a _massive_ player!”

“Yeah well the thing is Tyler _’massive players’_ don’t label themselves as  _'massive players'_.” Brendon snorted with a wicked grin on his face.

“Yeah, sorry kid,” The designated driver piped up, frizzy hair shifting against the head rest as he looked at Tyler through the rear view mirror. “I don’t even know you but I’m like 99% sure you’re a virgin.”

“Am not.” Tyler retreated, crossing his arms sulkily.

“Are too.” Brendon challenged, obviously enjoying himself.

“Am not! I’ve destroyed the pussy many-a-time I’ll have you know.” Tyler straightened his back and puffed his chest out before the car erupted into a fit of laughter. Even Jenna couldn’t hold herself back from a slight chuckle.

“You have _not_ destroyed any pussy, Jesus Christ! You’ve innocently held hands with little Joshie and kissed him _once!_ ” Brendon laughed heartily as Tyler pursed his lips. "I bet you didn't even use tongues..." He smirked satisfactorily while Tyler sat there reeking of anger.

“I’ve destroyed more pussy than _you_.” Tyler sneered quietly, not knowing what else to say.

“I’m _GAY!?_ ” Brendon exclaimed, leaning through the seats so far he was practically in the back with them too.

“So?” Tyler challenged moodily, staring down his nose at Brendon.

“Okay, now I’m 100% sure you’re a virgin.” The college guy announced with a light laugh, flicking his eyes up to meet with Tyler’s for a second as he signalled off the highway.

“Well… screw you guys,” Tyler said quietly, deciding that giving up would be the easiest way to end the damned conversation. Dallon patted him on the back sympathetically and Tyler sighed.

“I mean… maybe I won’t be one for much longer…” he quickly muttered under his breath as the laughter echoing about the car began to die down.

“What?” Brendon questioned, snapping back to attention as he overheard Tyler talking to himself.

“Nothing.” Tyler cleared his throat and faked a smile.

“Dude, don’t tell me you’re thinking about boning Josh _already_?” Tyler jumped as he felt Jack’s breath on the back of his neck.

“No!? ‘Course not!” He answered a little too quickly and a little to defensively and he knew it. Like moths to a flame, Jack and Brendon caught onto his lies and Tyler debated on whether jumping out of the window would be better than sitting here listening to those two squawk about his love life.

“Oh man, this is priceless – this has got to be one of the greatest transformations in history,” Brendon began dramatically, throwing his hands up in front of him, “A homophobic, Christian jock meets a guy and only  _three weeks later_ he’s head-over-heels and beggin’ for dat _DICK_!”

“I’m not-“ Tyler cried, trying to cut in but failing miserably.

“Like dude! You’re not even boyfriends yet, all you’ve done is kiss!” Brendon carried on carelessly, oblivious that Tyler’s confidence was surging the longer he teased him. “How do you expect to get him in bed? The dude is constantly nervous as is it-”

“I- I didn’t even think about it that way…” Tyler said out-loud to himself, staring down at his hands.

“What way?” Brendon questioned, forgetting whatever he was just rambling on about almost instantly.

“All we’ve done is kiss! Oh gosh, what if he doesn’t want me as a boyfriend!? What if –“

“Woah, calm down there Tyler, we were just teasing.” Brendon said defensively as if he hadn’t just planted those thoughts into Tyler’s head. Jack, on the other hand, offered him a simple pat of reassurance.

“Yeah, dude, if there’s anything we know about Josh it’s that he’s totally into you.“

Tyler couldn’t help but feel a pang disappointed at the fact that Jack didn’t say ‘he’s head over heels for you’, but _’Hey, that’s life_ , _’_ he thought, trying his best to suppress the sinking feeling and carry on this conversation that was almost civil.

“I thought you guys said he has commitment issues though– what if he’s not ready? Heck, what if _I’m_ not ready?”

“Just use lube, dude. You’ll be fine.” Brendon said in all seriousness, waving a hand dismissively. The car fell deadly silent and Tyler felt his cheeks burn as he realised what he had meant.

“ _Brendon!_ ” Jenna hissed, scalding him like a mother would with her child.

“N-no!? I’m talking about becoming b-boyfriends not – not _that!_ ” Tyler stammered. That was a step even _he_ hadn’t thought about yet. Well, not that much, anyway.

“Ohhh,” Brendon nodded, finally getting it. “Well I didn’t expect this car journey to turn into a relationship advice discussion but how about this,” Brendon shuffled further towards Tyler and paused dramatically. “Just ask him if he wants to be your boyfriend.”

“Just ask him…” Tyler echoed quietly before suddenly bursting out into a crazed fit of laughter. “Just ask him! Just ask him!? Oh yeah, I’ll just ask him! Sure thing-“ Tyler’s outburst was suddenly interrupted by a loud thumping noise coming from inside the trunk, cutting all actions short and causing everyone to turn around and stare.

“Is everything okay up there? I can hear you guys, you know.” Josh’s voice came muffled through the parcel-shelf felt and Brendon supressed a high pitched snicker as Tyler’s flush returned to his face like it had never left.

“Y-yeah everything’s fine!” Tyler called back hastily before anyone else could speak up and embarrass him further. _‘Oh shit, did Josh hear me?’_ Thoughts of the previous conversation ran through his mind and he panicked more. _‘Oh God, oh shit, did he hear the stuff about sex and boyfriends and – just change the subject Tyler – change the subject.’_

“Guys, uh, why did you have to put Josh in the trunk again?” Tyler blurted out as it was the only conversation starter he could think up in his current state.

“He didn’t call shotgun.” Brendon shrugged simply. Tyler narrowed his eyes in annoyance, but was relieved when Jenna spoke up. He casually brought a hand up to his face and subtly drew it along both cheeks – hoping that it’d somehow wipe away the blush.

“Brendon, he was busy apologising to _your_ neighbour for waking her up at four thirty in the morning because of the pizza  _you_ threw at her bedroom window!” Jenna exclaimed, baffled.

“Yeah? So? He still didn’t call shotgun.” Brendon replied lazily, unfazed by the whole ordeal. “Also, that was awesome – who knew that pizza Frisbee actually works?”

“She whacked him with her handbag, Brendon!” Jenna emphasized. Brendon just shrugged and gave her a long, cheesy smile before clambering back into the passenger seat.

“Geez...” Tyler tutted, rolling his eyes before the car (thankfully) fell into a solid silence once more.

                    -

It took Tyler approximately 12 seconds before he was thinking about Josh again; looking out of the window all dramatically like he was in some cheesy romance film.

_‘They’re right though… We’re not even ‘together’ together. Are we. I mean… we both admitted to liking each other so… what else is there to do? Does it make us automatically boyfriends? Well obviously not otherwise I wouldn’t be having this whole internal monologue about it. Damn. Does this mean I need to ask him then? How the hell do I go about that?’_

Brendon’s annoying voice repeated itself in his brain, _‘Just ask him.’_

‘ _N-no I couldn’t… I wanna do something special – but you always wanna do something ‘special’, you were gonna_ _buy_ _him flowers when he was ill that one time - you don't want him to think you're too eager_ _also do you want to wait that long? No, not really – then just do it, he’ll say yes – probably – I hope so.’_  Tyler’s scrambled back-and-forth thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Ray.

“Hey you, Tyler, right?” He called, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Yeah?” Tyler snapped out of his daydream and looked up at the back of Ray’s frizzy head.

“What number are you?”

“Huh?” Tyler said quietly, confused for a second.

“What house number, dude.” Ray chuckled and Tyler blushed a little, realising they were on his street.

“O-oh, forty three.”

“Nice.”

The car came to a churning halt in the middle of the road and Tyler was about to ask if they had just broken down before the little voice of logic in the back of his brain told him _‘there aren’t any cars about at this time in the morning. You can practically do what you want.’_

“Thanks for the lift, man.” Tyler nodded at Ray before Jack kindly undid their seatbelt. Tyler paused and looked around at his friends, feeling an overwhelming sense of belonging.

“Despite the fact that you can all be dicks sometimes, I love you guys and thanks for an amazing night.” Everyone let out a beat of laughter and 'aww's of effection as Melanie clapped her hands together and opened the car door.

“Take care, Tyler.” Jenna cooed whilst patting his shoulder affectionately. Both Melanie and Dallon shuffled out of the car to let him through. Tyler carefully slid off Jack’s lap and onto the now-empty seat beside him before pausing again.

“I’m glad you all took my party virginity.”

“Whoop! You know it!” Called Brendon, raising his hand up for a high – five. Tyler gratefully smacked it with his own before giving a final wave.

"I’ll see you guys Monday.”

“Bye Tyler!” Hayley called as she clambered out of the small car and stretched her cramped legs.

“Later alligator,” Melanie smiled to the left of him before wrapping her arms around his middle in a quick but tight hug. Dallon reached out from where he was leaning against the car to pat Tyler on the back, almost in congratulation.

“See ya, dude - and you might wanna let Josh know there’s now a space available up front.” Dallon stuck out a thumb in the direction of the trunk and _winked_ at Tyler before sliding back into the car.

 _‘Why’d he wink? What’s that supposed to mean? Fuck, Josh heard everything from earlier, how am I gonna face him – just don’t talk about it, just act normal – but what if he thinks I’m uninterested – of course he won’t think that-‘_ Tyler flinched as the car horn sounded and Brendon’s head appeared from a wound-down window.

“Hurry up lover-boy! I bet Josh is feeling pretty cramped right now!”

“R-right sorry,” Tyler snapped out of his daydream and speed-walked over to the back of the car. _‘I guess the plan is no plan.’_ He thought hastily as he grasped and pressed into the the handle. The boot sprung up energetically to reveal an awkwardly twisted and _very_ tear-stained Josh Dun.

“J-Josh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to end it on a bad note but it's all gonna be good in the end m8 #TylerSupportingAndComfortingClaustrophobicJoshFTW


	18. Two Hearts In Five Weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: There's a bit of claustrophobia described & implied in this chapter, Josh's speech is also physically broken up at times and homophobia / internalized homophobia is mentioned so if any of these things trigger you please be careful!
> 
> \- Tyjo tries to help  
> \- Tyjo tries to help some more  
> \- Tyjo makes things marginally better and worse at the same time  
> \- Awkward  
> \- Not so awkward  
> \- Kinda Awkward  
> \- Cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the previous Chapter:
> 
> Tyler snapped out of his daydream and speed-walked over to the back of the car. ‘I guess the plan is no plan.’ He thought as he grasped and pressed into the the handle. The boot sprung up energetically to reveal an awkwardly twisted and very tear-stained Josh Dun.
> 
> “J-Josh?”

Tyler had no idea what to expect when he opened that trunk but it certainly wasn’t this.

Josh was lying on his side, awkwardly twisted and curled up in order fit into the tiny dark space with white knuckles clutching at his chest. His creased T-shirt was sticking to his body in places due to sweat and his blue hair was matted uncomfortably to his forehead. To top it all off, though, his face was completely tear-stained and blotchy and his whole body was quaking in fear.

All Tyler could do was stand and stare as Josh reluctantly drew his hard gaze up to meet with his. It didn’t take an expert to deduce that Josh was trying his hardest to keep a straight face, yet Tyler noticed there was still a small glimmer of shame in his expression and it broke his heart to think that Josh was probably blaming himself for all this and not Brendon and the others who were the ones who suggested he get in the trunk in the first place. Hell, Brendon didn’t even  _need_ a ride; the party was at  _his_  freaking house. But in all fairness, the others probably had no idea something like this could happen as a consequence and were just as guilty as, say, Tyler or even Josh himself.

That thought briefly crossed Tyler’s mind but he quickly brushed it aside as his bubbling rage told him he  _needed_  someone to blame for this. Josh suddenly cleared his throat to speak and Tyler’s attention was brought back to the situation at hand. Consciously, Josh cast his eyes downwards in response to Tyler's borderline threatening stare.

“…I need a cigarette.” He finally croaked out before braving an effort to manoeuvre out of his flattened position by grabbing the sides of the trunk with his obviously shaking hands. Tyler snapped out of his frozen and mute state in order to jolt forwards and stop Josh before he hurt himself.

“Dude - just hold up, are you okay?” Tyler said sternly, placing a firm hand on his shoulder as he tried to catch Josh’s averting eyes.

“Does it _look_  like I’m-” Josh choked on his words and looked down before taking another shaky breath. Tyler’s grip on his shoulder loosened as he turned to look around; panicking about what the protocol for something like... this is. Josh looked like he was on the brink of another panic attack and Tyler was pretty sure it wasn’t helping that he was still in the trunk that caused the attack, in public, and no more than a few feet away from his oblivious friends. All Tyler’s gut was telling him to do was get Josh out of there - and quick.

“Uh, okay it’s okay, just – uh, do you want to come and, uh, stay at my house for a bit?” Tyler’s voice went up particularly high at the end as if he was asking himself the same question; almost falling into the trap of thinking about what his dad would have to say on the matter. Instead he drowned those thoughts out with a loud and righteous  _’Fuck him. Josh comes first.’_

“It’s already morning. I don’t want to cause you any trouble.” Josh replied weakly as he continued to look down, his matted head swaying loosely from side to side. Tyler bent down further so he could at least  _almost_  look him in the eye.

“Dude, come on, it’s no trouble. And you can’t exactly stay out here can you…?”

Josh shrugged nonchalantly before pausing and nodding furiously with tears pricking back up in the corners of his eyes. Somehow Tyler had a feeling this would end up happening. Bottling it up isn’t really the best way to cope with anxiety; that’s why he wrote poetry and lyrics (apparently).

“Okay, uhm, can you walk? Oh, uh, let me just-“ Tyler’s heart started pounding in his chest as he sprinted back around to the side of the car, suddenly realising what he was getting himself into. Tyler never had friends over,  _never -_ and that begs the question - what would his parents think? Tyler was being blatantly paranoid by this point, but every scenario he was imagining of his parents meeting Josh ended with either Josh leaving him or his parents kicking him out, so Tyler quickly decided that it would probably be best if the whole meeting thing could just be avoided. If push came to shove he'd just have to sneak Josh in.

As he scanned the car Tyler instantly saw Brendon’s big head leaning up against the glass window of the passenger seat so he urgently reached out and knocked on it, waking him up with a jolt. Brendon looked at Tyler disgustedly before seeing the panic in his eyes and went to manually roll down the window.

“Tyler, what the he-“

“Okay so, um, I’m taking Josh back into the house – back into my house, I mean, because uh…” Tyler’s mind went blank. He wanted Brendon to feel deathly guilty about what he had put Josh through, but would Josh even be okay with the others knowing he had an anxiety attack in the trunk? Did they even  _know_  he had anxiety? Tyler held his tongue about the details but he didn’t really have a proper excuse handy so he just ran back around to the trunk. A few confused mumbles came from within the car but at least no one got out to protest. For once he was thankful that everyone was in a docile and hungover state.

As Tyler returned Josh was now sitting up on the edge of the trunk with his head hanging in his hands and his posture limp.

“Josh? You still okay?” Tyler rushed to his side just in time to hear him mumble an inaudible response directed at his lap.

"Okay, uh, we're gonna get you inside now so..." Tyler bit his lip in hesitation before taking the initiative to bend down and wrap an arm around Josh just above his waist. Thankfully, Josh didn't recoil and instead swayed into the motion naturally as Tyler heaved him up, bringing one of his arms up around the back of Tyler’s neck. The two stumbled across the front lawn - ignoring any stares from the car - and into the house after Tyler fumbled for his keys in his back pocket. He didn’t turn to wave at the others.

As soon as they stepped through the doorway something in Josh switched and he let out a loud sob, caving in as he sunk down the back of the door and onto the cold floor. Tyler – with his arm still clutching tightly to his side – was pulled down with him. Josh almost immediately unscrambled his legs so he could bring his knees up to his chest and muffle his cries into them. Tyler had already moved his arm so it was clinging protectively to his shoulder and he started to rub comforting circles into the material there. Josh leaned into the gesture again, allowing Tyler to wrap his other arm around his sobbing frame and rest his chin on top of Josh’s head.

“I-it was s-so dark a…and I couldn’t see-“ Josh’s heaving breaths made his speech broken and nearly inaudible. Tyler winced at the sound and raised a hand to stroke his blue hair away from his face, hushing him quietly.

“Shh, it’s okay. You don’t need to explain yourself.” Tyler scooted closer and started rocking them both lightly. He hoped Josh wouldn’t think he was being  _too_  patronising, but it was all he could think to do in order to calm him down. Besides, whenever Tyler would cry he’d usually find some kind of comfort in rocking himself – however strange that may sound out loud.

“You’re okay Josh, you’re alright, you’re alright.” He murmured back in the calmest voice he could put on right now. Josh’s sobs got a little lighter and more spaced out as he tried to control his breathing before he spoke again.

“I- I tried to listen to y-our convers-ation as a, um,” Josh sniffed and gulped before carrying on with his ramblings, “-a distraction b-but you all s-stopped.” Josh silenced himself before he could roll into another round of tears and Tyler chewed on this inside of his cheek a little.

“I know I know I’m, uh, I'm sorry we stopped talking. It was just getting a bit awkward, I guess.” It was a weak excuse and Tyler felt guilty as hell, even though there was no way he could’ve known that their conversation was the only thing keeping Josh from having a nervous breakdown in the back of the car. He honestly would’ve blabbed about any old thing had that been the case but instead he talked about… relationships. Tyler felt his stomach drop a little. “How much of that did you hear, by the way?” He tried turning his embarrassment into a bit of a joke, mainly because he was desperate to change the subject to something- _anything_  lighter. Tyler tilted his head and smiled at Josh who, in turn, leaned into his knees sheepishly.

“Um… enough-h…” Josh let out a stuffy laugh as he wiped his cheeks with the back of a hand.

“Uh-huh…” Tyler prompted, unconvinced.

“Enough to…to know you’re still a virgin…” Josh carried on with a smile creeping up on his lips, looking over at Tyler teasingly. Tyler rolled his eyes exaggeratedly and knocked the back of his head against the door with a huff.

“If you weren’t in this state right now I’d kick your ass.” Tyler mumbled back in mock anger but Josh had already moved on, gnawing at his cheek as he released his knees from his chest to get a better look at Tyler.

“And that you wanna be my, uhm, be my boyfriend?”

Tyler’s heart jumped in his chest as he quickly dropped his embarrassed gaze to the floor. He can take being made fun of for being a virgin but this... this was thinner ice. “Well… uhm… yeah… you got me there. I kinda, uhm, do…want that.” He rambled, letting one of the arms he had flung around Josh drop to fiddle with the stitching of his jeans.

“Good.” Josh said in an unreadable tone. Tyler blinked and was suddenly deathly conscious of every part of Josh that was touching him and all he wanted to do was recoil like a snake. He felt ironically claustrophobic.

“…'Good'?” He questioned cautiously.  _‘Good? What does ‘good’ mean? ‘Good’ as in 'I like that you like me but I don’t like you back?’'_  It was like someone had turned up the central heating in Tyler’s body because – boy – was he sweating. Tyler drew his gaze up slowly just in time to see Josh wet his lips in preparation of what he was going to say next.

“I-I mean 'good' as in yeah. Y-yeah I’ll be your boyfriend.” There was a pause as two equally large grins spread over both boys' faces.

“Really? Like really really?” Tyler stammered as Josh nodded furiously.

“Really really.” Josh reassured and then Tyler let out the giddiest noise he had ever made in his whole life.

“I – I?” He stammered again, his posture becoming miraculously straight. His shoulders relaxed a little as he looked down at the floor for a second. He honestly thought his brain was shutting down. He looked back over at Josh who was smiling like an idiot even though his cheeks were still wet with tears. This must be the best and worst day of Tyler’s life and the two polars were flipping madly in his mind but – as always – the happiness won. “Wow.” He breathed, mind going blank of all other words to describe how he was feeling: Overjoyed? In shock? Euphoric? Scared? In  _love_? Probably all of the above, but Tyler couldn’t express any of that without  _talking,_  which he was obviously incapable of doing at this moment in time. So he hoped a kiss would do.

Josh’s laughter got caught in his throat as Tyler pressed his lips against his. Tyler gingerly brought a hand up to grasp at the material at the base of Josh's neck as Josh started kissing back. Josh’s mouth was hot and wet this time and so was his breath when they finally pulled apart. Tyler smiled again as he looked into Josh’s heart-meltingly warm but slightly reddened eyes. Being this close to him, Tyler could inspect them in all of their glory - every speck, every vein, every detail that he refused to ignore. But suddenly Josh’s eyelids were fluttering and more tears were spilling out over his cheeks.

“Oh shit, nononono-“ Tyler whispered as he automatically went to wipe them away. He hesitated at the last minute but his fingertips were already on Josh’s skin, so he thought he might as well follow through.

“Tyler?”

Tyler's head shot up to meet with the confused and tired gaze of his mother who was standing wrapped in her dressing gown at the top of the stairs.

“M-mom?” Tyler’s hands retracted from Josh who had only just noticed the figure looming over them. His shoulders froze under Tyler’s arm and he stared at the ground like it was going to swallow him up.

“I – um…” Tyler began, breaking the silence for a second before it determinedly crawled back into the air. He consciously wiped his semi-wet hands on the thighs of his jeans before giving up and joining Josh in staring intensely at the floor. After a few awkward moments his mother finally cleared her throat.

“Well, this certainly is a surprise – and I was prepared for  _a lot_  of surprises.” She joked half-heartedly. Tyler looked up to find her flashing a cheery smile, which was definitely a change to the fake one she uses when his dad is around. It was suddenly like she had switched to being the authoritative one and Tyler was rightly suspicious, even though he'd much rather his mother be like this than be passive to everything his father would say and do like she usually does.

“Y-yeah this is, um –“ Tyler looked back over at Josh who was – yet again – a shaking mess.

“Josh? I presume? It’s very nice to meet you.” She smiled sickeningly and Tyler prayed she wouldn’t start coming down the stairs. He has the situation under control – or, rather, he  _had_  the situation under control before she decided to stick her nose in.

Josh gave a small polite nod before raising his shaky voice. “This i-s rea-lly not a g-good first impression-n, is it.” Tyler and his mother both gave him an equally pitiful smile as he tried to hold himself together.

“Don’t worry dear, I won’t hold it against you. It looks like you’ve been through quite the ordeal.” Her eyes flicked over to Tyler for a second before they landed back on Josh. “I’ll go and get some tissues.” And with that Tyler’s mom turned on her heel and vanished down the hall.

As soon as her footsteps were out of earshot both boys let out a sigh of relief, Tyler's only lasting a beat before he was quickly jumping to his feet and offering Josh a hand.

“I-is she…?” Josh started to question, grabbing a hold of Tyler’s outstretched palm. Both boys were scared out of their wits and wondering how much she’d seen or heard.

“She’s fine, it’s fine, I think… let’s just get to my room before she comes back.” Tyler rushed, pulling Josh up and leading him through the house. Josh hesitated for a second.

“I, um, I could use some t-tissues, actually.”

Without missing a beat Tyler replied, sharply turning a corner. “Don’t worry I have like five packs down in my room.”

Josh bit his lip, and tried to hide an unexpected smile as they reached the top of the basement stairs. Tyler suddenly caught onto the look Josh was giving him and rolled his eyes dramatically.

“N-not like that! I don’t even… Jeez!” He stomped down the first step and heard Josh stifle a snicker behind him. At least he was laughing again. “I can't believe you're _joking_ at a time like this!” Tyler exclaimed, sporting a badly hidden smile as he kicked open his bedroom door (as per habit). When he was faced with the familiar darkness he suddenly stopped and realised that this was the _first time_ Josh would get see his room. With ‘first impressions’ in foremost of his mind he quickly shuffled past Josh and started darting about the dark room, collecting any discarded clothes or underwear so it might look at least _half decent_ before Josh had a chance to adjust his eyes to the lighting.

“S-so this is your room, huh.” Josh stated, mildly unimpressed as he squinted into the darkness.

“Yeah. I mean it’s away from all the chaos upstairs so…” Tyler shoved everything he had gathered into the closest drawer then flipped on the light switch. “I’m also the least favourite child which means I get the bedroom that's not really supposed to be a bedroom.” Tyler said cynically as he turned to crawl onto the covers of his messily made bed. Josh just hovered awkwardly at the door and Tyler noticed, quickly adding, “-you can sit… by the way.”

Josh nodded and walked around to the other side of Tyler’s double bed, flopping down so his head was resting on the pillow. Tyler leaned in closer so he was overlooking him.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He said softly. Josh had his eyes closed and his fingers interlocked on his chest and he was breathing softly.

“Not really.” He hummed, blinking one eye open to look up at Tyler. Tyler thought his heart might’ve melted a little.

“That’s okay.” He choked out, flashing a small smile as Josh shut his eyes again.

“I’m tired.”

“Well, uh… 'su casa es mi casa', right? No-no, I mean – 'mi casa es su casa'.” Tyler stuttered, a little frustrated that Spanish class had failed him so badly. Josh blinked his eyes open and raised an eyebrow at the boy above him.

“Come again?”

“You can sleep here, and I’ll, uh, get the blow up bed out or something –“ Tyler started to shuffle off the bed but Josh reflexively reached out and grabbed his wrist.

“No! Uh, I mean, no, stay…please?” Tyler froze and Josh hastily released his wrist, hand falling to the bed with a dull thud as he tried to hide the embarrassment of his sudden needy outburst by staring up at the ceiling. 

"S-sure." Tyler quietly agreed and sat back down on the bed. "Do you, uh, want to change into some sweatpants or something?" He carried on tentatively, noticing Josh was still wearing clothes from the night before. 

"No, I'm fine mom." Josh smiled happily and rolled his eyes at Tyler, secretly glad the conversation had swiftly moved on. "Do you mind if I - uh, we - get under the covers though? It's kinda chilly in here." Josh asked respectfully, fingers tugging at the sheet below him.

"Y-yeah, 'course." Tyler replied distantly as Josh sat up and shimmied under the covers. Tyler stayed immobile, having a slight internal battle of his own.  _'What am I supposed to do? Get under there with him? But what if he thinks I'm... I'm trying something on? Jeez maybe I should just go tops to tails again like we usually do or-'_

“Ty.” Josh's voice silenced Tyler's conflicting thoughts and he was forced to look down at the boy who was already wrapped up snugly in his covers like a burrito.

“Yeah?” He replied as naturally as he could. Josh paused as his eyes flicked nervously to the left.

“Can you just… we’re boyfriends now for God’s sake.” Josh started staring intensely at the ceiling again, probably trying to hide a blush.

“Uhh…?” Tyler’s heart fluttered as his mind conjured up endless interpretations of what Josh had just said.

“Dude, I mean just-just get under the covers with me, okay.” Josh carried on in a slightly annoyed tone, face going a deeper and harder to hide shade of red.

Tyler bit his lip as he nodded and slowly pulled the covers over himself.Their eyes met briefly which spurred them both into a blushing fiasco and the air became almost stagnant with awkwardness. 

The two boys laid there staring straight ahead, both trying to control the fact that their hearts were pounding and their cheeks were flushed. God – it was so elementary but neither of them knew what to do: They had never been on a date, only kissed each other  _twice_  (both instances occurring in the last twenty-four hours) and had known each other for what? Like five-or-so weeks? Tyler was panicking and shifted his legs restlessly underneath the covers. He was having second thoughts about the whole thing and he had a feeling Josh probably was too. Cautiously he turned his head to the side to see if Josh was still awake and, sure enough, two large dark irises were already staring back at him. Upon acknowledgment of each other, both boys snapped opened their mouths simultaneously.

"We're not rushing this, are we?"

"I think we should talk-"

After another beat of silence the two looked away from each other again, staring back up at the ceiling.

"Sorry, you go first." Tyler suggested politely as Josh wiped his hands nervously beneath the covers.

"Okay, uh... well," Josh started slowly. "I'm not really good with this relationship stuff, but uhm, I dunno… look, can I just be completely honest here?” Tyler stayed quiet for a second until he realised Josh was genuinely asking him a question.

“O-oh, yeah. ‘Course.” He stuttered, lolling his head to the side to face Josh who was giving him a serious look.

“Like… before when we talked about all that  _stuff_ \- that kind of honest?” Josh added, referencing to the time they sort of ended up sharing all their deepest darkest secrets.

“Y-yeah, go ahead. Scouts Honour kind of honesty.” Tyler said with a confident nod, trying to sound more reassuring this time.

“Okay well honestly… this is really awkward.” Josh breathed and it was like the fog had lifted. In other words, Josh had broken the ice and things didn’t seem so awkward anymore (ironically). Tyler released a breath that turned into a slight chuckle and nodded, prompting Josh to continue.

“Like, I know relationships are  _supposed_  to be messy and awkward but… a lot of that can be avoided if we just agree to be straight with each other.” Josh suggested logically.

“Well I don’t know how that’s gonna work since we’re both _guys_ -” Tyler joked in a serious tone before being cut off by Josh.

“Shut- _up_ , you know what I mean! If you haven’t noticed I’m trying to have a serious relationship talk here.” He laughed and a well-needed smile broke out over Tyler’s face too.

“I know I know, I'm sorry.” Tyler apologised quickly before carrying on, “But, yeah I get it. We should just be one-hundred-percent honest with each other, like, off the bat.”

“Agreed,” Josh chimed in, nodding his head before rolling onto his side to face Tyler. “So like… what do you think about this whole, uh, ‘boyfriends’ thing then.”

Tyler swallowed hard, reminding himself to try and be honest. “Uh, well, I really do like you like  _that_ but, uh, I don’t know. I think I’m just scared of the label.”

“Scared as in you don’t wanna commit to an official relationship or scared as in you don’t like what you and others associate with the label itself?” Tyler paused for a second, digesting Josh's articulated question.

“Nice inference, Joshua,” Tyler noted, impressed.

“Thanks man, I’ve spent _a lot_ of time with therapists.” Josh nodded in a slight bragging tone.

“But I dunno. I guess I’m scared because ‘boyfriend’ makes it real, like, more than just a weird mutual crush. It means we have to tell people and I have to c-come out and… I don’t think I’m ready for that.” Tyler finished, voice dwindling in volume at the end.

“You don’t have to do any of that, dude. We don’t even need to tell people because, well, we know and that’s all that matters right?”

“But we’ll have to tell people eventually – i-if we stay together for that long, I mean. It's just that we’re in a  _gay_  relationship and it doesn’t even matter that you’re bi and I’m pan because we’re two _dudes_  and that’s all anyone’s gonna see.”

“So you’re ashamed of being in a relationship with a guy?” Josh asked with unnatural calmness. Tyler literally felt like he was talking to a therapist and he kind of liked it. He liked that he was able to be honest with himself in a way he could never be honest when he’s by himself, even with his little book. He could hardly believe it himself but for once in his life talking about stuff  _actually_  helped.

“N-no, well, maybe. I think I’m more scared than ashamed or anything because I was brought up to think a certain way and – I know that doesn’t excuse anything but – the kind of treatment I’ve seen guys – a-and girls get just because of  _that_ … it terrifies me, Josh.” At this moment, Tyler was specifically thinking back to all the times his dad had made comments about ‘ _those_   _people_ ’, those  _‘sinners’_  and what he’d probably do to Tyler if he found out about him and Josh. That was a little harder to admit out loud, though. Josh paused and thought for a second, eyebrows knitting together ever so slightly.

“I know you’re probably thinking about your family and friends and well, the _world_ , a-and I know there’s that possibility we’d get harassed or something but people are much more _tolerable_ now – and the world isn’t really that small, Tyler. We don’t, like, announce our relationship through a megaphone and suddenly everyone in the world knows our business and goes out of their way to belittle us. We get to pick and choose who we tell and I'm sure we'll be able to handle it _together_. Besides, we can worry about all that stuff later…” Josh shuffled a bit closer to Tyler and suddenly Tyler felt a warm hand slip into his. “And I don’t know about you but… if you haven’t got a problem with  _me_ specifically… I kinda  _do_  want to try out this relationship thingy?”

“Josh you’re… you’re perfect.” Tyler blurted out, a blush returning to his cheeks as he took Josh’s hand in his. Josh flashed a smile and squeezed his hand in return.

“I’ll take that as a yes?” He asked sheepishly, eyes squinting as he chuckled.

“Y-yeah. Yes. It’s all just a bit new. I think I get a little hung up on what other people think, but talking about it helped and it kinda made me realise that I shouldn’t care about what other people think. Especially when I’ve got you by my side.”

“Oh you sweet-talker you” Josh chuckled and joke-slapped Tyler playfully. 

“Well, that and the whole ‘pray the gay away’ thing.” Tyler laughed to himself. It looked like oversharing and making fun of his insecurities was his speciality.

“Jeez, tell me about it.” Josh added with a sympathetic smile. Tyler cleared his throat, not willing to let his sad life dampen the mood.

“But what about you? While we’re at it do you wanna get anything off your chest?”

“Not really. I was just worried that everything would be awkward as hell but… we got over that one pretty quickly, didn’t we.” He let out a hiccup of laughter and Tyler held onto his hand tighter. “Who’d have thought it? We _are_ capable of sorting things out like actual adults! But oh, wait, there is one thing.” Josh added quickly, interrupting himself.

“Fire away.” Tyler shrugged, moving his other hand to rest easy on his pillow underneath the prickly back of his head. Josh’s smile vanished and he inhaled a deep breath.

“I have a massive foot fetish and when I got to wear your shoes that one time I was like rock hard for the _entire_  day. _Phew_ , that felt good to get off my chest." Tyler froze and his jaw fully dropped before he realised Josh was _joking_. Or at least he really freaking hoped he was.

“If you ever say something like that again I’m dumping you,” He deadpanned as Josh somehow managed to keep a straight face.

“But babe-“

“I’m not even kidding Josh, don’t test me.” Josh’s serious façade broke for a second as he looked away and flashed a smile.

“All I’m saying is if I _did_ have a foot fetish you’re being really close-minded Tyler. No-one likes a kink-shamer.” Tyler removed his hand from the back of his head and pointed it at Josh sternly.

“Shut the hell up and go to sleep. I thought you were tired.”

“Yea, until you took your socks off and-“

“Goodnight, Josh.” Tyler rolled over to face the other way so he could finally crack a smile, but after a few moments of silence (and no reply from Josh) Tyler turned back around; half-worried that Josh thought he was genuinely mad or even worse – Josh was being dead serious.

“You were joking right?” Tyler cautiously whispered in Josh’s direction. Thankfully, Josh’s voice came bouncing back in, as always, an unreadable tone.

“No. I _really_ wanna shove your foot in my mouth.”

“I hate you.” Tyler turned back around but kept a firm hold on Josh’s hand.

“You don’t mean that.” Josh replied instantly and Tyler sighed.

“Well, you’re kinda tolerable sometimes. I guess.” He had a smile teasing at the corners of his mouth again which suddenly changed into an unintentional gasp as he felt Josh’s had slip out of his and instead wrap around his waist.

“How about now?” He said quietly, shuffling closer so they were   _almost_ touching but not quite. Even so, Tyler could still feel the heat of Josh's body warm his back and his breath tickle the skin at the top of his spine and it made Tyler want more. Slowly, he relaxed his body and pushed back into Josh's touch before closing his eyes and allowing a smile to creep up on his expression.

“Better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long to update again, I made this chapter way longer than it needed to be but what can I say¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I'm trash lol


	19. Thinking For Myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Josh is unconscious  
> \- Tyler thinks about his hair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, I'm still here folks! So so so sorry for not updating sooner, I had a bit of writers block and sixth form stuff, but I won't get into that. I have new direction for the fic and am #ready to start writing again! 
> 
> I don't want to promise anything in case it doesn't work out but I am /definitely/ not finished with this fic, even if I do take three freakin months to update lmao. 
> 
> Also I know this chapter is short compared to my other ones but the lengths were getting ridiculous and I need to chill - so here's a little something I did just to get back into the swing of things. <3

Being an insomniac and all, it was surprising that Tyler fell asleep at all that morning - especially considering that there was a _very_  cute boy spooning him from the get-go. Sure, at first his heart wouldn’t stop rattling against his chest but once he had gotten used to the (before now) unfamiliar feeling of being so close to another human being, he relaxed into the notion and it became _quite_ the enjoyable experience.

That is, until, Tyler was startled back awake by the violent beeping of a digital alarm clock on his bedside table.

After being ripped from the peaceful unconsciousness that we call 'sleep', it took Tyler about three seconds to lift his head up, fling an arm out and slap the 'off' button, all without bothering to do so much as open his eyelids. Then, as if the simple act had exhausted him already, he flopped his head back down against the pillow with a satisfying poof of air. At the same time a groan of annoyance slipped from his lungs as he realised that he must've forgotten to turn his alarm off for the weekend and was, ultimately, the cause of his own downfall.  _'Screw you, asshole.'_  He thought to his past-self, sighing as he shifted in the bed trying to regain some of the comfort that was so ruthlessly ripped from him moments before.

It was only then that he realised there was a slight weight on his chest and with an almost lazy curiosity he brought up a hand to feel what was there. His wandering fingers were met with a roundish foreign object that felt hard, warm and wiry to the touch and in his dazed state Tyler just couldn't place what it was. The fondling was a little less than delicate so when he finally forced his eyes open and found his fingers deeply entangled in  _Josh's Dun's hair_  it was a bit more than just a shock to the system. 

Tyler sucked in a sharp breath as his hand reflexively recoiled from the matted mess, watching with wide eyes as the sudden rise of his chest caused Josh's head to loll back slightly. At first Tyler thought the movement meant he was awake which caused a spark of panic to shoot through his veins, but as Josh's head continued to roll backwards his closed eyelids came into view and Tyler exhaled out of relief - this time in a much slower and more careful manner.

Unwillingly, Tyler blinked away the last remnants of sleep then dared to run his eyes over the dimly-lit body in front of him so his brain could finally make logical sense of all this mess. Josh was laying splayed out on his front and had obviously gone through the trouble of scooting down the bed in the night so he could rest his head atop Tyler's chest, a spot in which it had stayed for however long the two boys had been asleep. Tyler smiled lopsidedly at the thought of Josh shuffling down the bed _on purpose_ just to be closer to him. Of course, it could have just been an accident but the way one of his arms was stretched across Tyler's torso to hold onto his upper back made him think otherwise. Tyler strained to lift his head up and peer over the mound of covers to find, as suspected, Josh's feet poking out over the edge of the bed; only one sporting the blue-and-black striped socks that he had gone to sleep in, and Tyler had to restrain himself from laughing out loud at the sight.

Tyler's head flopped back down again and he stared up at the ceiling, a warm feeling flooding his insides. He remembered the silly conversation they had about feet last night (or in the early hours of the morning) with a small chuckle before stopping himself and nervously looking down at the boy in front of him, hoping he hadn't just woken him up. His stare lingered as Josh let out a soft snore, watching the rise and fall of his back intently – and before he knew it he had raised his right hand and let it hover over the sleeping boy's head, flexing it out hesitantly before landing it gently in the curly blue Mohawk.

Josh's hair wasn’t soft at all – it felt plastic-y and thin to the touch (probably from all the dyeing), matted, a tad greasy and if Tyler was being _completely_ honest here it smelt like alcohol and vomit. But then again, if he was being _completely_ honest here it was probably _his_ vomit that he could smell and _he_ probably smelt twice as bad, but still, you couldn’t deny the hearts practically forming in his eyes as he gingerly stroked the blue wisps atop Josh's snoring head.

Tyler hummed contently as time ticked by, alternating between messing up the (already messy) hair by rubbing his thumb in a circular motion, and soothing the mess out with a few delicate strokes of his long fingers. From where he was laying he could almost follow the strands like a map or a river as they twisted and turned into more contrasting textures - reminiscent of clouds, old weather beaten trees or even birds' nests. It was like a writers wet dream, and Tyler suddenly wondered how something could be so unique... so _Josh,_ in a world where everything felt so bland and unoriginal. 

At this point Tyler had moved on to seeking out the barely visible patches of bleach-blonde where the dye hadn't stayed in for long enough, and he couldn't help but imagine what Josh would look like with blonde hair - which then lead him to question if he had already done it before or was planning to do it sometime in the future.  _'It doesn't matter, he'd still look good.'_ Tyler thought to himself, running a finger over one of those patches at the crown of his head, probably where he couldn't reach. 

"I could reach..." Tyler let slip, barely muttering the words aloud - but he was starting to get drowsy again and had stopped caring about being careful.

His thoughts then wandered to his own hair. _'Brown. Plain old brown.'_ He thought with a sigh. He wasn't  _bland_ \- or at least he hoped he wasn't. Why would someone like Josh take interest in a  _bland_ person, a  _plain_ person, when he himself contains so much personality in  _one single strand of his hair_. 

 _'Maybe I should die my hair then Josh would stick around me for longer.'_ Tyler thought innocently before back-tracking and checking himself,  _'-Wait, no. Josh likes me for me and if I dyed my hair then I'd just be copying him. I gotta express myself in my own way...'_ His last thought echoed throughout his brain as he looked around his room, subconsciously seeking out proof that he _was_ in fact, an individual human being worthy of Josh - or anyone else's time.

Almost automatically Tyler's gaze fell upon his trophy shelves - all for basketball, of course. Originally there had only been one shelf but his dad had installed another as the trophies kept on coming; now there's even some upstairs along with a couple of Zack's, although he's got no where near the amount Tyler has. There's so many medals and trophies in the Joseph household that they're practically all worthless now, and that's not Tyler being vain, it's just that in this day and age every kid gets a medal for showing up, and Tyler has more than enough of those.

He was proud of his achievements in basketball, though, don't get me wrong, but the unsatisfied feeling bubbling in the pit of his stomach could only be ignored for so long. His gaze dropped heavily and was drawn to the contents his bedside table. His black book. His  _real_ self. Keeping one hand steady in Josh's hair, he used the other to reach over and pull open the draw -  feeling around blindly for the worn leather that was so easily distinguishable from the food wrappers, school supplies and other crap he kept in there.

He shut the drawer carefully, so not to wake Josh up, and slowly brought the book up to his face, somehow managing to turn the pages whilst still stroking Josh's hair. He leisurely scanned over the drabble that filled each and every page - trying to remember what crisis or issue was going through his mind at that time. He chewed on the inside of his cheek as a few disconnected words popped out at him: _imperfection, doubt, alone, broken_ \- each statement worse than the last. He never really looked back on his 'creative outbursts' very often, mainly because those 'creative outbursts' were more like 'documented breakdowns' - so he had no incentive to relive or reflect upon them in any way. He just wanted them out of his mind and onto the page and that's where he left them. Locked away in his little leather book. He wasn't proud of this like he was with his basketball trophies - you can't hang an emotional breakdown on a wall. 

But then he reached the page where the poem for Josh was written. The words were still scribbled and rushed but at least they were in distinguishable lines and everything seemed... clearer. Happier, even. Like he hadn't been writing as if he was trying to scratch someone's eyeballs out - that kind of happy. And then, suddenly, Tyler had an epiphany. _'_ _This book isn't the real me... this is me when I've had no sleep, me when I'm at my limit, me when I'm sad. The real me is...here. This page. Writing truthfully... and writing because I want to, not because I have to.'_

And with that he had a surge of inspiration, a purpose, a moment of motivation - so much so that he stopped stroking Josh's hair for an instant to lean over to his bedside table and urgently rummage around for a pen.

Tyler was going to write a song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your lovely comments and feel free to leave more, you know I'm a hoe for that kinda thing and I reply to like 99.9% of them so shoot away - and I promise Josh will be conscious in the next chapter ;))


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